The Way We Are
by TaintedLove
Summary: A continuation of The Way We Were: Season 2! Eli/Grace **Series is now COMPLETE** Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, y'all!
1. Needs and Compliance

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
(Season Two of 'The Way We Were')  
  
Hi! Well, I'm finally writing my season two I promised you. "The Way We Were" (season one) is up on here, in case you haven't read it. I don't think it will be absolutely necessary to read season one to understand season two, so... Uh, this takes place at the same time the show's season two took place, so Grace is 15, Eli 17/18. But, it doesn't follow what happened in the show, although I may steal ideas from it, every now and then.  
  
But, yeah, okay. This series will be Grace/Eli mostly. When we left off in "The Way We Were" Grace and Eli had begun dating, Lily & Rick got married, Jack & Tiffany got married and Tiffany is pregnant, and everyone knows about Grace & Eli's relationship. Okay, that about sums it up. Thanks for reading, as always. ~Tainted Love  
  
Oh, wait, one thing you should know is that [[anything in these]] are the black and white interviews!  
  
Chapter One//Needs and Compliance  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Easy! Grace, gently!"  
  
Grace narrowed her eyes in frustration and continued to softly push the gas. The car took off slowly down the street. Lily clutched the strap of her seatbelt, as she watched on from the passenger's side. Grace had taken driver's training this summer, and had received her driver's permit a few weeks ago.  
  
"Okay, slow down... brake for the stop sign," Lily called out.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes. She knew this.  
  
"Okay, uh, just go straight," Lily said, looking out for other cars.  
  
Grace looked straight at the empty residential road. She looked to her left, where the road led to a busier street, where you could actually go, like 30mph. Grace sighed, and drove straight.  
  
[[Grace - Driving... takes practice. Practice means you actually get out there and drive! *rolls eyes* Driving down vacant streets is not driving.... I mean anyone can drive 25 while going in a straight line. *looks away*]]  
  
"Grace?" Lily asked, as she noticed Grace's eyes shifting from the road. "You're not looking."  
  
Grace blinked, focusing on the road again. "Yes, I am," She said through clenched teeth. "I was just checking my mirrors."  
  
Lily turned in her seat, "There's no one else around, honey."  
  
"Exactly my point," Grace muttered.  
  
Lily didn't hear her, and turned her attention back on the road. "Another stop sign up ahead."  
  
Grace managed a civil nod. When she got to the stop sign, she turned on her left blinker.  
  
"You hit the blinker switch," Lily informed her.  
  
"I know," Grace said, giving her mother a tense smile.  
  
"Grace... you're not ready..." Lily began, but Grace was already turning the corner.  
  
[[Lily - She's not ready. She's not ready to be... not a kid, anymore.]]  
  
"Grace," Lily said, her body tensing as other cars began to come into the picture. "Make sure you stay on your side of the line."  
  
"I am," Grace assured her.  
  
Lily's eyes widened as cars showed up behind them, to the side of them, in front of them. She let out an audible breath as Grace slowed to a stop at a red light.  
  
[[Lily - I feel like she's not my... baby... anymore. She's growing up. And not just the driving *frowns*... but also, this relationship she has with Eli. It's just so serious. She's only 15.... 15.]]  
  
"Didn't you have to stop at Wal-Mart?" Grace asked.  
  
"Uh," Lily replied. "I can do that later."  
  
But Grace was already turning in that direction. Lily reluctantly sunk back against the seat, her hands balled in fists.  
  
"Just... don't park by anyone," Lily said as they pulled into the parking lot.  
  
Finally Grace obeyed her, and parked in the far row, where there were no other cars. She turned off the engine, looking to her mother. "See, I'm a good driver."  
  
Lily pushed the release on her seat belt, and nodded, "You're fine."  
  
"Dad thinks I'm a good driver," Grace added.  
  
Lily lifted her head slightly in acknowledgement. "I said you were fine."  
  
Grace got out the car.  
  
[[Lily - And if she's all grown up now, then does she not need ME anymore?]]  
  
* * *  
  
"We're back!" Lily called out, trying to hide the shakiness to her voice.  
  
"How'd it go?" Rick asked, as he entered into the kitchen.  
  
Grace shook her head, "My mom is paranoid."  
  
Lily ignored that statement, and leaned in to give her husband a kiss. "It went well."  
  
"I'm a good driver," Grace spoke up.  
  
"I believe you," Rick assured her.  
  
Grace turned to leave the kitchen, and threw a look over her shoulder, "Maybe I should just drive with Dad from now on."  
  
"Yeah, okay," Lily said, relieved. Grace left, and Lily sank a heavy head against Rick's chest. "It was so scary."  
  
Rick smoothed her hair back from the sides of her face. "Was it?"  
  
Lily sighed, and looked up into his eyes. "She's a good driver, but..."  
  
Rick nodded for her to go on, but Lily was stuck for words. She just groaned, and moved away, hoping there was still some coffee left over from this morning.  
  
* * *  
  
"What are your things doing on my bed?!"  
  
Grace lifted her head from the book she was reading as she heard the shout. It was Jessie.  
  
"I only put them there while I was cleaning my side of the room!" Zoe yelled back.  
  
Grace sighed, and marked her place in the book. She got up and crossed through their shared bathroom and into Jessie and Zoe's room. The two girls stood in similar stances, with their arms crossed, and their eyes narrowed.  
  
"I'm trying to read," Grace said, when neither one of them spoke.  
  
"And I'm trying to breathe!" Jessie screamed, startling Grace with her ferociousness. "I can't do ANYTHING without her being in my space!"  
  
"I'm not in your space!" Zoe argued.  
  
"Your crap..." Jessie flung an arm in the direction of her bed, "is in my space!"  
  
"I'll move it," Zoe said, "...after I finish cleaning."  
  
Grace sighed, and leaned against the doorframe. All summer it had been nothing but fight after fight with the two girls.  
  
Lily and Rick appeared in the doorway to the hall. "What's going on?" Rick asked, his tired expression showing he had had enough of the fighting too.  
  
"Zoe put all her crap on my bed!" Jessie explained.  
  
"I was going to move it," Zoe explained slowly, as if speaking to a child.  
  
"Zoe?" Lily spoke up, "Did you ask Jessie if you could put your stuff on her bed?"  
  
"No," Zoe admitted, "But I didn't think she'd throw a hissy fit because of it!"  
  
"I'm not throwing a fit!" Jessie screamed. "I just wanted to come in here, and listen to some music, and lay on my bed... and I can't because she put all her ratty junk on my bed!" Jessie stormed over to her cluttered bed, and began tossing things off it. Zoe watched, wide eyed as her stuffed animals, books, clothes were thrown to the floor.  
  
"MOM!" Zoe cried.  
  
"Jessie," Rick said softly.  
  
Jessie stopped. She looked at her father, her face tightened in anger. "I want to go to Mom's."  
  
"Jessie..." Rick tried.  
  
Jessie shook her head, "I want to go... I'm going to call her."  
  
"Jessie, Zoe will take her stuff off the bed," Lily said. She looked to Zoe, and Zoe reluctantly began removing items from the bed.  
  
Jessie wouldn't even look at Zoe or Lily. "I can't live in this room another second," She said to her father. Rick knew nothing he said would convince her of anything different, and so he silently let her storm past him.  
  
Lily and Rick looked at each other.  
  
[[Lily - I guess I was expected for us to be a happy little family. That getting married would make everything perfect. I forgot that kids are kids... and families are never perfect.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"They're at it again."  
  
Eli sighed, "What happened this time?"  
  
Grace further entered his attic room, and explained, "Zoe put her stuff on Jessie's bed."  
  
Eli couldn't resist to smile at her and say, "I wouldn't mind if you put your stuff on my bed."  
  
"Is that right?" Grace asked, climbing up next to him on the bed. "If I had all my books and clothes piled on your bed, and you just wanted to take a nap..."  
  
Eli shook his head, "I don't nap."  
  
"I'm talking hypothetical here," Grace reminded him. "It wouldn't bug you if I did that?"  
  
"Well, maybe a little," Eli admitted.  
  
Grace leaned in and kissed his nose, "Then I'll remember NOT to do that."  
  
Eli's face widened in a smile. They studied each other's faces.  
  
[[Grace - I love him, I love him! Eli has... just made me so happy. I had a great summer, just being with him.]]  
  
"You're a little sunburned," Eli commented.  
  
[[Eli - Grace, what can I say about Grace? I love her. She's changed everything for me. I've never felt this way about anyone else.]]  
  
"That's because I actually go out in the daylight, unlike certain musician boyfriends of mine," Grace joked.  
  
"How many boyfriends do you have?" Eli teased.  
  
"I could do a count, if you're really interested," Grace brushed her nose against his.  
  
"I'm not all that interested," Eli said.  
  
"Oh, yeah?" Grace asked, amused. She leaned in to kiss him, but was interrupted by the sound of thumping feet on the stairs.  
  
"Mom's not home!" Jessie wailed as she entered the room. She noticed that Grace and Eli were practically in each other's laps, but was too upset to apologize for interrupting anything.  
  
"Oh?" Eli said, looking at Grace's lips with disappointment.  
  
[[Eli - I had thought that, with us living here... that Grace and I would have all these opportunities to be alone together... and *shakes head* that hasn't quite happened like I thought it would. There's just always too many people around.]]  
  
"I can't live with that brat any longer!" Jessie said, coming and sitting at the edge of the bed. She looked up at Grace with a flicker of guilt, "No offensive."  
  
Grace shook her head, "Hey, I wouldn't want to live in the same room as my sister either."  
  
"And Dad and Mom won't let me stay full-time at Mom's!" Jessie said sinking her chin into the heel of her palm. "So, I'm stuck here..." She looked up at Eli hopefully, "Maybe I could just room with you."  
  
Eli immediately began shaking his head, "No way."  
  
Jessie grumbled, "I have to do something! I can't take this anymore." Her eyes turned to Grace, "Maybe I could move into your room with you?"  
  
"Uh, I don't think that would work..." Grace hedged.  
  
Jessie nodded, accepting it. "Of course. They have to lump the two babies in together!"  
  
"You're not a baby," Grace insisted. "You're going into high school."  
  
"Exactly!" Jessie cried, "So... why do I have to share my space, and my ENTIRE life with a child?"  
  
"We'll figure something out," Eli assured her.  
  
Jessie nodded, but didn't look hopeful.  
  
* * *  
  
"We have to figure something out," Lily said with a sigh as she and Rick got into their bed. "They're driving themselves crazy, they're driving each other crazy... they're driving us crazy!"  
  
"Well, what other options do we have?" Rick said with a sigh. "Besides shipping them all off to boarding schools on the other side of the country."  
  
"Do you happen to have any brochures for these boarding schools?" Lily asked, cozying up to him.  
  
Rick shook his head. "I'll send out for them in the morning," He joked.  
  
"Maybe it's time we pull out plan B," Lily suggested.  
  
"There's a plan B?" Rick asked, intrigued.  
  
"We could switch around the rooming assignments... Jessie and Grace, or Jessie and Eli, or Grace and Eli."  
  
"No... and no... and definitely no," Rick replied. "Neither one of those would be any better."  
  
Lily agreed, and the two lay silent for a few moments. Rick reached over and turned off his bedside lamp.  
  
"Maybe..." Lily spoke up.  
  
"Yeah?" Rick encouraged her.  
  
"We could do what we talked about that one time."  
  
"The boarding school thing?" Rick asked, encircling her in his arms.  
  
"No, remember we talked about once... about turning the garage into a usable space?" Lily nuzzled her cheek against his chest. "And one of them could move out there."  
  
"It may take some time, but... it sounds like the best idea I've heard all day," Rick said happily, and rewarded her with a long kiss.  
  
Lily reached over and turned off her bedside lamp too.  
  
* * *  
  
A hand reached out and grabbed Grace's arm.  
  
"Eli!" Grace whispered, pleasantly surprised.  
  
"I realized we never got in a real kiss today," Eli said, drawing her near. Grace looked up and down the empty hallway-- everyone else was already in bed... with Jessie and Zoe reluctantly sharing the same breathing space (for now).  
  
"I didn't think you noticed that," Grace said with a smile.  
  
"Of course I noticed," Eli said, and let his lips lightly brush her cheeks, forehead, chin... he paused before he reached her lips, "I always notice when I don't get to kiss you."  
  
Eli finally connected with lips with hers, and they both sank into the kiss.  
  
* * * 


	2. Life on the outside

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading/reviewing as always. Uh, all I have to say about the upcoming chapters is that don't expect everything to be all sunshine and rainbows for Eli and Grace. What would be the fun in that?  
  
Chapter Two//Life on the Outside  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"What are you reading?" Rick asked as he entered the kitchen.  
  
Lily looked up from the newspaper. "The classifieds."  
  
Rick's eyebrows raised, "Are you thinking about getting another job, again?"  
  
Lily shrugged, "If I happened to come across something interesting, maybe... I guess for now, the bookstore will have to just support me."  
  
Rick leaned in and kissed her cheek, "I thought I was the one who was supposed to support you."  
  
Lily smiled, "That's how it's supposed to work." She looked down at the paper, "But still, a different job would be nice."  
  
"Mmm hmm," Rick agreed, nuzzling his face into her hair. "You could always come work for me."  
  
Lily pulled back and shook her head at him, "I don't think that's such a good idea."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Lily stood up, and began refolding the newspaper, "Just because."  
  
[[Lily - Working with someone you love... isn't the best idea. I have to work with Judy, and I love her, but.... *small smile, and a shake of her head* It's just not a good idea.]]  
  
"Do we have any more bagels?" Zoe asked, as the troops began filing into the room.  
  
"Yes, on the counter," Lily said, pointing. Zoe went over to make herself a bagel. Lily looked at Jessie and Grace, "Did you two want me to make you eggs or anything?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I'll just have cereal."  
  
"Jess?" Lily prompted.  
  
Jessie distractedly shook her head. She slumped down into a chair at the table. Lily looked at her, concerned. "So, starting high school today, huh, Jessie?" Lily said, hoping to cheer the girl up.  
  
Jessie gave a small nod.  
  
[[Jessie - High school... yeah. *is silent for a few moments* Why was I so eager to start high school? I skipped eighth grade... all the friends I had made are still in junior high. And I'm going into high school..... yeah...]]  
  
"It's not so bad, right, Grace?" Lily said,  
  
Grace gave her mother a look like she had just asked her if the sky was green. "Being a freshman... it's bad."  
  
Lily frowned at her oldest daughter. Jessie looked even more miserable. "But, you didn't have anyone else in high school with you when you started," Lily reminded Grace, "Jessie will have you and Eli."  
  
Grace was silent, munching on her Golden Grahams. Eli came downstairs, and caught his name being spoken.  
  
"I was just saying how Jessie will have you and Grace with her at the high school," Lily explained to him.  
  
Eli shrugged, "We'll probably never even see her. All the freshman classes are at the far end of the school."  
  
Lily disappointedly began fixing some scrambled eggs. Rick, sensing that Lily was trying to cheer Jessie up, spoke up, "Well, Jessie... you're smart. I'm sure high school won't be that bad."  
  
Jessie shrugged.  
  
"Eggs, Eli?" Lily asked.  
  
Eli got out a plate and held it out. Lily scooped some onto his plate. Eli joined the rest of the kids at the breakfast table. "Good morning," He said to Grace.  
  
Grace smiled at him, "Good morning."  
  
Zoe faked a gagging noise. Grace threw a napkin at her.  
  
"So, you're now a senior," Grace said to Eli.  
  
Eli nodded, "Yes I am."  
  
"Remember to see your guidance counselor about getting those pamphlets about colleges," Rick said to Eli.  
  
Eli frowned, "It's the first day, Dad."  
  
"And it's about time you really thought about what you want to do when you graduate," Rick replied, not sensing Eli's exasperation.  
  
"Fine," Eli finished off the last of his eggs, "Can we go now?"  
  
Lily threw her car keys over to him, "Drive safe."  
  
The four kids headed out the door. They dropped Zoe off first at the elementary school, and well the car was in park, Eli looked over at Grace, "Want to drive?"  
  
In the backseat, Jessie's eye widened.  
  
"Really?" Grace asked, her own eyes a bit big.  
  
Eli nodded, "You've got your permit."  
  
"Uh, okay," Grace agreed with a smile. She and Eli got out of the car and switched sides. Jessie checked to make sure her seatbelt was on tight.  
  
"You're a good driver," Eli approved as they went along.  
  
Grace nodded, "My mom is just paranoid."  
  
In the backseat, Jessie yanked out her class schedule, studying over it with a frown.  
  
[[Jessie - *reading off of class schedule* English, room 234B. B? *looks up, confused*]]  
  
Grace pulled into the school, and pulled into a parking space.  
  
"Perfect driving," Eli complimented her. He leaned in and gave her a kiss.  
  
"Where's 234B?" Jessie spoke up.  
  
"Hmm?" Eli asked, drawing back from Grace's lips.  
  
"234B," Jessie said again.  
  
"Uh, the north corridor, second floor," Eli answered, distracted by the cute little smile on Grace's face.  
  
Jessie opened her mouth to ask where the north corridor was, but Eli and Grace were already back to their kissing. Jessie got out the car, clutching her schedule.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, there you are!" Eli said as Grace strolled into the lunch room.  
  
"Hi," Grace said, wanting to kiss him, but seeing there was way too many people around. She caught site of Julie, Ashley, Sarah sitting at their old table. There was another girl at the table, who had long curly red hair. Grace had never seen her before.  
  
"Did you want to go eat at JD's or something?" Eli asked, waggling the car keys in one hand.  
  
"Uh, sure," Grace agreed. "Let me just go say hi to my friends, and then we'll go."  
  
"Alright," Eli agreed and watched her go.  
  
"Hi guys," Grace said as she approached the table.  
  
"Hi," Her friends chorused.  
  
"This is Diana," Julie said, gesturing at the new face at the table. "She just moved here."  
  
"Hi," Grace said to Diana.  
  
Diana smiled politely at Grace and then turned to Julie. "Who is that guy over there?" Diana asked.  
  
Julie followed where Diana's eyes were looking, and groaned. "That's Kevin."  
  
"He seems to keep looking at us," Diana commented.  
  
"Yeah, well... he and I have a lot of history," Julie said with a sigh. "He was my boyfriend last year."  
  
"Oh," Diana said, getting it.  
  
"So, uh," Grace said, uncomfortably. She kind of felt like an outsider. But that didn't make sense. These girls were her best friends. "I just wanted to come over and say 'hi'."  
  
"Oh, okay," Julie said, looking over at Grace.  
  
"I'm going out to eat with Eli," Grace explained.  
  
"Have fun," Sarah said.  
  
"So, what's the story behind you and Kevin?" Diana said eagerly to Julie.  
  
Grace waited, but no one else said anything to her, so she backed away, and joined Eli at the doors.  
  
"Ready?" Eli asked.  
  
Grace nodded, "Yeah, sure."  
  
"You okay?" Eli asked, brushing a lock of hair back from her face.  
  
Grace nodded, plastering on a smile, "I'm just fine."  
  
They left, Grace glancing a look over her shoulder at her friends.  
  
* * *  
  
"Did you tell Rick?"  
  
Lily paused, her forkful of noodles halfway to her mouth, "Tell him what?"  
  
Judy gave her that 'don't play dumb' look. "About the job," Judy said.  
  
Lily shrugged, "I'd tell him, but there's nothing to tell... I haven't heard back from them yet. I probably won't here back from them."  
  
"You're sure you don't want to stay here?" Judy asked, looking around at the deserted bookstore. "We could always give you a pay raise."  
  
"We can't afford to do that," Lily reminded her.  
  
Judy nodded, "Right." The bells above the door rang, and they looked over in surprise. "A customer," Judy said happily.  
  
* * *  
  
"Watch it!"  
  
Jessie grimaced as two guys pushed hurriedly past her. She looked down at her schedule, reading over the classroom numbers for her history class again. She looked up, and studied the numbers writing above the doors. She sighed and looked down at her paper again.  
  
"Hey Jess."  
  
Jessie looked up, catching a glimpse of Grace going past her. "Grace- -" Jessie began, but by then Grace was already out of sight. Jessie began moving unsurely down the hall again.  
  
[[Jessie - I ended up eating lunch alone. I thought maybe I'd see Grace or Eli... but... they weren't there. And, of course, I have NO friends at this school. None. The only two people I know here are so wrapped up in themselves and their relationship, that they don't even think about ME...]]  
  
The bell rang, and the hallway cleared out as kids rushed into classrooms. Jessie looked down at her schedule for the millionth time.  
  
[[Jessie - And I can't even find my stupid classroom!!]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Where is she?" Eli asked with annoyance.  
  
Grace looked out the car's window. "Maybe she had to go to her locker or something."  
  
Eli nodded, and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. "We have band practice tonight at my mom's... want to come?"  
  
"Of course," Grace said.  
  
Eli turned to her and smiled, "You're my inspiration."  
  
Grace smiled back, and drew his head towards her. She kissed him, her lips lingering against his.  
  
The back side door opened, and Jessie climbed in behind them.  
  
"About time," Eli said gruffly. He and Grace didn't look back, and so they didn't see the pained look on Jessie's face.  
  
[[Jessie - I hate high school.]]  
  
"So, we're working on putting music to the newest song," Eli said, looking over at Grace.  
  
"Cool," Grace said.  
  
In the back, Jessie crumbled up her class schedule and tucked it inside one of the pockets of her backpack.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where are you going?" Rick asked as Eli and Grace walked past him.  
  
"To practice..." Eli said. "I thought I told you."  
  
"Did you see your counselor today?" Rick asked.  
  
Eli's shoulders slumped, "I forgot."  
  
"You know, it's important you start thinking about your future," Rick said firmly.  
  
Eli's eyes narrowed, "I'll go tomorrow." He opened the front door, "We'll be back later."  
  
Rick sighed as the two of them left. Jessie entered from the kitchen, hearing the car start up in the driveway. "Where are they going?"  
  
"To practice," Rick told her.  
  
"Oh," Jessie said, disappointed. She would have liked to go to practice too.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli," Grace said gently as they began to drive towards Karen's house.  
  
"What?" Eli snapped, and then caught himself. "Sorry."  
  
Grace shrugged, "That's okay... so do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really," Eli said, and then contradicted himself by launching into it anyways, "All my dad and my mom do anymore is bug me about college. College." Eli sighed, "I don't think I want to go to college."  
  
"What do you want to do?" Grace urged him.  
  
"I want to do this..." Eli looked over at her, "I want to play music, and be with you."  
  
Grace smiled. "Then do that."  
  
"Yeah, right... my parents would throw a fit," Eli snarled. He lapsed into silence.  
  
Grace turned and looked out the window.  
  
[[Grace - Eli's always saying something that shows just how much he cares about me. I know he loves me. I love him. *thoughtful silence* But, what if he goes away to college? What about when I go away to college? Will our relationship really last that long, if we are apart?]]  
  
* * * 


	3. Under Pressure

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter Three//Under Pressure  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Eli?"  
  
"Right, yeah..." Eli grabbed his backpack off the couch, "I'm coming."  
  
Karen nodded, and waited until he and Jessie had filed past her and out the door. She closed their house door behind them with a soft click.  
  
"Can I drive?" Eli asked as they walked to Karen's car.  
  
"No, I think I should..." Karen said, pulling the car keys out of her purse. "I just need to drop you off at Lily's and then head back over to the office."  
  
"Can I drive?" Jessie mocked. Karen patted her affectionately on the head.  
  
Eli hid a grimace from his mother as he crawled into the backseat. He never got to drive.  
  
[[Eli - If I had my own car... man, that'd be cool. *smiles* I'd take Grace and we'd drive down empty back roads, and have the music going and just be... alone... together. *shakes head slightly* But of course, my parents don't agree with the idea of me getting a car. But, I'm almost 18... almost an adult.]]  
  
"Are you sure you two are okay with you Dad taking you tonight? I've just got an extra heavy load of work at the office, and then I have that meeting in Madison in the morning... I wouldn't be there with you tonight, and I wouldn't be able to fit in driving you two to school in the morning," Karen explained, looking intently at her kids.  
  
Eli shrugged, biting back the urge to say what he really wanted. Which was if Eli had his own car, none of that would matter.  
  
Jessie shrugged too, "It's okay... even if it means I have to spend another night with... Zoe."  
  
Karen's face broke into sympathy. "Oh, honey. It can't be that bad, can it?"  
  
Eli wrestled his headphones and disc-man out of his backpack. He slipped the headphones over his ears, and eagerly turned up the volume. He slunk back into the seat and closed his eyes. He didn't really feel like listening to Jessie moan about living with Zoe right now.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, E?"  
  
Eli turned, "Yeah?"  
  
Rick gestured towards the direction of the garage. "I was thinking we could start working on fixing up the garage today."  
  
Eli shook his head, "I can't."  
  
Rick's expression turned cloudy. "Do want to elaborate on why not?"  
  
Grace appeared in the kitchen doorway, apparently waiting for Eli. She paused as she noticed the tension.  
  
"I have band practice," Eli informed his father.  
  
"Can't it wait?" Rick said. "I was thinking if we started on moving some of the boxes and..."  
  
"I promised the guys," Eli interrupted him.  
  
Grace turned her face away from the tense conversation. She faked interest in reorganizing the magnets on the fridge.  
  
[[Grace - *looks at camera, and then away... nervously fidgets*]]  
  
"Eli, Lily and I were thinking that the garage room should be yours," Rick said pointedly.  
  
"And I'd help, but I promised the guys," Eli said again. He looked up guiltily, realizing he had never asked if he could use his father's car. "Can I take the car?"  
  
Rick nodded sharply. "Fine," He grunted.  
  
"Grace, ready?" Eli asked.  
  
Grace looked up, and pasted on a smile, "Yup."  
  
"Does your mom know you're going?" Rick asked, a bit of a left-over edge to his voice.  
  
"Yes she does," Grace said, a bit of a chill to her tone.  
  
Eli took Grace's hand and led her out of the house.  
  
* * *  
  
"Our kids..." Rick said later that night, his voice rigid.  
  
Lily looked over at him, "Whatever do you mean?" She smiled, and sidled up to him on the bed, "Why, our kids are perfect little angels."  
  
Rick smiled a bit, and shook his head, losing the smile. "Eli's not doing anything but play music... he hasn't even thought about the decisions he needs to be making about colleges... Jessie's always complaining about Zoe..."  
  
"Zoe's always complaining about Jessie," Lily added, "And Grace is so focused on Eli right now..."  
  
Rick nodded, "And they're so young... to be so attached. Grace, especially."  
  
"Eli's almost an adult," Lily reminded him.  
  
Rick shook his head, "Maybe in years, but not in wisdom... he's still a grumpy, selfish kid. He won't even think about his future."  
  
Lily leaned her head against his shoulder. They were silent a few moments, and then Lily sighed. As long as they were talking about depressing subjects... "I got turned down today," She told Rick.  
  
"Turned down?" Rick echoed, totally lost.  
  
"There was this job I applied for... as an editor for a local magazine," Lily explained. "And apparently, I'm not qualified enough."  
  
"Oh," Rick said, unsure of how to comfort her, when this job was obliviously something she had been hiding from him.  
  
"I think the truth is... that I'm just too old. All the people there were so young, and... happy!" Lily said in a mocking cheerful voice.  
  
"We used to be happy," Rick said with a hint of a smile.  
  
"Oh, really?" Lily asked, nuzzling her face against his neck. "I don't remember that."  
  
Rick pulled her closer, and they both broke into smiles.  
  
[[Lily - I love that...]]  
  
[[Rick - ...that she can still...]]  
  
[[Lily - ...make me smile, even when...]]  
  
[[Rick - ...I've got a lot of things on my mind...]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Where's your mom?" Grace asked after practice had finished and the other guys: Markie, John, and Turk had gone home.  
  
"At the office still, probably," Eli said, taking a carton of orange juice out of the fridge. "She just got a major case... something to do with a landlord illegally raising the rent due to race, or something."  
  
Grace nodded, and watched as Eli poured two glasses full of the orange juice.  
  
"Cheers," Eli said with no trace of cheerfulness and they drank the juice.  
  
"So... your dad," Grace began.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," Eli insisted.  
  
"Okay," Grace said quietly. She looked at Eli while he was busy putting the glasses in the sink. She could tell that whatever pressure Rick, and Karen most likely too, was putting on him was getting to him. She didn't know what she could say to make it better...  
  
[[Grace - I don't understand why they are making it so tough on him. It's only the beginning of his senior year... it's not like he has to have all these plans already. Why can't they just back off?]]  
  
Eli turned back, and he actually had a ghost of a smile on his face, "So... we've got the place to ourselves."  
  
Grace smiled, "No Zoe teasing us... no Jessie bugging us... no parents watching us."  
  
Eli walked over to where she sat on the kitchen stool, and leaned his head down, meeting her in a kiss. Eli's tenseness gradually drifted from his body as he devoured the taste of Grace's lips. She kissed him back, just as eagerly, linking her fingers in his hair. They didn't get to do this enough... not with a house full of interruptions.  
  
A key turned in the lock, and they broke... of course, yet another interruption. It had seemed too good to be true.  
  
Grace quickly wiped the remains of her strawberry lip gloss off Eli's lips and chin.  
  
"That tasted good," Eli teased her as they heard the door open and Karen enter.  
  
Grace shushed him with a look, and they turned to greet the new arrival.  
  
"Hi mom," Eli said, with a smile. Somehow Grace had managed to cheer him up.  
  
[[Eli - I love that she can make me... happy, even when I'm having a really crappy day.]]  
  
"Hi," Grace said, purposely not calling Karen by a name. What was she supposed to call her? Karen? Ms. Sammler? Eli's mom?  
  
"Oh, I didn't realize you'd..." Karen trailed off, setting down her heavy briefcase.  
  
"Yeah, the band had another practice tonight," Eli said. "We were just about to head back to the house."  
  
Grace nodded.  
  
"I see," Karen looked down at her briefcase briefly, and then back up at the two of them. Her eyes darted back and forth between the two of them, as if she was unsure whether to bring this up in front of Grace. "Your father called me."  
  
"He did," Eli's slightly good mood deflated just like that.  
  
"Have you even gone to see your counselor yet, Eli?" Karen asked.  
  
"No... not yet," Eli said, pinpricks in his voice.  
  
Grace looked down at her hands.  
  
"I didn't think so..." Karen nodded, "So I've set up an appointment for you on Friday."  
  
"Okay," Eli said, slightly mockingly, "Then on Friday, I'll go see my counselor."  
  
"Eli, this is a very serious issue..." Karen said, her voice raising a level, "This is your future at stake."  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" Eli cried. He shook his head angrily, "Maybe if you just let me make my own decisions..."  
  
Karen paused, on the verge of responding, but looked at Grace, who was studying the floor tile with much interest. Karen lowered her voice, "Eli... you can make your own decisions, but you have to be making SOME kind of decisions... you can't just back away from it all."  
  
"I'm not doing that," Eli insisted. He picked up his guitar case and looked at Grace, "We should go."  
  
Grace got up, "Yeah." She managed a smile in Karen's general direction, "Bye."  
  
"Bye," Karen replied. She listened as they walked behind her, and out the apartment door. And then they were gone. Karen let her shoulders fall and she sank her face into her hands.  
  
[[Karen - I don't know where he's headed... I don't know what path he's on. How can I watch out for him if he's not where I expected him to be? How can I get him headed for the right paths?]]  
  
* * *  
  
"So, my mom's a bitch," Eli said as they drove back towards the house.  
  
"Eli!" Grace exclaimed.  
  
Eli shook his head, "It's true. She's always on me about EVERYTHING. She never lets anything be. She just never stops..." Eli angrily shook his head. "...And now my dad's being the same way. All I ever hear from them anymore is criticism."  
  
"That must suck," Grace said, earnestly.  
  
Eli nodded, letting out a long breath, "It completely utterly sucks."  
  
Grace looked out the window, drawing a heart on the slightly fogged up surface.  
  
"But at least I've got you," Eli said after a few moments of silence.  
  
Grace smiled, turning to him, and found him looking back at her. They shared a lasting comforting look. Then Eli turned his attention back to driving and Grace turned back to the window, and added this inside the heart:  
  
G + E  
  
* * * 


	4. Loosening the Knot

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Wow, thanks for the reviews! And for reading my little story. :) You guys encourage me to keep it up! Lots of love ~Taintedlove  
  
Chapter Four//Loosening the Knot  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"So, did you meet with your counselor?" Grace asked, snuggling closer to Eli on his bed.  
  
Eli sighed, "Yeah." He tightened his arm around her, "And so now I have another person on my back bugging me about making decisions about my future."  
  
Grace gave him a sympathic look. "You'll figure it out."  
  
Eli sighed again, "And if I don't... my parents will figure it out for me!"  
  
"Well..." Grace started, and paused as they heard a knock on the door to the attic. They sat up, making space between their bodies.  
  
"Yeah?" Eli called out. "Come on up."  
  
Lily came up the steps to the room. "I have some laundry," She announced holding up a small pile of Eli's laundry.  
  
Grace turned her head away and rolled her eyes.  
  
[[Grace - Our parents are so... watchful. They always seem to know when Eli and I are alone, and they interrupt us whenever they can. It's just... *clenches hands*... so frustrating!]]  
  
"Oh, Grace!" Lily faked surprise. "I was wondering where you had gone off too."  
  
Grace turned her face back towards her mother, "I was just up here."  
  
"Don't you think it's getting late?" Lily asked, handing Eli the clothes.  
  
"Not really," Grace said with a shrug.  
  
Lily wasn't expecting that reply, and paused for a second to collect herself. "Well, don't you have any homework?"  
  
"No, it's all done," Grace said.  
  
"Well," Lily looked at her feet briefly. "Uh, goodnight Eli."  
  
"Goodnight," Eli said back.  
  
"Uh, Grace?" Lily said as she began to turn back to the steps, "Can I talk to you for a moment?"  
  
Grace reluctantly followed her mother out of the room.  
  
[[Grace - I don't understand why they are so... uptight about it. Can't they see they can trust us?]]  
  
Lily waited until they had entered Grace's room, and she shut the door behind them. "Grace," Lily began.  
  
"I know what you're going to say," Grace said, interrupting her.  
  
"What's that?" Lily asked, a bit of a challenge to her voice. She crossed her arms and waited.  
  
"You're going to say that I should just stay in MY room, and Eli in HIS..." Grace said angrily. "But, mom... we're dating! You can't just expect us to never be together... alone."  
  
Lily tilted her head slightly, studying her daughter. "Grace, if Eli didn't live in the same house as you, would you be in his room at 11:30 at night?"  
  
"But he does live in the same house as me!" Grace argued. "We can't change that!"  
  
"I know the situation is weird for you two and Rick and I are still a bit unsure of how to deal with having dating kids living together..." Lily sighed, "I mean, do we need rules, Grace?"  
  
"Rules?" Grace echoed.  
  
"Yes, rules," Lily nodded. "I mean, you and Eli are taking too much freedom in this situation."  
  
"We're just spending time together!" Grace cried. "And we're not even alone that much! There's always Jessie or Zoe or you or Rick around! In fact, you and Rick are very careful to make sure Eli and I are NEVER alone!"  
  
Lily frowned, "Grace, we're just unsure on how to deal with you two..."  
  
"Just let us be! We can deal with ourselves," Grace insisted.  
  
Lily sighed, her shoulders dropping a bit, "But, Grace... you're so young."  
  
[[Lily - She's so young.]]  
  
"So?" Grace asked.  
  
"You're so young... to be in such a serious relationship," Lily finished.  
  
[[Grace - My mom just doesn't understand... not at all. Why can't she trust me and Eli? We'll do whatever's right... for us.]]  
  
"I love him," Grace said fiercely.  
  
"I know you do," Lily put a hand on Grace's shoulder, "But, Grace... it's just you're so young still to be... so attached to someone else. Your whole life revolves around him."  
  
"It does not," Grace said weakly. She sighed. "Or even if it does... it's worth it! He's worth it."  
  
"I just want you to be a kid," Lily said gently. "Have fun. Do the things a teenager would do. You don't have to stop seeing Eli. I just want you to start seeing yourself."  
  
Grace took this in. Lily kissed Grace's forehead, and left, knowing that Grace had enough to think about for now.  
  
* * *  
  
"Want to go to JDs?" Eli asked at lunch on Monday.  
  
Grace shrugged. She looked down the hall at the cafeteria doors. They hadn't eaten in the cafeteria since school started a few weeks ago. She barely talked to her friends, and when she did... it was different. It just wasn't the same as it used to be.  
  
"Or Mickey D's?" Eli offered.  
  
Grace shook her head, "I was thinking I could check in with my friends today. You know, eat with them."  
  
"Oh," Eli said, getting it. "Well, did you want me to come with you... or--?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "Maybe I should go by myself. I mean, I haven't really talked to them in a while, and it might be better..."  
  
Eli nodded, and Grace gratefully kissed him on the cheek. She was glad he understood.  
  
Jessie passed by in the hallway, on her way to the lunch room, her head hanging down a bit.  
  
"Jess!" Eli called, and Jessie looked up, surprised she had walked right by them without noticing. "Want to go out to eat?" Eli asked his sister.  
  
Jessie hesitated, "With you two?"  
  
[[Jessie - *looks to the side, rolls eyes* I know exactly how that would be. I sit there and watch them be all drooling over each other.... just like I do at home.]]  
  
"No, Grace isn't coming," Eli told his sister. "So, you want to go?"  
  
Jessie brightened, "Okay."  
  
"Bye," Eli said to Grace, leaning in to give her a quick kiss.  
  
"Bye," Grace said back when his lips had left hers. She watched Eli and Jessie go down the hall. Then she walked to the entrance of the cafeteria. It was time to see what she could do about her friends.  
  
* * *  
  
"I love this song," Jessie said cheerfully, turning up the radio.  
  
Eli smiled fondly at his sister, and began to back Lily's car out of the parking spot. "So, you think your friends will figure out where you went?" He asked his sister, realizing he hadn't let her stop and say goodbye to her friends.  
  
Jessie shrugged, losing her smile.  
  
[[Jessie - Right now, I don't exactly have... friends.]]  
  
"I haven't met any them," Eli commented, continuing with the subject, as he sensed something was up. "You never talk about them."  
  
"I don't have friends," Jessie said icily.  
  
"None?" Eli asked, a bit surprised. He hadn't really paid much attention to his sister's life lately, but he had thought she must have made some friends...  
  
"All my old friends are back at the middle school," Jessie said wearily. "And I don't even talk to them anymore."  
  
"But you don't have any friends here?" Eli asked. He glanced at Jessie's slumped figure out of the corner of his eyes as he drove along.  
  
"No... not really," Jessie admitted.  
  
"Why haven't you said anything?" Eli asked. He reached over and flipped off the radio. Silence filled the car.  
  
[[Eli - Have I been this blind to my sister? Why didn't I see...?]]  
  
Jessie turned, shooting him a dark look, "What was I supposed to say? I'm a loser and nobody likes me?"  
  
"You're not a loser," Eli said quickly.  
  
Jessie sighed, and looked out the window. "You have to say that, because you're my brother... you don't know what it's like for me... at that school. Nobody sees me. I'm practically invisible."  
  
Eli glanced at Jessie, who looked so sad.  
  
[[Eli - Why didn't I notice?]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Hi," Grace said as she approached her friend's lunch table.  
  
"Hi," Julie said, a bit surprised at Grace's unexpected appearance. She looked over Grace's shoulder. "Where's Eli?"  
  
"He went out to lunch," Grace answered. She unsurely sat down in an empty seat at the round table.  
  
"Oh!" Sarah said, compassionately, "Are you guys having problems?"  
  
"You didn't break up, did you?" Ashley added.  
  
Grace shook her head, setting down the hot lunch she had purchased before coming over to the table. "We're fine."  
  
"That's good," Julie said, but Grace felt like her heart wasn't completely in it.  
  
"Yeah," Sarah added with an energetic head bounce, "We were just saying the other day how you two are like the perfect couple... even if it is weird..."  
  
"Weird?" Grace asked, munching on a french frie.  
  
"Well," Sarah said slowly, realizing maybe she had gone too far. "I just meant with the whole parents being married thing."  
  
"Yeah, is that weird?" Ashley asked.  
  
Grace shrugged, "Sometimes."  
  
"Hi guys."  
  
Grace looked up as Diana arrived at their table. Diana saw Grace and gave her a tiny smile, "Grace, right?"  
  
Grace nodded.  
  
"Did you bring it?" Julie asked as Diana sat down in the empty chair next to Grace.  
  
Diana grinned across the table at Julie. "Oh course!" Diana dug through her backpack and pulled out a CD.  
  
Grace watched as the CD exchanged between Diana's hands to Julie's.  
  
"You're the best!" Julie cried, examining the cover.  
  
Grace ate another french frie.  
  
[[Grace - I don't know what's wrong... it just doesn't feel the same between me and my friends.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, excuse me."  
  
Grace moved to the side as a girl with springy curly brown hair and a long green dress brushed by her. Grace watched as the girl tacked a piece of paper onto the school announcements board. "What's that for?"  
  
The girl turned, seeing Grace watching her. She gave her a friendly smile. "Mr. Morris asked me to put up an announcement for the fall play tryouts."  
  
"The play?" Grace asked.  
  
The girl nodded, "Yeah. I've been in every play the school has had since I was a freshman. Mr. Morris is cool. And this year we're doing an original play written by a friend of his."  
  
"That's cool," Grace said.  
  
"Are you an actress?" The girl asked, eyeing Grace.  
  
Grace shrugged, "I'm not sure what I am."  
  
The girl smiled, "I'm Cynthia McCormick."  
  
"Grace Manning."  
  
Cynthia nodded at Grace, "I bet you're an actress."  
  
Grace smiled shyly and turned back to her open locker. "I don't think so."  
  
"Have you ever been in a play?" Cynthia asked.  
  
Grace laughed, "Yeah, I played a cat in a kindergarten play."  
  
"You should tryout," Cynthia encouraged. "It wouldn't hurt to try."  
  
Grace hedged, "Well... I'm really busy..."  
  
Cynthia drew a pen out of her purse. She poised it above the play tryout signup sheet. She smiled at Grace and waited for the go-ahead.  
  
"Alright," Grace resigned. "I think I just might tryout."  
  
Cynthia was pleased and wrote Grace's name on the list.  
  
Grace looked at her name on the sheet, and smiled.  
  
[[Grace - Acting? Pretending to be someone else? Yeah... I think I can do that. *smiles, raises eyebrows* I might even enjoy it!]]  
  
* * *  
  
"You're trying out for the play?"  
  
Grace nodded, grabbing a dinner roll from a basket. She added it to her plate. "Yup."  
  
Eli studied her from across the table, "I didn't realize you... liked acting."  
  
"It's something new," Grace said cheerfully. "It might be fun."  
  
Lily smiled at her daughter, pleased by Grace's new ambitions.  
  
"What about you, Eli?" Rick asked.  
  
Eli looked over guiltily, "What?"  
  
Rick took a sip of his water, "Have you given any thought to joining an extra-curricular this year?"  
  
"Why?" Eli asked slowly.  
  
Rick looked over at his son, "Well, for one thing, it would look good on your college application."  
  
"I already have 'basketball' to put on it," Eli reminded his father.  
  
"I know," Rick said, "But it looks good to have a... variety of extra- curriculars to list."  
  
Eli angrily stabbed at his pasta. He silently avoided his father's eyes.  
  
Rick looked at Eli intently, but seeing his son wasn't going to talk, he looked down at his own plate, his face twisting into a frown.  
  
[[Eli - He never gives up!]]  
  
* * * 


	5. Heading in New Directions

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 5//Heading in New Directions  
  
I know the chapters haven't had that that much Eli/Grace interaction lately, but believe me, everything that is happening in the chapters is important to the story. And to Eli and Grace's relationship... you'll see soon.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"You came!" Cynthia cried happily as Grace sank into the auditorium seat next to her.  
  
"Well, you did put my name down, remember?" Grace joked.  
  
"I didn't know if you'd actually come, though," Cynthia smiled. "See, I'm kind of a little bit aggressive, and I tend to scare any potential friends away."  
  
"You haven't scared me away," Grace said, and added, "Yet."  
  
Cynthia laughed. She looked past Grace as another person was coming down their row. Grace looked over too, and watched as an average height guy with shoulder-length blond hair, a tank top, baggy shorts and blue eyes walked towards them. Grace looked back at Cynthia, and saw Cynthia smile in recognition at this newcomer.  
  
"Hey Travis!" Cynthia called out.  
  
"Hi," Travis said, smiling, revealing teeth that looked very white against his tanned skin.  
  
Travis sat on the other side of Cynthia. "Are you doing this play too?" Travis mocked Cynthia.  
  
Cynthia pretended to be offended, "Of course. You too?"  
  
Travis smiled, "You know me."  
  
Grace allowed her eyes to fall on Travis. She was surprised he was an actor. His overall look had given her the impression of a slacker/surfer guy. Oh course, this was Chicago and they didn't have any oceans nearby, but the kids still liked to dress like cool Californians sometimes.  
  
Travis looked back at Grace, giving her a friendly smile. "Are you friends with this one?" He asked Grace, hitting Cynthia on the top of her head.  
  
Cynthia slapped his arm, "This is Grace."  
  
"Grace," Travis repeated. "I'm Travis."  
  
Grace smiled at him, "Hi."  
  
"So, are you trying out too?" Travis asked.  
  
Grace nodded.  
  
"Good," Travis pulled on a strand of Cynthia's hair. "Maybe you can steal the lead from this one."  
  
"Well, I don't think so..." Grace said, ready to launch into a speech of her lack of acting ability, but a tall man walked onto the stage then, and silenced them. Grace sunk back into her seat, and listened to Mr. Morris as he explained the play and the tryouts.  
  
[[Grace - I hope I get some kind of part... I've never really done any acting before. I could suck....]]  
  
* * *  
  
"You were really good," Travis said appreciatively as Grace slunk back into her seat.  
  
Grace turned to him, surprised, "Really?"  
  
Travis smiled, "Yeah, you're a natural."  
  
Grace smiled at that. She tried to hide her smile, but failed. She and Travis turned their attention back to the stage as Cynthia began to read her lines.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hi honey," Lily called out as Grace came in the front door, "How did it go?"  
  
"Fine," Grace said. She motioned to the stairs, "I'm just going to grab my stuff. Dad's waiting in the car."  
  
"In the car?" Lily asked, but Grace was already starting up the stairs. Since when did Jake wait in the car? Lily paused, and began to go back to the magazine she was reading. Then she set it down, and got up from the couch.  
  
* * *  
  
Jake jumped as a knock sounded on the car window. He looked over as Lily smiled in at him. Jake rolled down his window, "Hi Lily."  
  
"Hi!" Lily said. "I just wanted to come say hello. You could have come in, you know."  
  
Jake smiled, shrugging, "I know. Grace said she'd just be a second, though..."  
  
"Oh," Lily smiled. She searched for something to say. "So, how's Tiffany doing?"  
  
"Oh, Tiffany? She's fine," Jake nodded, "She's good."  
  
"I mean... how's she and the baby?" Lily elaborated.  
  
"Oh," Jake nodded again, "They're fine."  
  
Lily's brow furrowed a bit as she sensed Jake was holding back something.  
  
[[Lily - I still worry about him. I still care about him. It wasn't that long ago that it was just the two of us and Grace and Zoe... *smiles sadly* We were such a happy family... for a while, at least.]]  
  
Grace appeared at Lily's side, and Lily reluctantly bid her goodbyes to her ex-husband and stepped away as Grace got into the car. Lily waved as they drove off. She turned and headed back to the quiet house... to read her magazine.  
  
[[Lily - I need a job. A real job.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"You want to go with me?" Eli asked his sister.  
  
Jessie looked up, confused. "You want me to come with you?"  
  
Eli shrugged, "Why not."  
  
Jessie thought about it, but then frowned. "This is because of what I told you, right? About me not having any friends."  
  
"No, it's not," Eli lied. That was part of it. Eli wanted to help his sister.  
  
Jessie sighed, "Because I don't want your pity. I'll just live without friends... I'm sure it's been done before."  
  
"Come on," Eli urged her, "You'll have fun."  
  
Jessie hesitated.  
  
Eli smiled, "Do you really want to spend the night with Mom and Leo?"  
  
Jessie made a face at the idea of watching movies with their mother and her boyfriend on a Friday night. "Okay," She gave in. "I'll come."  
  
* * *  
  
"So, you're going to be in a play?" Zoe asked her sister.  
  
"Well, maybe," Grace shrugged. "That's if I get a part."  
  
Zoe wasn't discouraged though, and smiled, "And I'll be able to come and watch you."  
  
"Yup," Grace said with a smile of her own.  
  
"Cool," Zoe said, and danced away.  
  
"A play?" Tiffany said, having overheard them as she prepared dinner a few feet away.  
  
Grace smiled, "A friend talked me into it."  
  
"Wow, that's really great," Tiffany said enthusiastically, "I did a play myself in high school."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Tiffany nodded, smiling over the memories. "I played a fairy in 'The Midsummer Night's Dream'. Not a big part, but I was only a freshman then. I had so much fun. I completely fell in love with the guy who was playing Puck... Charlie Fresnal."  
  
"You did?" Grace asked.  
  
Tiffany nodded, "He was all... just so sexy, and handsome, and a bit of a bad boy. I was totally gone for him. And he was a senior, and I thought I had no chance with him. But..."  
  
"Yeah?" Grace encouraged her.  
  
"It turned out he liked me too. We dated throughout the play," Tiffany smiled. "It was a lot of fun."  
  
"It sounds like it," Grace commented, moving to the stove to help Tiffany prepare the lasagna.  
  
"I was so boy-crazy in high school!" Tiffany laughed, "I must have had a new boyfriend every month."  
  
Grace smiled, but she didn't know what that was like... Eli was the first person she had dated. Eli had been her first big crush. Eli had been her first kiss, and if you didn't count that kiss she had shared with Mark at Cassidy's stupid party... Eli was the only person she had ever kissed. Eli was her only.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey E!"  
  
Eli smiled, "Turk... Kyle, hey, what's up?"  
  
"Not much," Turk said with a slight shake of his head. His eyes fell on the girl behind Eli. "Hey Jessie."  
  
Jessie smiled shyly. She knew Turk, of course. He was in Eli's band, and Jessie saw plenty of him at practices and such... Turk was cool, but he was like the only familiar face she had seen so far. Jessie didn't know why she agreed to go with Eli to this party. All the people here were juniors and seniors, and Jessie felt so small and invisible with them.  
  
"That's Eli sister," Turk said to the guy next to him, Kyle.  
  
"You're little sister," Kyle said with a grin.  
  
"Shut up," Eli said, giving his friend a little shove. He looked back at Jessie and saw how uncomfortable she looked. "Want something to drink?"  
  
Jessie frowned and dodged out of the way as two girls barreled past her. "No beer," She said sternly to her brother.  
  
Turk and Kyle started laughing, and Eli guided Jessie away to the kitchen. "Just soda," He promised his sister.  
  
Eli handed her a Coca-Cola and then was distracted into a conversation with his friend Kevin. Jessie sipped her soda and looked around the crowded kitchen.  
  
[[Jessie - I just feel so different than everyone here... I just don't fit in.]]  
  
"Oh, yes!"  
  
Jessie turned, and saw a lanky girl with dark brown locks digging into the fridge.  
  
"Alright!" The girl cried enthusiastically. She turned around and caught Jessie looking at her.  
  
Jessie diverted her eyes, looking down into the open top of her soda.  
  
"I'm a nut, I know."  
  
Jessie looked up, surprised and saw the girl was indeed talking to her.  
  
The girl smiled at Jessie and pointed at the can of Orange Crush she had just got out of the fridge. "I don't drink any soda unless it's this orange kind. I can't believe they have it!" The girl took a huge sip of the soda.  
  
Jessie smiled softly and turned her face away. The girl surprised her once again by continuing to talk to her. "Sometimes I'll drink the purple crap... you know, like grape soda? Ever have that?"  
  
Jessie nodded.  
  
"But this orange stuff is the best!" The girl came closer to Jessie and noticed she was holding a can of Coca-Cola. "Do like Orange Crush?"  
  
Jessie nodded, "Yeah. It's my favorite."  
  
The girl went to the fridge and pulled out another can of the soda. She held it out for Jessie.  
  
Jessie held up the opened Coca-Cola. "My brother already got me this. And I've already been drinking it."  
  
The girl shrugged and smiled, "Who cares? It's not our soda!"  
  
She laughed and Jessie joined in her laughter. Across the kitchen Eli looked over and smiled at the sight of his sister laughing and talking with a girl.  
  
"I'm Katie," The girl said, as she replaced the opened Coke in Jessie's hand with the Orange Crush.  
  
"I'm Jessie," Jessie said shyly, opening the top of the soda.  
  
Katie smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
"I thought I'd stop working once I had the baby," Tiffany said.  
  
Jake sighed, putting his hands over his forehead. "Look, Tiff, you know how it is right now. Maybe things will be better by then, but the way the restaurant is going lately...."  
  
Tiffany nodded, her voice strained, "Right. We need the extra money."  
  
Jake smiled gently at her, "You don't have to go back to work right away after the baby, but maybe after a few months... we just really can't afford to..."  
  
"To what?" Tiffany challenged, "To have our baby be raised by its mother and not some stranger?"  
  
"We could set up a schedule so we won't have to have a babysitter or daycare. If we set up our work hours right..." Jake said, thinking it out in his head.  
  
"And then you and I would never see each other! We'd always just be coming and going," Tiffany said with a sigh. "Not that we see each other that much as it is now... but we could do it. Somehow we'd have enough money, and we could make it work, I know we could, Jake."  
  
"I really don't see how..." Jake began, but the phone rang. He reached across the table and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hold on. Grace, it's Eli!"  
  
Grace, standing just behind her closed bedroom door, paused, trying not to let her father and Tiffany realize she had been listening to their conversation.  
  
[[Grace - I hate hearing people fight. It's just awful.]]  
  
Grace waited another second and pulled the door opened. Tiffany looked over, giving Grace a strained smile. Grace went forward and took the phone from her father. She waited until she was back in her room before putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?"  
  
Eli's voice said back, "Hey."  
  
Grace smiled, "How's your weekend going?"  
  
"Oh, fine," Eli said, and Grace could almost see the shrug that had most likely accompanied those words. "How was the play tryout?"  
  
"Good, actually," Grace said.  
  
"So, you think you will get a good part?"  
  
"I don't know... maybe," Grace shifted the phone to her other ear. Through the bottom of door the sound of Tiffany and Jake's heated conversation rose up. Grace frowned.  
  
"I took Jessie to a party yesterday," Eli informed her.  
  
"Really? That's cool," Grace moved to the far side of her room, but her father's and Tiffany's voices still billowed up to her. Grace wished they'd stop fighting.  
  
"Yeah, I think she made a friend."  
  
Grace looked out the window, it was raining outside. "That's nice."  
  
"Yeah," Eli paused. "So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then at the house."  
  
"Yeah," Grace flinched as a particularly loud shout sounded out from the kitchen. She closed her eyes tightly.  
  
"I love you," Eli said.  
  
"Yeah, me too," Grace whispered. She opened her eyes, and clicked the phone off as Zoe entered the room, her eyes big.  
  
"Tiffany left," Zoe said tearfully.  
  
Grace moved forward and put an arm around her young sister.  
  
"Grace... why are they fighting?" Zoe asked, "They just got married. I don't want them to get a divorce."  
  
"Me neither," Grace said softly. And even though she had initially disliked Tiffany just because of what Tiffany stood for... the new young woman her father was dating-- Grace had begun to really like Tiffany. Love her even, as her funny, cool, caring stepmother. Her pregnant stepmother who had just walked out on her father.  
  
* * * 


	6. Play Pause Rewind

~A Once and Again~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 6//Play, Pause, Rewind  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"MOM!" Grace cried, screaming over the sound of the groaning washing machine. Lily's head popped up in the laundry room's door.  
  
"What?" Lily snapped, a little irritated as she herd the washing machine clanking behind her. Couldn't Grace see Lily was busy trying to deal with the troublesome machine?  
  
"I have to get to play practice by 4:30," Grace told her mother urgently. She had gotten a part in the play... a very good part. Probably the second best female part. Cynthia had scored the lead. Grace wasn't surprised. Her new friend was very good at acting.  
  
"Grace!" Lily sighed. She drew back into the laundry room and slapped a hand on the stop button. The washing machine slowly clattered to a stop. She came back out, and found Grace glaring at her.  
  
"Mr. Morris is not going to appreciate it if I'm late."  
  
"Right," Lily moved to the kitchen, sorting through the pile of papers gathered there-- a mixture of bills, Rick's architecture plans, and Zoe's rather good drawings of animals --for her keys.  
  
Grace picked them off the counter underneath a half-eaten piece of toast and jam and showed them to her mother.  
  
"I'm going to have to call a repairman," Lily grumbled, looking back at the opened laundry room door.  
  
"Hmm," Grace said, distracted as she checked her backpack to make sure she had her script.  
  
"Maybe I'll have to buy a new machine," Lily continued.  
  
Grace's fingers brushed against the script and she rezipped her backpack, pleased. "Let's go," She said looking up at her mother.  
  
Lily was lost in thought.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"I should call before the offices close and see if someone can come by tomorrow," Lily said aloud.  
  
Grace groaned, glancing at the clock. The door that connected to the garage opened, and Grace looked over to see Eli entering. He was in the process of moving out to the newly redone garage room. Eli looked back at her, blinking. "I thought you had practice or something..." Eli commented.  
  
Grace plucked the keys out of her mother's hand. "I do... will you drive me?"  
  
Eli nodded, looking briefly at the incapacitated Lily, and they went out the doors.  
  
Grace nervously unzipped her backpack as she sat in the passenger seat, and looked for the script again. It was still there. This time Grace pulled it out and opened it. She skimmed over the words she had already begun to memorize. Her character was Cilia, a young girl in her twenties who was engaged to the character, Milos. But Milos was in love with the lead character, Ronda... played by Cynthia. Travis had proved to be just as good as an actor as Cynthia and he had gotten the part of Milos.  
  
"So, what part did you get?" Eli asked as they drove along.  
  
Grace looked up from the script pages. "Oh, uh, Cilia."  
  
"Is that the lead?"  
  
Grace closed the script and stashed it back inside her backpack, "No... Ronda is the lead."  
  
"Oh," Eli said with a slight nod.  
  
"Cilia is still a good part," Grace quickly added, "And my friend Cynthia is playing Ronda, and she's a really good actress. She's been in like every play Upton Sinclair has done."  
  
"Cynthia?" Eli asked. He took his eyes off the road long enough to look over at Grace.  
  
"Oh," Grace gave him a small uncomfortable smile, "She's just this new friend I have."  
  
"Oh." Eli looked back at the road.  
  
[[Eli - I feel like she's slipping away. Like we're both out on the ocean, and her raft is slowly drifting further from mine.... so, why aren't we on the same raft?? Isn't that how relationships should be? But, no... we have our separate rafts, and hers is getting further and further away.]]  
  
"So..." Eli said after a pause, "Anti-Inflammatory has a gig on Friday."  
  
"Really?" Grace asked with a hint of a smile.  
  
Eli nodded, "We miss having you at practices..."  
  
Grace shrugged, looking away, out the window at the passing houses. "I've been busy." She glanced back over at him, but he was looking straight ahead, "And I've been trying to deal with... this thing with my father and Tiffany."  
  
"Is it bad?" Eli asked, not wanting to pressure her into talking about it. But he knew something big was up with Jake and his wife. It was written on Grace's face, Zoe's face... even Lily's face at times.  
  
There were pulling into the school, and Eli almost wanted to drive around the block once more, to give Grace the proper time to talk to him about this.  
  
Grace sighed, "Well... I guess what they say is true."  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"Just drop me off at the doors, okay? I don't want to be late," Grace said, and Eli pulled the car up to the curb. Grace looked back at him, "Remember how everyone always says that it's bad luck to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding?"  
  
"Uh huh," Eli said with a nod.  
  
Grace brushed her locks of brown hair behind her ear. "Well, I've just been thinking lately... that my dad did that. He saw Tiffany before the ceremony. She wasn't really mad, though. It was her wedding day... why would she be mad, you know?"  
  
Eli put a hand on Grace's cheek, surprised to feel her trembling.  
  
Grace continued, "But, yeah... that probably doesn't mean anything. It's just a stupid superstition. But, I've just been thinking about that lately... because..." Grace sighed, looking up into his hazel eyes. "They've been fighting, and Tiffany's going back to her mother's for a while... maybe forever."  
  
"Oh," Eli said, speechless. His other hand rose up, and he held Grace's warm face in them.  
  
"And I might never see my half-sister or brother," Grace's eyes were misty.  
  
"Oh, Grace," Eli leaned closer.  
  
Grace looked away, at the school. Eli followed the direction of her eyes and saw two people standing in front of the doors-- a girl in a short black dress with brown curly hair and a guy in board shorts and a yellow tee shirt. "I have to get to practice," Grace said, pulling away from him.  
  
[[Eli - Her raft is nothing but a splotch of color on the horizon... I don't even see her anymore.]]  
  
"I'll come pick up you," Eli offered, "When does practice end?"  
  
Grace opened the car door and stepped out. "I'm not sure... I'll just get a ride with Cynthia or something."  
  
"Okay," Eli said, disappointed. Grace closed the door, and Eli watched her walk over to the two people lingering by the doors. The guy and girl gave Grace friendly smiles and the three began talking and joking around. Eli put the car into drive, watching as the three of them disappeared into the school.  
  
With a sigh, he drove away.  
  
[[Eli - And I wonder if there is any way to call her back... to get her to notice the distance between us, and just... come back to me.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"So, is there anything you can do?" Lily asked nervously.  
  
Bob, the repairman, straightened up with a doubtful look on his face. "How long have you had this machine?"  
  
Lily thought about it, "10... maybe 13 years."  
  
Bob nodded, "The cost of the repairs to this one would probably end up equaling out to the cost of a new one. I'm not supposed to say that, because I'm supposed to be bringing business in..."  
  
"Thanks," Lily said with a smile. "I appreciate your honesty."  
  
Bob smiled back, "Hey no problem." Bob picked up his clipboard from the top of the dryer. He looked back at Lily. "So, are you uh, married?"  
  
Lily blinked, "What?"  
  
"I was thinking maybe you could treat me to a drink in reward for uh, my honesty," Bob gave her a toothy smile, and Lily was flattered. Bob wasn't her type, and she was married, but it still felt good to have a guy look at her in that way...  
  
Lily held up her hand with her ring and smiled, "I'm married."  
  
Bob nodded, "Alright, then. I'll just be on my way... but if you ever have any more problems... like say the dryer starts acting up, call me."  
  
Lily nodded, and Bob slipped his card into her hand. Lily walked him to the back door, and after he had gone she looked down at the card with a silly little smile.  
  
The phone rang, startling her out of her enjoyment of Bob's flattery.  
  
Lily picked up the phone, "Hello?"  
  
"Is this Lily Sammler?"  
  
Lily smiled, still not used to the sound of her name linked with Rick's last name. "Yes, this is me."  
  
The sound of ruffling papers, "Lily, this is Mira Thomson, at WIXP. You sent in an application three weeks ago with WIXP... as an assistant to the manager.  
  
"That's right!" Lily said, cheerfully.  
  
"Alright, Lily," The woman seemed to be smiling at her, "Les has picked you out of the applicants. You can start Monday if you still want the job."  
  
"No interview?" Lily asked, surprised.  
  
"Nope, Les likes to give his new assistants a shot at the real job, and then he sees if you fit."  
  
"Oh," Lily clicked her teeth, "Well, yeah! I want the job. I'll be there on Monday."  
  
"Alright Lily, we'll see you then."  
  
Lily smiled as she clicked off the phone. Things were going good... finally. If only this good feeling could last.  
  
* * *  
  
"Shut up!" Grace laughed, "I don't know every line!"  
  
Travis smiled at her, "Well... you know all of Cilia's lines, at least... and probably most of the rest of them, too."  
  
Grace smiled, "So, I read the play a few times."  
  
"It's only the first week!" Travis kidded her. He plucked the script out of Grace's hands, "Live dangerously."  
  
"Hey!" Grace tried to grab the book back, "I need to read my lines for the next scene."  
  
Travis smiled smugly at her, he looked down at the script and read off a line at random, one of Ronda's lines, "My mother says that Milos is nothing but a bum."  
  
Grace couldn't help but say the next line, Cilia's line, "Your mother doesn't know anything about Milos. And it doesn't matter to me what your mother says about my fiancé... so why does it matter to you?"  
  
Travis smiled and nodded, "I told you." He handed Grace back the script, "You've got this down cold."  
  
Grace shrugged, "I guess I just really into this play. It's something new, and different and fun... something to take my mind off everything else in my life."  
  
Travis's eyes lingered on hers. Grace looked down shyly, looking at her script. "I know exactly what you mean," Travis spoke up. "Acting is such a release... you can become someone else. Everyone needs to be someone else, sometimes."  
  
Grace looked up into his blue eyes, and smiled. He understood.  
  
* * *  
  
"Are you all moved out?" Jessie asked eagerly.  
  
Eli nodded, "The attic room is all yours."  
  
Zoe pouted in her seat at the table. "I still don't see why Jessie got the attic," She mumbled.  
  
Lily overheard her as she was coming in from the dining room. "I thought you liked your room."  
  
Zoe shrugged.  
  
"Where's Grace?" Rick asked, coming in from the living room. "I thought we were going to have everyone together when we told them..."  
  
"Told us what?" Jessie asked, a little fearful.  
  
Lily caught on to Jessie's fear over what the news might be and quickly smiled. "I'll have to tell Grace when she gets home from practice... but well, I got a job."  
  
"You did?" Zoe asked, curious.  
  
"As an assistant to the manager at WIXP," Lily explained. "The bookstore just wasn't enough to support me anymore... and so..."  
  
"That's cool," Jessie said, glad the news wasn't something that would be changing her life in any big way... like a baby or something.  
  
Eli nodded, but he looked distracted. "When does practice get done?"  
  
Lily shrugged, "Grace didn't say. She just said she'd get a ride home with one of her fellow actors." Lily went over to the cabinet and took out a stack of plates.  
  
"Did you want me to run over and pick her up?" Eli offered.  
  
Lily smiled, "There's no need for that... She'll be fine." Lily looked over at Rick and Rick nodded, encouraging her to speak whatever it was she wanted to say. "Eli, we were thinking that with Rick and I both having fulltime jobs, that maybe we could think about getting a third car. You know, something for you to use... and Grace when she turns 16. Another car around here would be very helpful."  
  
Eli gave a small smile to his eager stepmother. This was something he had wanted... for so long. But, now, it just didn't really matter as much to him.  
  
[[Eli - I wonder how she got so far away to begin with. Why didn't I see her drifting away earlier, and tie her raft to mine when I still had the chance?]]  
  
* * * 


	7. In the Maze

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 7//In the Maze  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Milos, I thought you had left."  
  
Travis walked closer to Grace and shook his head, as he read from the script, "No, Cilia, I couldn't just leave you with things the way they were."  
  
Grace didn't need to look at her script to know her next actions. She turned her back to Travis and said coldly, "I didn't think you cared."  
  
Travis grabbed Grace's arm, "How can you say that?"  
  
Grace looked into his eyes, surprised by the intensity in them. Travis was a great actor. He was really getting into character. "Because I heard from Natasha..."  
  
"What did you hear from her??"  
  
Grace looked away from his chilling blue eyes. "I heard that you were at Ronda's last night."  
  
"Cilia, I'm engaged to you!" Travis put a hand on her face, guiding her eyes up to met his.  
  
"I'm beginning to think that was nothing but a mistake," Grace said in a stage whisper.  
  
Travis looked down at his script, and Grace knew what Milo's next stage direction was... to kiss Cilia. Grace looked down nervously at her script anyways, reading the words there: (Milos rushes forward, desperate to prove to Cilia and himself that Ronda means nothing to him. He kisses her passionately.)  
  
Travis looked up at Grace and hesitated, then took an unsure step forward. He looked into Grace's wide eyes...  
  
"And they kiss!" Mr. Morris said from where he sat in the first row of the auditorium. "And scene!"  
  
Grace gratefully stepped away from Travis. Travis looked at her shyly. Grace glanced back at him, with the tiniest of smiles.  
  
"Great work, Cilia and Milos!" Mr. Morris said as they walked off the stage. "I think we'll work on Act II, scene 3 now. Ronda, Natasha, on stage!"  
  
Cynthia passed by Grace and Travis as she walked to the stage and gave them a smile. Grace began to sit down in a seat, but noticed Mr. Morris looking over at her.  
  
"Alright, run through your lines, you two, and I'll be back in a few," Mr. Morris called over to Cynthia and the girl who played Natasha: Sarah Grosso. He then looked back at Grace, "Can I talk with you for a second?"  
  
Grace nodded, and followed him out of the auditorium and onto the back entrance steps. She uncertainly turned to him, "What is it?"  
  
"This is your first play, right?" Mr. Morris asked, running a hand over his completely bald head.  
  
Grace nodded, and frowned, "I'm not good, am I?"  
  
"No, you are good," Mr. Morris assured her, "Very good. But, I know how tough it can be for new actors to handle passionate scenes."  
  
"Oh, you mean the kissing?" Grace asked.  
  
Mr. Morris nodded, "I sensed you holding back there. And Travis was reading off you, and that made him hesitate."  
  
"Oh," Grace managed something between a frown and a smile, "I'll try better next time."  
  
"Grace," Mr. Morris smiled softly at her, "It's okay. You don't have to get it right away. Kissing a stranger can be very odd."  
  
"Well, I know Travis," Grace interjected.  
  
Mr. Morris nodded, "Kissing a friend can be even harder. But, just remember... it's Cilia in there. It's Cilia kissing Milos, her fiancé... the man she loves more than anything... the man she's afraid she's losing to someone else... to her best friend."  
  
Grace smiled, and Mr. Morris continued, "So, she would put everything into this kiss. She would want him to kiss her. She would be waiting for this kiss."  
  
Grace nodded, "I get it."  
  
Mr. Morris gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder, "Just remember that. And do Cilia justice."  
  
Mr. Morris went back inside, and Grace hesitated outside, taking a deep breath of the clean fall air. Breathing in and breathing out.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli!"  
  
Eli froze with the refrigerator door halfway open. He looked over at his angry mother.  
  
"I just spoke with Mrs. Gonzales. She said you never turned in the forms for the SATs," Karen said, crossing her arms.  
  
Eli flinched at the name of his counselor. "Yeah, I guess I forgot."  
  
"Eli!" Karen's voice raised another level, "Mrs. Gonzales gave you those forms three weeks ago. All you had to do was fill them out and send them in!"  
  
"I didn't feel like taking it," Eli said, closing the fridge door with a slam.  
  
"The SAT?" Karen exclaimed. "You didn't feel like taking it?" She mocked.  
  
"There's really no reason..." Eli began.  
  
"Eli! You know you need that test for your college applications. It's required!" Karen screeched. "Mrs. Gonzales says you can still take it in January, and that should hopefully be enough time to send in your applications and still be accepted. We'll have to rush the scores, of course."  
  
Eli frowned, "Yeah, I'll take it in January."  
  
[[Eli - Anything to get her off my back.]]  
  
"Eli, you've really screwed yourself here. I thought we decided you'd take them in October, so that way you'd have a choice of being able to take them a second time. But now you don't have that choice!" Karen sighed.  
  
Eli began to walk past his mother to his room.  
  
"Eli!" Karen yelled after him, "Don't you care about your future at all? This kind of behavior is not acceptable!!"  
  
Eli entered his room, slamming the door behind himself.  
  
[[Eli - It's MY future. Why can't they understand that?]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey Cynthia?" Grace called after practice. "Could you give me a ride?"  
  
Cynthia shook her head, "Sorry G, I've got to pick up my little brother at his Boy Scouts meeting. He totally freaks if I'm even a second late."  
  
Travis, standing next to Cynthia, smiled at Grace, "I can give you a ride, if you want."  
  
Grace hesitated, "Okay."  
  
* * *  
  
"I would have called my mom for a ride," Grace said as Travis drove along, "But she just got a new job, and is busy with that."  
  
Travis nodded.  
  
"I could have called my step-dad, I guess," Grace continued, "But I don't know..."  
  
Travis was silent, his blond hair swinging as he bopped his head lightly to the music.  
  
Grace repositioned her backpack on her lap. "Eli and I might be getting a car though, soon. I won't be 16 till May, though, but Eli is always cool about driving me places."  
  
"Eli?" Travis asked, glancing over at Grace.  
  
"Oh," Grace said softly, "He's my stepbrother."  
  
"Oh," Travis nodded, "Is that the guy who dropped you off the other day?"  
  
"Yeah, that's Eli."  
  
Travis looked briefly at her, "I had thought that was your boyfriend..."  
  
Grace felt like she was choking. She looked away out the window. What could she say in reply to that? Grace found her voice and said simply, "That was Eli."  
  
* * *  
  
"What do you think?" Rick asked the next day.  
  
Eli shrugged, "It's nice."  
  
Rick frowned, "It cost a bit more than we intended to spend, but we figured we'd do something nice for you kids." He looked at Eli's passive face with annoyance.  
  
Eli gave a fake cheerful smile, "It's great, dad."  
  
Grace came over from where she had been inspecting the insides of the red 98 Honda. "It's cool."  
  
"Does it drive nice?" Eli asked.  
  
Rick nodded, "It's a beauty."  
  
Eli held out his hand, "Well, then. Keys?"  
  
"Where are you going?" Rick asked, reluctantly handing over the keys.  
  
Eli shrugged, "You know what, dad... I haven't really planned that out yet." Eli walked over to the car, knowing he should high-tail it before Rick started in with a lecture. He stopped and looked back at Grace. "You coming?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I've got play practice in a little while."  
  
"I could drop you off," Eli said, but he already knew Grace wasn't going to come with him. It hurt.  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, that's okay."  
  
[[Eli - It really hurts. She's backing away from me. When's the last time I kissed her? When's the last time we really talked?]]  
  
Jessie, sensing the weirdness between them began to wonder something similar to what Eli was wondering... when was the last time the two of them had been acting like a couple should act?  
  
"Bye," Eli said stonily. He got in the car, starting it up. As he backed down the driveway, he saw Grace going back into the house.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace," Jessie said, following Grace into the house.  
  
Grace turned and Jessie felt Zoe's eyes on them. "Will come to my room with me? I want to talk."  
  
Grace shrugged, "Okay, but only for a bit."  
  
When they reached the top of the attic stairs, Grace spent some time admiring Jessie's new room. She had been so busy with the play lately that she hadn't seen what Jessie had done to the attic.  
  
"So, what's up?" Jessie asked, sitting on her bed.  
  
Grace paused, and shrugged, "Nothing."  
  
"What's going on with you and Eli? Did you break up?" Jessie asked.  
  
Grace didn't respond.  
  
"You did?" Jessie was shocked.  
  
Grace shook her head, "We haven't broken up. We've just been busy."  
  
Jessie frowned and tilted her head a bit, studying Grace. "No, YOU'VE been busy," Jessie said coldly. "You've been too busy for him. He needs you, Grace."  
  
Grace didn't want any of Jessie's protective sister crap. "You don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Jessie glared at her "I know you're causing him pain. I know I see him looking at you and you're always looking away. What changed?"  
  
Grace's eyes were slightly glazed over.  
  
[[Grace - I feel like a walking zombie at home. I'm not really there anymore. Everything seems so cloudy, and distant. The only times I really feel alive is when I'm doing the play. *smiles* I love the play.]]  
  
"You can't keep treating him like this!" Jessie cried when Grace didn't answer. "Eli doesn't deserve this."  
  
"He doesn't," Grace agreed. She looked over at Jessie, really seeing her for the first time in a long while. "How's school going?"  
  
Jessie, shocked by an actual question about herself, stumbled for an answer. "Uh, it was bad for a while, but now it's good..." Jessie smiled, thinking of Katie.  
  
"I'm glad," Grace said, and turned.  
  
Before Jessie could call out, Grace had already left the room.  
  
* * *  
  
"Did you want to eat here or go somewhere?" Eli asked at lunch the next day.  
  
Grace shrugged, "It doesn't matter."  
  
Eli sighed, and Grace didn't seem to notice. He headed out for their car, Grace walking silently besides him.  
  
Eli sat in the driver's seat, and Grace in the passenger's seat. Eli drove to the closest fast food place, and parked.  
  
A few minutes after they had arrived at Burger King, Grace looked up in surprise, blinking. "We're here?" She turned and looked over at Eli. Eli sat so still. "Eli?"  
  
"You missed our gig on Friday," Eli said.  
  
Grace's face twisted up as she thought about Friday... she had had practice and then had gone to the mall with Cynthia. "Oh," Grace said, "I guess I forgot about it."  
  
"I guess you did."  
  
"Are you mad?" Grace asked, studying him.  
  
Eli wouldn't look at her. "Not mad... not really. I'm just wondering..."  
  
"Wondering what?"  
  
Eli looked over, his hazel eyes slightly bloodshot and watery. "I'm wondering where my Grace went."  
  
"Oh," Grace said after a pause. She unbuckled her seatbelt, "I'm hungry."  
  
"Grace!" Eli called after her, but Grace was already heading across the parking lot.  
  
[[Eli - Where did she go? Where is she? How can I get her back?]]  
  
* * * 


	8. Setting the Pace

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 8//Setting the Pace  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Jessie doesn't want to go. And Grace says she's too old for it... so will you take me?" Zoe pleaded.  
  
Jake looked down at his daughter, "You really want to go trick or treating?"  
  
Zoe nodded, "Of course."  
  
Jake opened the oven door, checking on the french fries.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Okay, honey, I guess," Jake agreed. "But remember we don't eat the candy until we can check it."  
  
Zoe nodded, smiling as her wish had been granted. "I know!" She twirled in a circle, "I'm going to be a ballerina."  
  
"Maybe you should pick a costume you can wear a coat with honey. It may be cold," Jake said offhandedly. But Zoe was already dancing away into the living room.  
  
Grace, who had been sitting at the kitchen table all this time, finally was alone with her father. "So, have you talked to Tiffany?"  
  
Jake tensed, and turned around, looking at his eldest daughter. "No, I haven't."  
  
Grace frowned, "How can you not have talked to her? She's having your baby."  
  
Jake sighed, "Grace, it's complicated."  
  
Grace stood up, pushing her chair back in with a fury. "Why is it always 'complicated'?" She asked accusingly. "Why can't you just be in a marriage that doesn't end up with a divorce or a separation? What's wrong with you?!"  
  
Jake gaped for words.  
  
Grace stormed out of the room.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace?" Eli asked out the open car window as he parked in Jake's driveway.  
  
Grace came forward, out of the shadows of the porch. She quickly got into the car. "Thanks," She said to Eli.  
  
Eli nodded, and began backing out of the driveway, "So... you want to talk about it?"  
  
Grace pointedly turned up the volume of the radio. Eli reached over and flipped the radio off. Grace scrunched back in her seat as silence engulfed the car.  
  
"Grace?" Eli asked.  
  
[[Grace - No, I don't want to talk about it. NO, I don't want to talk about it! NO, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!]]  
  
"What's happening with us, Grace?" Eli asked, sensing she didn't want to talk about whatever had made her call Eli to come pick her up from her dad's.  
  
Grace thought about faking ignorance. Pretending she didn't realize that their relationship was quickly going downhill. But, what was the point of pretending? "I don't know," She said sullenly.  
  
"Well, can we try and figure it out?" Eli pleaded. He glanced over at her.  
  
"Eli..." Grace sighed, turning her head to the window. "I've got a lot to deal with right now."  
  
"But, if we figure out what's going on between us, then that's one less thing for you to deal with," Eli said.  
  
[[Grace - *shakes head* I don't want to talk to him about us. *looks down* Because I'm afraid if we do talk about it... then... *looks up, tearfully* Then, we'll break up.]]  
  
"Eli," Grace's voice was full of heartbreak. "Please, just... give me some more time."  
  
Eli nodded, but didn't really like that idea. He turned on the radio angrily. Grace quickly put a hand up to her cheek to catch a fallen tear.  
  
* * *  
  
"Cilia, I'm engaged to you!" Travis cried at play rehearsal.  
  
"I'm beginning to think that was nothing but a mistake," Grace said.  
  
This time there was no hesitation, no nervousness. Grace was completely Cilia at that moment. And Cilia desperately wanted Milos to kiss her. Cilia needed Milos to kiss her... so he could prove that he still loved Cilia.  
  
Travis stepped forward, grasping Grace's face gently in his hands. He leaned forward, and Grace closed her eyes as his lips met hers. Cilia got her kiss.  
  
* * *  
  
"You guys were amazing!" Cynthia cried after rehearsals had finished.  
  
Grace smiled, knowing that they had indeed been great. She and Travis just seemed to work together very well. They had chemistry or whatever you wanted to call it.  
  
"Did you like the kiss?" Travis asked with a wide smile, putting an arm around Grace's shoulders.  
  
Cynthia grinned, "The kiss was very believable. You know... I almost feel bad that Ronda is going to steal Milos away from Cilia."  
  
Grace jokingly pushed Travis towards Cynthia, "Take him! He's all yours."  
  
Cynthia grabbed onto Travis' arm, "Don't mind if I do."  
  
Grace grabbed onto Travis' other arm, laughing. "You know what? I changed my mind."  
  
Travis closed his eyes and faked pain as the two girls yanked him back and forth between them. "Why can't the guy choose?" He asked, but was ignored.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace... what are you doing here?" Lily asked as Grace and Eli came into the house. "I thought your dad had you for the next two days."  
  
Eli backed away into the garage, leaving them alone. Grace faced her mother, "I asked Eli to drive me to practice and pick me up. I just can't stay with Dad anymore..."  
  
"Why not?" Lily asked.  
  
"Because I hate him," Grace said. She walked away while her mother was too shocked to come up with a response.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick drew Lily closer to him on the bed, "Want to talk about it?"  
  
Lily shook her head, "I'm not even sure where to start."  
  
Rick was silent, and Lily continued, "Grace... is just not Grace anymore. I don't know what's wrong with her. I don't understand. She walks around here like a ghost, rarely talking. She always looks so tired."  
  
"Well, she does have a lot to deal with right now," Rick said gently, "With Jake and Tiffany splitting..."  
  
Lily nodded, "Yeah, but I get the feeling there's more to it than that..." She turned her head a bit so she could look him in the eyes. "Have you noticed the way she and Eli have been acting lately?"  
  
Rick paused. He had noticed. But he didn't know what it meant. "You think they have broken up?" Rick asked.  
  
Lily shrugged, "I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know my daughter, anymore."  
  
"Do you think..." Rick trailed off.  
  
"What?" Lily asked.  
  
"Do you think Grace might benefit from some... help?"  
  
Lily was confused, "I don't think she wants my help."  
  
Rick shook his head, "No, I mean... like a psychiatrist."  
  
"Oh," Lily got it. "Uh... I don't know. I'm not sure Grace would agree to see someone."  
  
"It doesn't hurt to try."  
  
* * *  
  
"This wasn't my idea," Grace said sternly.  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld gave a slight nod, "But your parents didn't force you to come?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "Well, they didn't exactly force me... but I knew they wanted me to come."  
  
"But you could have chosen not to come here," Dr. Rosenfeld pushed her.  
  
Grace nodded, and squirmed a bit in leather chair. "I thought psychiatrists had those chairs that you could lie down on."  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld smiled, "I think those went out with shag carpeting and bell bottoms."  
  
Grace gave a smile in return, but she really didn't feel like smiling. She had been surprised when her mother had suggested Grace go to a shrink. Grace didn't think she had any serious problems, and she didn't really feel like talking about the problems she did have with some complete stranger. But, Grace could tell that her mother thought that a shrink would be the magical answer to fixing whatever ailed Grace. As if.  
  
"So, do you want to talk?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace looked over at him, "I thought you ask me questions... and I answer."  
  
"It can work that way, I guess."  
  
"So, are you going to ask me anything?" Grace asked when he was silent.  
  
"What do you think I should ask you?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked, leaning back in his chair.  
  
Grace shrugged, "I don't know... What's bothering me, I guess."  
  
"What's bothering you?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace shrugged again. "I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?"  
  
"Life... I guess," Grace said.  
  
"Life?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Everything in your life is bothering you?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "That's not what I meant."  
  
"What did you mean?" Dr. Rosenfeld urged her.  
  
"I meant... parts of my life are bothering me," Grace sighed.  
  
"And what parts are those?"  
  
"Uh, well... my father might be getting a divorce," Grace said after a while.  
  
"A divorce... from your mother?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "No. He and my mother already divorced last year. And at the beginning of the summer my mom and my dad both got remarried to other people."  
  
"Tell me about them..."  
  
"My stepparents?"  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld nodded, "Yes."  
  
"Well, my mom married Rick. She started dating him after my parents separated. And my dad married Tiffany... he started dating her while my parents were still married. At least, that's what I think. No one has ever come out and told me that, though. My dad married Tiffany after he found out she was pregnant. And now..." Grace paused, and Rosenfeld gave her an encouraging nod. "And now Tiffany left my dad and went to her mother's in Madison. And my father doesn't even seem to care."  
  
"How does that make you feel?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "I don't know."  
  
"You don't know?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace sighed, "I... guess I'm upset."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I really started to like Tiffany, and..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"And I don't why my father has so many relationship problems," Grace continued, "I don't understand why he keeps screwing things up."  
  
* * *  
  
Jake picked up the phone. Then put it back down. Then he picked it up, and quickly punched in the numbers. He put the phone to his ear.  
  
"Hello?" An unfamiliar female voice answered.  
  
"Is Tiffany there?" Jake asked.  
  
"Who is this?" The voice became filled with suspicion.  
  
"This is her husband," Jake said coldly.  
  
The woman clicked her tongue... as her suspicions were confirmed. "I'm sorry, but I'm sure Tiffany doesn't want to speak to you, Jake."  
  
"Could you ask her anyways?" Jake said.  
  
"I would, but she's not here right now," The woman said. She paused, "This is Sherry, Tiffany's mother. I wanted to tell you I was sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding ceremony... but it looks like I didn't miss anything important, after all."  
  
"Could.." Jake began, but the phone clicked dead.  
  
[[Jake - That's just great.]]  
  
* * * 


	9. Echos that Remain

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 9//Echos that Remain  
  
Okay, don't hate me too much for who returns in this chapter. I swear she's not going to be doing any damage! In fact, with the way things are going with Eli and Grace right now... I don't know if even she could make it much worse. Thanks for reading & reviewing, as always!!!!  
  
P.s. I'm having too much fun with taking storylines from the show and twisting them. Like with Grace being in therapy with Dr. Rosenfeld, instead of Jessie.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Tell me about your stepbrother, Eli."  
  
Grace set the snow globe she had been studying back on Dr. Rosenfeld's desk. She leaned back in her chair, "What do you want to know?"  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld shrugged, "What do you want to tell me?"  
  
"I don't know what to tell you," Grace admitted.  
  
"And why's that?" Dr. Rosenfeld encouraged her.  
  
"Because I don't know... where we're at, right now," Grace sighed.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Grace squirmed in the leather chair, "Because I... things are complicated right now."  
  
"Complicated?" Rosenfeld echoed.  
  
[[Grace - *looks in camera, very upset* Oh, God... I sound like my father.]]  
  
"We have a weird relationship... with our parents being married."  
  
"So, you're dating Eli?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace looked up, "Didn't my mother tell you all this?"  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld shook his head, "No. I wanted for you to be the one to tell me everything. So, tell me about your relationship with Eli... when did it start?"  
  
Grace settled back into the chair, and began her and Eli's story.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, Zoe!" Lily complained as she came into Zoe's room to find her with her Halloween candy all dumped over her bed. "How much of this have you eaten already tonight?"  
  
Zoe proudly held up a large pile of candy wrappers.  
  
Lily began tossing the candy into the discarded bag. "That's enough for you, tonight!"  
  
Zoe rolled her eyes, and scrambled off the bed. Lily heard her footsteps running up the attic steps, obviously to bug Jessie.  
  
Lily sat down on the bed with a soft sigh, and sorting through the collection of candy, finding a snickers bar. She eagerly tore open the package.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Lily jumped guiltily, and looked over to find Rick in the doorway. She reluctantly admitted to 'testing' Zoe's candy. Rick smiled knowingly, and came in, sitting next to her on the bed and joining Lily in the candy testing.  
  
"So?" Rick asked, with a mouthful of M & Ms. "How are you?"  
  
"Fine," Lily said... a bit too quickly.  
  
"This Grace thing is really getting to you, huh?" Rick said, wrapping an arm around her.  
  
Lily shrugged, "This Grace thing... this Jake thing... this job thing."  
  
"It's not going well?" Rick asked.  
  
Lily shrugged once again, grabbing a Hershey's Kiss out of the candy pile. "I think it's going good. But, Les is... Les. It's hard to tell with him. He doesn't like to let his feelings show."  
  
"I'm sure he loves you," Rick said, kissing her forehead. He paused and then added, "But-- not in the way I love you, of course."  
  
Lily smiled, "I hope so. It's been so long since I've had a real job... so many years since I've had someone other than Judy to impress."  
  
"You're not worried about impressing me?" Rick joked.  
  
Lily grinned, tossing the silver Hershey's wrapper at him. "Not anymore," She teased.  
  
Rick grinned back, and leaned in, and they kissed.  
  
Zoe came back down from the attic, after having been kicked out because Jessie had to talk to Katie on the phone. She gaped at her mother and Rick making out on her bed... and... "Have you been eating my candy!?" She cried, shocked.  
  
Rick looked over at Zoe, and then back at Lily, "Let's get her... she knows too much."  
  
Lily nodded, and the two of them advanced on Zoe. Zoe laughed and danced out of the way of their outstretched arms.  
  
* * *  
  
Eli looked down at the papers set before him. His parents had gotten the idea that Eli should now devote all his free time to filling out applications for colleges he didn't even want to go to. And then there were the essays he was supposed to write to go along with the applications.... essays with questions like 'Why do you want to attend this college?' or 'What do you think are your greatest achievements?'  
  
[[Eli - *holding papers, frowns* How about I write 'I don't want to go to your stupid college, I'm only filling this out because my parents are pushing for me to become someone I don't want to be. I couldn't care less if you accept me or not... in fact, you'd be doing me a favor by not accepting me, because then I wouldn't have to explain to my parents why I don't want to attend your school.'... *looks up into camera* Do you think that will get me in? *half-smiles*]]  
  
Eli sighed, and dropped his pencil onto the stack of papers. He got up and grabbed his coat off a chair. He slipped it on and then paused at the door to his garage room. He listened... but didn't hear anything. Hopefully his father was otherwise engaged and wouldn't notice Eli slipping out.  
  
Eli just had to get out. He couldn't stay in that room with those stupid papers any longer.  
  
[[Eli - *jokingly* Have I mentioned that I don't want to go to college? Did you catch that? *smiles, but then his smile fades. He stands up, and leaves.*]]  
  
Eli exited out of the garage, grateful for his and Grace's car. This way he didn't have to ask his father permission to escape.  
  
* * *  
  
"So, what's your relationship with Eli like now?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace sighed. This was the last thing she wanted to discuss with a stranger. "I don't know."  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld wasn't buying it, "It's not a question of 'knowing'... just tell me about what your relationship is like now... the facts."  
  
"The facts?" Grace gave a grim smile, "Uh, how about I haven't kissed him in over a week... make that two weeks."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Why not?" Grace repeated and shrugged, "I don't know. I've just been dealing with so many other things."  
  
"Like what?" Rosenfeld urged her.  
  
"Well, my father and Tiffany, and the play..." Grace replied.  
  
"The play?"  
  
Grace nodded, "I've got a main role in our high school's play. I play Cilia. We meet quite often for rehearsals, and that's been keeping me busy."  
  
"So, you haven't seen Eli?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked, with a slight raise of his eyebrows.  
  
Grace shook her head, "No... of course, I've seen him. I mean, we live in the same house for most of the week."  
  
"But, something's been keeping you from being close to him?"  
  
"I guess," Grace admitted.  
  
"And what's doing that?" Rosenfeld pushed.  
  
Grace sighed, putting a hand to her forehead, "If I knew that... would I be here?"  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld smiled, "So, you think you're here because of your problems with Eli?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "I don't know."  
  
"Well, why do you think your mother wanted you to come here?"  
  
Grace looked down at her hands. "I don't know."  
  
"You don't think it's because of your problems with Eli?"  
  
"No... not entirely," Grace smiled, "I think she wanted me to come here because of all of my problems..."  
  
"Which would be?" Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace looked up at him, "You want me to list all my problems?"  
  
Dr. Rosenfeld nodding, putting on a serious face. "It would make my job easier," He joked.  
  
Grace smiled.  
  
* * *  
  
Jessie paused in the doorway to the kitchen. Rick and Lily were talking, and didn't see her yet.  
  
"I've got to go pick up Grace from the shrink," Lily said, collecting her keys from the kitchen table.  
  
"Alright," Rick said, drawing her in for a goodbye kiss.  
  
Lily looked at him as she pulled away, "Are you sure Dr. Rosenfeld is any good?"  
  
Rick nodded, "He came highly recommended."  
  
Lily sighed, ready to launch into a statement of her worries over Grace, but then caught site of Jessie in the doorway. "Hi Jessie!" She said a little too cheerfully. "Have you got anything you want me to pick up from the grocery store?"  
  
Jessie shook her head, and Lily exited out the back door. Jessie turned to her father, her forehead scrunched up a bit, "Grace is in therapy?"  
  
Rick sighed, and nodded.  
  
Jessie walked further into the kitchen, "But... I mean... what's wrong with her?"  
  
Rick lightly tapped her on the head, "Sometimes people just like to have someone to talk to."  
  
Jessie nodded, and opened her mouth to say something else, but Rick was already on his way into the living room.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli?"  
  
Eli turned, and his eyes widened in surprise. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Carla smiled at him, "You looked shocked."  
  
"Well, I wake up looking shocked or something," Eli flabbergasted.  
  
Carla smiled and rolled her eyes, snapping her gum all at the same instant. Eli took his first really good look at her, and saw that she looked good... she looked healthy. "How'd rehab go?" Eli asked.  
  
Carla shrugged; clearly not open to talk on that subject. She sat down next to Eli on the coffee bar's couch. "How are things going with you?"  
  
It was Eli's turn to shrug.  
  
"How's Grace?" Carla said pointedly. Eli could tell Carla meant how was 'him and Grace'... as in how was their relationship.  
  
"Okay, I guess," Eli said, sipping his cappuccino.  
  
Carla studied him, her eyes x-raying into him. "How are things really?" She asked.  
  
Eli sighed.  
  
* * * 


	10. Nice Day to Start Again

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading, as always. : ) Lol, Netty! I may be able to write about relationships, but I'm no expert... not even close! Hehehehe... guys are too complicated to comprehend, even for me! That's why I like the guys in my stories, who I can make do whatever I want.... hey, maybe in this chapter, Eli should run away and married a girl named Brittany (me!).... lol. j/k.  
  
P.s. Sarah Grosso is a different Sarah than the one that was Grace's friend in this story. Just don't want you to get confused! Sarah Grosso is actually a character from Once and Again. She was Katie's friend/something more?...  
  
Chapter 10//Nice Day to Start Again  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Have you seen Eli?" Jessie asked, as she stood in Grace's open bedroom door.  
  
Grace looked up from homework and shook her head, "I haven't seen him lately."  
  
"Oh," Jessie said. She paused and then entered Grace's room further. "So, are things getting better between you two?"  
  
Grace looked at her in surprise. "I don't know, Jessie. I really haven't seen him lately."  
  
[[Grace - *looks at camera defensively* I haven't!]]  
  
"Oh," Jessie paused, trying to find the right way to say this, "I thought that maybe you being in therapy might mean..."  
  
Grace's eyes narrowed.  
  
"...that things would become better between you two," Jessie finished quickly.  
  
"They told you about it?" Grace asked, irritated.  
  
Jessie shook her head, "They didn't say anything to me... I just overheard them talking about it."  
  
Grace glared at her, "No one was supposed to find out."  
  
"It was an accident," Jessie said uncomfortably.  
  
"Whatever," Grace snipped, and turned her eyes back to her math homework.  
  
"So," Jessie was too curious to leave this topic alone, "What do you talk to... your therapist about?"  
  
Grace looked up, raising her eyebrows, "About you, of course..."  
  
Jessie's eyes widened and Grace finally smiled, "I'm kidding."  
  
Jessie relaxed into a smile.  
  
"I mean, it's not all about you," Grace teased. She sighed then, as she thought about her therapy sessions.  
  
"Do you think it's helping you any?" Jessie asked.  
  
[[Grace - *shrugs* I don't know... *shifts in chair*... It is nice to just be able to talk... about anything, and everything.]]  
  
Grace shrugged, "I don't know. It's nice to have someone to talk to about everything, I guess."  
  
Jessie smiled and nodded, "Yeah, that's what I thought. I wish I had someone to talk to sometimes."  
  
"I can give you his number," Grace joked.  
  
Jessie was silent for a moment. "I guess I just feel invisible around here sometimes."  
  
"You do?" Grace asked.  
  
Jessie avoided Grace's eyes, "I just... you and Eli, when you were better... you were so wrapped up in your relationship. And Dad was so wrapped up in Eli's life. And I guess I just felt like there was no one there... for me."  
  
Grace smiled softly, "Yeah, I see what you mean."  
  
Jessie looked up at Grace and smiled back. She began to turn back to the doorway, but Grace called out, stopping her. "Jessie."  
  
[[Grace - Talking... is just a release, I guess. It clears your mind, and gives you space to really think...]]  
  
"Want to talk?" Grace asked, patting the spot next to her on the bed.  
  
Jessie's face collapsed into a warm smile. She came back into the room, closing the door behind her. "You mean, about me?" She asked as she sat on the bed.  
  
Grace smiled. "Yup... I need more details to tell my therapist," She joked.  
  
Jessie laughed, "What about me?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "What's new?"  
  
"Well... I made a friend," Jessie said. "She's really cool. Her name is Katie Singer. She's a sophomore... like you."  
  
"I know Katie," Grace said.  
  
Jessie was surprised, "You do?"  
  
Grace nodded, "I'm not friends with her really, but she's cool."  
  
Jessie smiled, "She is. I just..."  
  
"What?" Grace encouraged her, suddenly feeling very much like Dr. Rosenfeld.  
  
[[Grace - *rolls eyes, and laughs warmly and freely*]]  
  
"She already has this best friend. You know her, she's in your play," Jessie said.  
  
"Cynthia?" Grace asked.  
  
"No, Sarah Grosso," Jessie shrugged. "I don't know... I just get this weird vibe from Sarah."  
  
"Like what?" Grace prodded. Dr. Rosenfeld had certainly been rubbing off on her. Pretty soon she was going to be asking Jessie to tell her exactly 'how that makes her feel'.  
  
Jessie sighed, looking down at her knees, "Like... just that she doesn't like me very much."  
  
"She's probably just afraid that you'll steal Katie away from her," Grace suggested.  
  
Jessie nodded-- that was her suspicion, too-- she looked over at Grace, "But I don't want to steal anyone from anyone."  
  
Grace looked at her sympathically. "Yeah, it sounds like a weird position to be in."  
  
Jessie sat and thought for a moment, "It's weird, too... like Katie's other friends, like Tara and Jillian, are... completely different than Sarah. Like, they accepted me right away, and now they're my friends, too. But, Sarah..."  
  
"Give it time," was Grace's best advice.  
  
"Yeah," Jessie's hand played with the laces on her shoes. "I hope Sarah will... change, because I don't want to lose Katie... as a friend."  
  
"I'm sure you won't," Grace assured her. She glanced back down at her math book and Jessie realized she was keeping Grace from doing her work.  
  
"Yeah, so... thanks," Jessie said, getting up from the bed.  
  
Grace smiled, "No problem."  
  
Jessie paused in the doorway, "No, I mean it... thanks, Grace, really." She smiled genuinely at her stepsister and left.  
  
Grace nodded, understanding.  
  
[[Grace - Talking to someone else about your problems... just helps. It does... It can help you see what you need to do... *sad look*]]  
  
* * *  
  
"So, have you talked to him?"  
  
Grace sighed. They were getting to the hard stuff right away this session. She looked over at Dr. Rosenfeld and shook her head, "Not yet."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"There just hasn't been the right time..." Grace explained.  
  
"You're not putting it off?" Rosenfeld asked, observing her carefully.  
  
Grace looked away, her eyes flitting over the rows of books on the bookcase in his office. She looked back at the doctor and his eyes were still on her. She caved, "Okay... maybe I'm putting it off... a little."  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
Grace let out a deep breath.  
  
"Is it because you're afraid of how he might take it?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.  
  
Grace shook her head, "No... I already know how Eli's going to take it."  
  
"And how's that?"  
  
Grace sighed, "Bad."  
  
* * *  
  
"Have you seen Grace yet?" Eli asked.  
  
Carla took a big bite of her green apple and shook her head, "No! I totally thought I'd run into her at school, but she hasn't been around."  
  
"She's doing the play, so she's been busy with that," Eli explained. He leaned back in the park bench. It was really nice for a November day. The sun was out, warming everything. The tree leaves were changing into brilliant oranges and reds... It was just one of those beautiful days that just seem to come out of nowhere. They come along unexpectedly, and that just makes the day that much more special. Because, it was a surprise. A pleasant surprise.  
  
"Grace is a drama geek?" Carla cried, laughing. The drama people weren't very well thought of at Upton Sinclair. It was almost as bad as saying you were in the chess club.  
  
"Hey!" Eli said, getting defensive.  
  
Carla took another bite of her apple and said when she finished chewing, "It's nothing personal. I've just never been one for school extra- curriculars. I just don't see the point of them... you know?"  
  
"I was in Basketball," Eli reminded her.  
  
Carla smiled, "You *were* in Basketball... you're not anymore, are you?"  
  
Eli shook his head, "I kind of dropped out this year."  
  
"See!" Carla cried, "You get the pointlessness of school-sponsored sports and clubs and crap."  
  
Eli shrugged, "Actually I kind of enjoyed it... when I was in it. It was fun."  
  
Carla frowned, her argument having been torn apart. She shrugged and took another bite of her apple, "So, why didn't you join this year?"  
  
"Well... I was too busy with my band, and with stuff..." Eli said.  
  
"With Grace?" Carla supplied.  
  
Eli nodded, "Yeah, I guess. But it was more than that."  
  
"Oh," Carla thought about it, "So... you drop Basketball and have lots of time to spend with her, and then Grace starts up the play and is too busy for you... and now you're having problems."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Well," Carla smiled smugly, "Have you ever wondered if the two of you are on the same page?"  
  
Eli blinked, "What does that mean?"  
  
"Well... it just sounds like one of you cares more about the relationship than the other," Carla looked pointedly at Eli, awaiting a reaction.  
  
Eli frowned, and looked back at her, "And how would you know anything about mine and Grace's relationship? What gives you the right to make... judgments?"  
  
Carla wasn't faulted by his comments. She smiled, and took another bite of her apple, "I'm just trying to help."  
  
Eli was silent.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli?" Grace knocked on his opened garage door. Eli's music was up loud and Grace moved further into the room, and shut his door behind her. She waited until he turned and saw her standing there.  
  
"Grace!" Eli was surprised, pleasantly surprised.  
  
[[Eli - I've been kind of feeling like she was avoiding me lately. I know she's trying to work out whatever it is she needs to work out, but... I mean, isn't she my girlfriend?]]  
  
"Hey," Grace said with a soft smile. Her thoughts were clearer than they had been in weeks... and she knew what she needed to do.  
  
"So, uh, how's the play going?" Eli asked, for lack of anything better to say.  
  
"Oh, good, really good," Grace said.  
  
[[Grace - This is hard... so hard.]]  
  
Eli turned down his music and crossed the room to her. Grace watched him, with love in her eyes. She loved him, she really did. She looked at him now, and she saw him... she looked over every detail... his torn jeans, his light blue shirt with the dark blue lettering. His still tanned skin. His beautiful hands that created beautiful music... his beautiful hands that caressed her face, and touched her back when they kissed.  
  
[[Grace - *sighs*]]  
  
His... perfect face... the strong chin, the adorable nose... those eyes. Those eyes that saw into her... that saw her. Those lips.... those lips that made her feel so.... amazing. Those lips that joined with her lips and connected the two of them, together, as one. His hair, oh his hair... sometimes stiff because of too much gel, but always there for Grace to run her fingers through...  
  
"Grace?" Eli looked at her, concerned. There were tears in her eyes. He reached out, ready to pull her into his arms, to pull her close to his body, and to comfort her.  
  
But Grace held up a hand, stopping him. "Eli..."  
  
Eli didn't want her to speak, he was afraid of what was going to come. While Grace was pausing, searching for the words, Eli surged forward, pressing his lips against hers. It had been so long since they had just kissed each other.  
  
But Grace didn't kiss him back.  
  
Eli pulled back, looking into her troubled eyes, "Grace?"  
  
Grace's tears were overflowing now. They made two separate trails down her cheeks. "Eli, I... I just can't."  
  
"It's okay," Eli tried to assure her, "We don't have to figure things out now. You can still have more time."  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, you don't understand... I can't... I can't be in a relationship anymore."  
  
"What?" Eli choked on the word. Suddenly he was finding it hard to breathe.  
  
"Eli, I'm just not ready for something this serious... I'm just too young to be so, committed," Grace mumbled.  
  
"Grace, we've never been like that!" Eli insisted, "It's never been about commitments or seriousness... we've just been being a couple... we've just been a couple..."  
  
Grace looked at him slowly, "But, Eli, don't you see? Can't you see how committed we are to each other? We live, breath, sleep each other. We live together..."  
  
"Our parents live together," Eli interjected.  
  
"It's the same thing, though," Grace said.  
  
"So, your idea is to just give up..." Eli sighed.  
  
"I'm not giving up," Grace said softly, "I'm letting go."  
  
"But.... why?" Eli asked, his voice breaking on the words. "Don't you love me?"  
  
"Of course I do!" Grace cried, "I love you more than anything else in the world, but Eli... I can't do that anymore... I need to take a break, so I can just be... me."  
  
"You can be 'you' and date me... at the same time."  
  
Grace shook her head, "Please... just let me... go..."  
  
Eli's eyes slowly filled with tears. "Go where? I'll see you every day."  
  
"Just let me go... on by myself," Grace said, regretting the words.  
  
[[Grace - Am I making a stupid stupid stupid mistake????]]  
  
Eli was silent. Grace was hurt more by his silence than by any of his words could do. She moved past him, and hesitantly walked out his door. Eli collapsed on his bed, and wondered... just wondered....  
  
* * * 


	11. Whats Love got to do with it?

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Woo-hoo. Thanks for reading & reviewing everyone!!! I'm not sure exactly what's going to happen with Eli and Grace's relationship... but I have some ideas. P.s. Yes, Netty, that was Eric Stoltz (who played Mr. Dimitri) in Rules of Attraction... I haven't seen the movie but I heard he played a "creepy teacher" in that movie too. Hehee.  
  
Chapter 11//Whats Love got to do with it?  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Uh... let's see..." Jake squinted down at the paper in his hand, trying to read his own handwriting.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes and grabbed the paper from him, "Eggs, milk, bread, cheese, frozen pizzas, pancake mix..."  
  
Zoe, eager to hit up the candy aisle- as her Halloween candy had already diminished- offered to go get the groceries that would be in aisle three... the candy/cookies/good stuff aisle. Jake, trying to be the good Dad, agreed, although he wasn't too sure they needed anything from that aisle. Still, he couldn't help but smile as Zoe ran off, her long brown hair flying behind her.  
  
[[Jake - They're like jewels... just perfect rubies and diamonds... sparkling and shimmering... and just beautiful. And they're mine... my children. I made them. *pauses, thoughtful* Did I tell you I have another kid on the way....?]]  
  
Grace began pushing the cart down the first aisle, and Jake trailed behind her, still lost in thought.  
  
[[Jake - *hand over chin*...And did I tell you that my pregnant wife is currently living in another state and has no plans of coming back?]]  
  
"Which brand?" Grace asked, holding up two boxes of pancake mix.  
  
Jake looked up, and shrugged. "You choose."  
  
[[Jake - I love Tiffany... I do. That just makes this so much harder.]]  
  
* * *  
  
Zoe was debating over a Snickers bar and a bag of Reese's Pieces when a familiar voice caught her attention. Her head snapped up and she looked, unbelieving, down the aisle.  
  
"I'm totally craving chocolate... chocolate and pickles..."  
  
"Together?"  
  
"No, not together," That familiar voice said, laughing, "At least not yet."  
  
An elderly lady with an overflowing cart moved out of the way, and Zoe's eyes practically bugged out of her face as she now saw the face that belonged to the voice.... Tiffany!  
  
"Tiffany!" Zoe cried, dropping the forgotten candy back onto the shelf and rushing down the aisle towards Tiffany.  
  
Tiffany's eyes widened herself, and she smiled surprised at Zoe, "Hi honey."  
  
The woman with Tiffany nudged her and Tiffany blinked, "Oh, Zoe, this is my sister Riley. She didn't come to the wedding or you would have already met her...." Tiffany trailed off, "Is your father here? Or are you here with your mom?"  
  
"With my dad," Zoe confirmed. "He's with the cart."  
  
Riley's eyes widened and she looked at Tiffany to catch Tiffany's reaction.  
  
Tiffany forced a smile, "Let's go see if we can find him, shall we?"  
  
Zoe smiled, not realizing how much it pained Tiffany to say those words. She threw her small arms around her stepmother... which was hard to do with Tiffany's prominent pregnant belly. "I'm glad you're back, Tiffany!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Well, do you want large eggs or medium?" Grace asked, looking down at the cartons.  
  
Jake shrugged, "Just pick something..."  
  
[[Jake - I wonder a lot... about...]]  
  
"Jake?"  
  
[[Jake - ...Tiffany...]]  
  
Jake turned around, and Grace turned too. They looked at Tiffany in surprise. "What... are you doing back?" Jake mumbled.  
  
Tiffany sighed, pulling on a strand of her hair.  
  
[[Jake - She's gotten so... big. That's my baby in there...]]  
  
Riley looked at Jake, seeing her sister's husband in person for the first time. She introduced herself as Tiffany's sister, and Jake managed a quick 'hi' in her direction.  
  
"Tiff?" Jake asked, "How come you didn't call? How come you didn't let me know you were back?"  
  
"I just... needed some space and some time to myself, Jake," Tiffany said, looking up at him.  
  
"So... are you back? For good?" Jake asked.  
  
Tiffany smiled a bit, "I'm not really sure on that... yet."  
  
"Oh," Jake said, not sure himself.  
  
[[Jake - But, what does this mean?]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, Grace!" Cynthia called out as Grace entered the cafeteria.  
  
Grace walked over to the table, and sat down. "Hey," She said to Cynthia and Travis.  
  
Cynthia smiled, "I thought you had a different lunch hour... I never see you in here."  
  
Grace shrugged, setting her backpack on the table, "I usually go out to lunch."  
  
"Oh," Cynthia paused, "With Eli?"  
  
Grace nodded. She had kind of told Cynthia about her relationship with Eli, but had also kind of not... at the same time. She had basically avoided the subject of Eli with a fury.  
  
[[Grace - *troubled, thoughtful look*]]  
  
"Ready for the performance?" Travis asked.  
  
Grace sighed, "I guess." Their first performance was this Friday. Grace knew her lines inside and out, and the dress rehearsals had been going fine, but she was still nervous.  
  
"Isn't that your stepsister?" Cynthia asked, pointing at a table across the lunch room.  
  
Grace looked up and saw Jessie in the midst of a crowd. Her stepsister was flourishing under the attention-- her face was lit up by a big smile, and her hands were moving animatedly as she talked with a large group of guys and girls. Grace saw Katie was also in the group, listening attentively to Jessie's words. "Yeah, that's Jessie."  
  
Travis looked now too, "So, she is Eli's sister?"  
  
Grace nodded, "Yup, that's my other step-sibling... and now I'm getting a new half-sibling in a month or so."  
  
"Your mom's pregnant?" Cynthia asked, munching on a carrot.  
  
Grace shook her head, "My father's new wife."  
  
"So, both of your parents are remarried?" Travis asked.  
  
Grace nodded, and opened her mouth to say something else, but felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and yet another surprise awaited her. "Carla!"  
  
Carla grinned, "Hey." She slunk down on the table's bench next to Grace. "I've been trying to run into you for a while now... but you've been hiding yourself quite well."  
  
Grace blinked, "Oh, yeah, I've been busy..."  
  
Carla stole a carrot from Cynthia's lunch and turned back to Grace, "You're not mad at me for the whole kissing Eli thing, are you? Because you know I didn't mean anything by it."  
  
Grace took a deep breath, and glanced over at Cynthia and Travis who were busy trying not to stare at Carla. Grace looked at Travis, more specifically, especially as Carla continued...  
  
"Like, I would never steal Eli from you... I'm not like that," Carla finished.  
  
Grace looked away from Travis... and back at Carla. "I know," She said quickly.  
  
"I was talking to Eli, and he said the two of you were having problems," Carla said with real worry in her tone.  
  
Grace nodded, "Uh, well..." She snuck another look at Travis, who was looking at his plate. She had never told Travis that she was dating-- or make that-- had been dating Eli.  
  
[[Grace - But, I'm sure he gets it now...]]  
  
"Yeah, we broke up," Grace mumbled. Carla's mouth dropped open and Grace quickly stood up before Carla could come up with a reply. "I've got to... go to the library."  
  
As she walked away, Grace heard Carla say conversationally to Cynthia and Travis, "So are you Grace's new friends?"  
  
* * *  
  
Grace wandered outside. She didn't feel like going into the stuffy library... especially since she had no real work to do. She walked down the school steps, wishing she had swung by her locker to grab her coat. Grace reached into her pocket and pulled out her keychain with its jumble of house keys.  
  
The key to her and Eli's Honda was on there too. Maybe if Eli hadn't taken the car to lunch... Grace could go and sit in it. At least then she'd be alone, but she'd be warm too. Grace walked to where Eli had parked the car this morning and stopped in surprise.  
  
Eli sat in the parked car. Obliviously he had had the same idea as Grace. Eli looked up, catching Grace through the windshield. They stared at each other for a few moments and then Grace stepped towards the car.  
  
She let herself in the passenger's side. They sat for a moment in silence, the wind picked up outside and it moaned as it rushed around the car.  
  
"I had to do it," Grace said finally. "I couldn't stay in our relationship when... I wasn't giving my all to you."  
  
"Why weren't you?" Eli asked, looking straight ahead at the rows of cars outside.  
  
"Well, I'm sure Dr. Rosenfeld could give you a few ideas on that... but I just don't know Eli. It was all just too serious too fast... And I needed to just go and be me." Grace played with the keys on her key ring. She hadn't really talked to Eli since she broke up with him last week. Maybe now it was time... to talk.  
  
"Are you happy?" Eli asked, looking at Grace out of the corner of his eyes.  
  
[[Eli - Don't say you are... don't say you are...]]  
  
"No," Grace whispered. She wasn't happy.  
  
"Then, why'd you break it off?" Eli asked.  
  
"Because this might make me... happy," Grace said, glancing up at him.  
  
Eli sighed, nodded, and dropped his head. He stared at the steering wheel, "You don't think I could make you happy?"  
  
"I know you can," Grace said fiercely.  
  
"Then... I don't understand."  
  
"I'm not so clear, myself. But, I needed to do it, Eli," Grace said with her own sigh. She wished she could make him understand... but when she, herself, didn't even quite get it...  
  
"Is... there someone else?" Eli asked finally, looking over at her.  
  
Grace shook her head, "What? No. I did this for... ME."  
  
"That's pretty clear," Eli grumbled.  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Grace asked. The wind outside picked up again and roared with life.  
  
"I mean... that your breaking up with me... showed you don't care about me at all," Eli said sullenly.  
  
Grace looked at him, pained by his words, "That's not true! I love you, Eli, I do."  
  
Eli looked back at her, "Then... why?"  
  
"I don't know... Eli. I just... needed to do it. Maybe it was a mistake, and maybe it wasn't."  
  
"But, you still love me?" Eli's eyes bore into her.  
  
"Of course! Do... you still love me?" Grace asked, dropping her eyes... knowing she had no right to ask.  
  
[[Eli - Of course. *sad smile* I don't think I'll ever stop loving her.]]  
  
"Grace..." Eli shook his head slightly.  
  
"Sorry, I don't have the right to ask that," Grace sighed.  
  
"You don't," Eli said firmly.  
  
"I don't," Grace echoed.  
  
"You broke up with me," Eli reminded her.  
  
"I did."  
  
Eli sighed and looked out the window, "Well... I should go... find John or something. We have another gig this Friday. This one's at The Light House."  
  
"Really?" Grace was surprised. The Light House was one of the best spots for a band to play in Chicago. The bands that played there were bigger names than the rest of the struggling garage bands around. This must be a really big deal to Eli. It meant that his band was actually surviving out there... they were becoming big.  
  
"Yeah... it should be cool," Eli smiled. He couldn't hide his pleasure at the cool gig.  
  
"Oh... uh, Friday's the play..." Grace said with sorrow. She was going to miss it. Or unless... it was at a different time than the play.  
  
"It is?" Eli was disappointed.  
  
"Yeah. The show's at 7," Grace sighed.  
  
"The gig's at 7," Eli said.  
  
"Oh," Grace mumbled. So it was confirmed, she'd have to miss it. And Eli would miss her first play performance. That's if he was going to come to the play. But at least she would be having other performances. "We'll be having more shows on other days-- but, I don't expect you to feel like you have to come..."  
  
"I know," Eli nodded.  
  
"I can't expect that anymore... I can't expect anything," Grace acknowledged.  
  
"You can't," Eli stated. But something in his face told Grace that he would be coming to the play anyways. She was glad.  
  
"So, weren't you going to go find John?" Grace said after a moment of silence.  
  
"Yeah, I was..." Eli reached for the door handle. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"Oh, just sit here, I guess. Since I'm not legal to drive this thing yet," Grace smiled, touching the Honda's key on her keychain.  
  
"I've named 'this thing'," Eli said with a slightly embarrassed smile.  
  
"Really?" Grace smiled herself.  
  
"It's silly... but I thought she deserved a name," Eli shrugged.  
  
"What did you name 'her'?" Grace asked, when he didn't offer up the name.  
  
"Ruby," Eli said finally. He opened the car door, "So, I'm going to go..."  
  
"Okay..." Grace watched him wistfully.  
  
"Bye," Eli said, closing the door after himself.  
  
Grace watched him walk away. She slunk further against the car seat and sighed.  
  
[[Grace - I still love him... I do. But, this breakup isn't about that. Because, I think no matter what... I'll always love him. I just needed some time off... to find myself.]]  
  
* * * 


	12. Illuminating the Situation

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading, as always... Lol. I kind of figured you guys wouldn't like Carla. But, I myself can't really hate her... because I created her basically. It's hard to hate something that comes out of your own brain. I guess. Lol, I don't know. I can't explain. But, oh, O & A fan, no... I don't have the DVD. Because I'm such a poor college student right now, I can't even afford a pack of gum!!! Heheheee. But, I've put it on my To-Buy list. I hope they come out with seasons 2 & 3 on DVD... and with extras on it besides just the episodes! That would be cool. Anyways.  
  
Chapter 12//Illuminating the Situation  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Okay... who wants what for dinner?" Lily asked, going in front of the opened fridge. She looked over the possibilities.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes from where she sat at the island. "You're not going to find anything in there... at least not anything edible."  
  
"I think I saw some old macaroni in the back," Eli offered as he passed by Lily. He opened up the cabinets and surveyed the insides. "Uh, there's a can of condensed milk."  
  
"Yuck," Jessie muttered from where she sat next to Grace.  
  
"I think a trip to the grocery store is in order," Lily decided.  
  
"Definitely," Grace said. Her stomach grumbled in agreement.  
  
Lily pulled a piece of paper out of a drawer and began making a list. The phone rang, and Lily lifted it off the receiver, since she was the closest to it. "Hello?" A moment later she held the phone out towards Jessie, "It's for you honey... it's a boy."  
  
Jessie blinked, surprised, and then smiled. She took the phone from Lily and disappeared into the living room. Lily looked in the fridge again, studying what supplies they needed. She went back to making her list.  
  
Eli came and sat on the stool next to Grace that Jessie had vacated. "So, are you nervous?" He asked.  
  
Grace shrugged, knowing what he was asking about... tomorrow was the first play performance. "I guess."  
  
"I was thinking of going to the Saturday show..." Eli said.  
  
Grace smiled, "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah," Eli said and smiled slightly back at her.  
  
Lily happened to look up from her list and that moment and caught Eli and Grace exchanging smiles. Lily smiled to herself. They did make a cute couple.  
  
"I wish I could go to your gig," Grace said.  
  
Eli nodded, "Yeah, I know."  
  
They lapsed into silence, and Lily glanced up again, and this time her brow furrowed as she looked at the two of them. They sat side by side, not speaking, not looking into each other's eyes... not holding hands, not kissing... they just sat there. Lily was confused by this, by wrote it off... it didn't mean anything.  
  
Eli went out to the garage and Jessie came back in to hang up the phone. She was beaming. Lily finished up her list and then noticed the happy smile on Jessie's face. "Who was on the phone, sweetie?"  
  
Jessie shyly admitted that it was Tad.  
  
"Tad?" Lily asked.  
  
"Tad?" Grace asked, very surprised. Tad was a junior. And very popular.  
  
Jessie nodded.  
  
Grace's stomach rumbled again, and she picked up an apple from the bowl on the island and bit into it.  
  
* * *  
  
"Kids! Rick! Everyone!" Lily cried as she came back into the house later that night. She set the first of the grocery bags onto the counter and waited. When she didn't hear the sound of anyone coming she yelled again, this time yelling: "Food!"  
  
Rick and Eli entered the kitchen at the same time, closely followed by Zoe, and then Jessie and Grace. "Where's the food?" Eli asked.  
  
"First, I need you guys to bring the groceries in," Lily said, guarding the take-out bag she held.  
  
The kids and Rick went out to the car, and carried the bags in in one trip. Lily waited until she had got in the dining room before releasing the take-out bag, knowing that if she let go of it in the kitchen, they'd end up eating in the kitchen. And what was the point of having a dining room if you didn't use it for 'dining'?  
  
They all hungrily dug into the Chinese food. Lily ate hers while looking across the table. Something had been bugging her the whole time she was in the grocery store. Something had been nagging at the back of her mind. So, now she looked closely at Grace and Eli and their interaction... wanting to know the truth.  
  
Grace passed Eli a carton of rice without even pausing to look deeply into his eyes. Eli took the box from her quickly, and avoiding all hand contact with her while the carton passed between them. As they ate, they didn't stop to look at each other, or to whisper... or to sneak a kiss. In fact, if anything they avoided looking at each other. When they did, it was awkward. Their eyes were unsure, their lips unsmiling, their body language tense.  
  
Eli was the first one finished eating, and he asked to be excused. He was halfway out of his seat, as his asking to be excused was really just a rhetorical question, and he wasn't expecting an answer.  
  
But Lily stopped him, "Wait, Eli."  
  
Eli sat back down, "Yeah?"  
  
Lily paused, wondering whether to just get out with it. Then she looked at the kids and realized they were getting more and more worried the longer she paused. They were expecting an announcement of some sort, but all Lily really wanted to do was ask a question. Just one question. Lily asked it, "Eli... Grace... Have you broken up?"  
  
Rick was surprised and dropped his chopsticks, awaiting the answer. He had no idea why his wife would think that... but maybe she knew something he didn't.  
  
Jessie frowned. She had really been hoping Eli and Grace would fix whatever problems they were having and stay together.  
  
Zoe reached for the fortune cookies, wondering if she'd get the same one she got last time.  
  
Grace looked to Eli. Eli answered Lily, "Uh, yeah, we did." Eli snagged the fortune cookie Zoe had been about to pick and left.  
  
Zoe wrinkled her nose and reluctantly picked out another fortune cookie.  
  
Grace frowned down at her plate, and then quietly asked to be excused too. She left, heading up towards her room.  
  
Rick looked at Lily, wondering how come their kids hadn't told them about the break-up.  
  
Zoe broke open her fortune and read it with delight:  
  
You are a beam of sunlight. You light up people's days with your insights and comments. You just have a way with people.  
  
* * *  
  
"Honey, you were great!" Lily cried as she found Grace backstage.  
  
Grace unenthusiastically let her mom hug her and then pushed her back, "Mom... you're not supposed to be back here."  
  
Lily didn't take notice of this and handed Grace the pink roses she held, "For my star!"  
  
Grace realized her mother wasn't going to leave the backstage area, and quickly walked with her mother out to the auditorium. She stopped with surprise as two more people came over to congratulate her... her father and Tiffany.  
  
"You were great, pumpkin," Jake said, giving her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.  
  
"You were!" Tiffany agreed, giving Grace a hug of her own.  
  
Grace looked at the two of them, wondering what she had missed.  
  
[[Grace- So, are they back together now, or what?]]  
  
Grace wanted to ask, but this wasn't the time, so instead she said to Tiffany, "Have you gotten even bigger?"  
  
Tiffany patted her belly and nodded, "I think I have."  
  
Jake's arm went around Tiffany, "Only a month or so now... and then you get a brother, Grace."  
  
"It might be a girl," Tiffany said. "Actually, I think it might be a girl, because I'm carrying it so high, and my pulse is weaker on my right arm."  
  
Grace knew nothing about predicting a baby's sex and so she just nodded.  
  
[[Grace - A sister... or brother... wow.]]  
  
Grace looked at her father's arm resting around Tiffany. She smiled. "So, are you back, for good?" She asked Tiffany.  
  
Tiffany nodded, "I am."  
  
Grace was going to say something else, but was then interrupted by the appearance of Zoe, Jessie and Rick.  
  
"You were--" Zoe began to say to Grace, but then saw Tiffany. She flew past Grace and hugged her stepmother with zest. "Are you back... for good?"  
  
"Yup," Tiffany said.  
  
Grace watched as Tiffany and Jake shared a warm smile.  
  
* * *  
  
"She's really good," Jessie said, as she and Eli scooted down an aisle near the middle of the auditorium the next night.  
  
"Yeah, Grace is good at anything she sets her mind to," Eli said, and they sat down.  
  
Jessie shook her head, "No.. I mean, REALLY good. Eli, I think she's found her calling or whatever. She's really good."  
  
Eli nodded, and leaned back in the seat. He had stayed up late with the guys partying after their gig. Their set at The Light House had gone really really good. It had gone so good that Eli had been shocked.  
  
[[Eli - This is, like, actually happening... we're a band. A good band. We've got friends, and gigs, and we're making money... and it's working. It's actually working. I could do this for a living. *pauses, thinking* This could be my life. Not college, not some stupid job... but this. *smiles*]]  
  
The lights dimmed, and Eli looked expectantly to the stage. And Jessie was right, Grace was good... really good. Maybe she had found her calling, too.  
  
* * *  
  
"I heard you were at Ronda's last night," Grace... Cilia said coldly.  
  
Eli watched as the guy playing Milos (Eli recognized him somewhat- he thought the guy's name was Travis or Trevor or something like that) put a hand on Grace's face. "Cilia, I'm engaged to you!" Travis or Trevor or whatever said.  
  
"I'm beginning to think that was nothing but a mistake," Grace as Cilia said, and Eli could hear the pain in her voice.  
  
Eli looked, wondering if Grace's eyes had that troubled look in them that she got in real life when she was pained. He looked as Travis or Trevor moved closer to Grace. He watched as Grace turned her head up, meeting Travis or Trevor's lips. He watched as they kissed... passionately. Very passionately. The kiss was very believable.  
  
[[Eli - It was too believable.]]  
  
Jessie heard him shifting in his seat. The lights dimmed onstage and the stage crew was hurriedly setting up for the next scene. Jessie looked to Eli, and saw the grimace on his face. She looked to the now black stage, and realized what Eli had just seen. Her face filled with shame... as she, his sister, should have realized that Eli seeing Grace kiss another guy (even if they were only acting) would hurt him.  
  
Jessie just hadn't thought about it.  
  
The lights came back on the stage, brightly illuminating the next scene. Eli stood up, and scurried past rows of seated people. Jessie paused and then followed her brother out of the auditorium.  
  
* * *  
  
"I hope you realize... what a great guy he is," Grace said sadly.  
  
Cynthia, as Ronda, nodded, "Of course, I realize that. I love Milos."  
  
Grace nodded, "And he loves... you."  
  
"I'm sorry," Cynthia put a hand on Grace's shoulder.  
  
Grace sighed, "I think a part of me always knew it."  
  
"Will you forgive me?" Cynthia asked, "I didn't mean to take him from you..."  
  
Grace shook her head, "He was never mine to take. If you love something, you let it go. And if it comes back to you, it's yours, and if it doesn't it never was."  
  
"Will you be alright?" Cynthia asked.  
  
Grace nodded, "Don't worry about me."  
  
Cynthia paused a bit and then walked to the far side of the stage. The lights faded on Grace, putting her into the shadows, and she was done... her role as Cilia was done for the play. She quickly moved off the stage, the dimmed lights hiding her exit from the audience. The audience was already looking at Cynthia talking to Travis at the front of the stage.  
  
Grace hesitated as she got to the edge of the stage. The lights hid her anyways, so she paused and looked into the audience, wanting to see Eli's face. She looked to the middle, where she had seen him earlier. But now she couldn't find his face. She kept looking, finally realizing that there were two empty seats near where she had thought she had seen Eli and Jessie sitting earlier.  
  
One of the stage hands grabbed Grace's elbow as she stood frozen, looking at the empty seats. The stage hand yanked her off stage just as the lights were coming back on in that part. The stage hand, Cary, gave her a strange look, but Grace just stumbled away, lost in thought.  
  
[[Grace - He left.]]  
  
* * * 


	13. What Lies Beneath

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Psst... I don't want to give too much away, but I don't want you all to get worried, either... SO, just don't worry too much about Grace and Travis. That's all I'll say. :)  
  
Chapter 13// What Lies Beneath  
  
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*  
  
"So, I talked with Lily, and she invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner," Jake mentioned casually. He looked to his wife, and added, "We don't have to go, of course. I just... it would be nice for the girls."  
  
Tiffany smiled at him, "Of course we'll go."  
  
"You're okay with it?" Jake asked. He didn't want to push Tiffany to do anything she didn't want to do... especially since they had just reconciled their relationship.  
  
Tiffany's nose wrinkled up, "Why wouldn't I be okay with it? I like Lily."  
  
"Oh," Jake nodded, "Of course."  
  
"And I love your girls," Tiffany moved closer to him, setting down the baby name book she had been studying and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"And they love you," Jake said, stealing a kiss back.  
  
Tiffany smiled bashfully, "I don't know about that..."  
  
"They do," Jake said honestly. "They might have been a little weirded out about our relationship at first, but they have come to really love you, Tiffany. Just like I do."  
  
Tiffany smiled, and picked up the baby name book again. Jake watched her, his eyes filled with adoration.  
  
[[Jake - I almost lost her... and it just made me realize just how much I really do love her. The idea of never seeing her again - not to mention not seeing my kid- was just too much. I'm glad she has a tender heart, and that she's willing to give us a try again. I think we can work. I think we can survive.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"E, I don't need a ride after school. I'm going to Katie's, so don't wait for me or anything," Jessie said, as she grabbed the strap of her backpack and got out of the front passenger's seat of the car.  
  
"Okay," Eli agreed. Jessie shut the door behind her and Eli watched Jessie cross across the school yard and join a large group of girls and guys. His sister was certainly making friends.  
  
Eli heard a heavy sigh from the backseat, and his eyes went to the rearview mirror and he looked back on Grace. Grace's face was troubled, and Eli knew she was about to speak her mind.  
  
"Eli," She began.  
  
Eli's eyes dropped from the mirror and he looked down at the steering wheel instead, "Yeah."  
  
"I don't understand..."  
  
Eli glanced back on her. It was painful to look at her. Not just because her pretty face was twisted into a sad look-- which Eli knew was probably due to his actions-- but also because looking at her reminded him of the play performance. Of seeing her kissing the guy from the play. Seeing her kissing someone else with the same passion she had used to kiss him.  
  
"Why did you leave the play?" Grace asked. That question bugged her all weekend. Eli had been at his mom's though, and Grace hadn't had enough courage to go over and ask Eli to explain. She was afraid she wouldn't like the answer.  
  
Eli sighed, and turned his head back around, taking his eyes off her. "Do you really want to know, Grace?"  
  
"Well... yeah," Grace admitted. She leaned forward, and this time when Eli turned his head around, their faces were only a foot apart.  
  
Eli's face hardened as he looked at her. "Grace... that kiss..."  
  
Grace shook her head, immediately knowing what Eli thought. She put up her defense, "It's acting! Nothing more."  
  
Eli looked at her sadly. "I don't know if that's true. You may think it's true, Grace..."  
  
"It's true. The play calls for me to kiss Travis. It's important for Cilia to kiss Milos in that scene," Grace insisted.  
  
"Yes, that may be true... but I think there's something more behind that kiss Grace. Something you don't realize or don't quite see yet..." Eli looked at her sadly.  
  
"What's that?" Grace asked, perplexed.  
  
Eli leaned his head back a bit, and paused. Then he said, without looking at Grace, "I think you have feelings for this guy."  
  
Eli heard Grace's hard breath of disbelief. He could feel her hurt eyes on the back of his head. Then she was opening the car door, and it slammed back shut... and she was gone.  
  
Eli couldn't resist looking to his right, and watching her walk away towards the school doors. Her shoulders were slumped, her head dipped, and she looked lost in thought.  
  
Eli watched her until her figure became blurry... not because she was getting further and further away, but because Eli's eyes were slowly growing more watery. Then he looked back down at the car keys clutched in his hand. He gripped the keys tighter, and waited for his eyes to grow dryer. Then he replaced the car key in the slot, and turned it, roaring Ruby to life again. He didn't feel like going to school today...  
  
Eli tore out of the parking lot at a high speed, already picturing his guitar waiting on his bed at his mother's empty house.  
  
* * *  
  
"Our last performance!" Cynthia cried later that week. They had already done two shows last weekend, one on Tuesday night, one on Thursday night, and now it was Friday night again, and they were about to put on their last show.  
  
Grace smiled sadly. The play had been fun to do... or at least for a while it had been fun. But then on Monday Eli's comments had made Grace stop and think.  
  
[[Grace - I don't really like Travis... do I?]]  
  
Grace had begun to be nervous about doing the play performances, but not for the normal reasons. But because, she had begun to dread the kissing scene...  
  
[[Grace - Don't you think I would have noticed if I had a crush on him?]]  
  
Her stomach would tie up in knots as the scene grew closer. She looked out on the audience every night before the play started... but never had Eli returned to see another one of the performances. Her mother, Zoe, Jake, Tiffany and Judy were all repeat audience members, but Eli's face was one that never reappeared.  
  
[[Grace - You don't just develop feelings for someone without noticing... especially when you're otherwise involved in a relationship. I was with Eli... even if we were having problems, I wouldn't have just... started liking Travis.]]  
  
Grace was disappointed. She really liked acting. She liked the play, and she wished Eli would have returned to see the whole thing, and not just the first half. But... he hadn't. And anyways, after Eli's words in the car, Grace's acting probably wasn't as good as it had been, when she hadn't given any thought to the kissing scene. Back when the kiss had just been a kiss between two characters... and not the possibility of something more.  
  
Grace didn't like the idea of the kiss being something more. She didn't like the idea that maybe... just maybe she did have feelings for Travis.  
  
[[Grace - *unsurely* I don't like Travis... not like that.]]  
  
"Break a leg," Travis said as he came up being Grace as she was peering around the curtains.  
  
Grace jumped and let the curtain fall back. She hadn't seen Eli in the audience anyways. "You too," She whispered to Travis and then quickly moved backstage. It was their last show... Eli hadn't came. He would never see Grace play Cilia after the kiss... after Milos rejects Cilia in favor for Ronda. He would never see Grace as Cilia saying her goodbye. He would never see Grace take her bow at the end. He would never join in the applause for their play. He wasn't here.  
  
* * *  
  
Then, came time for the kiss. There was a noticeable pause... even longer than there had been during the other shows this week-- the other shows that had come after Eli's words.  
  
Mr. Morris, watching from the back, was surprised by Grace's new adaptation of Cilia's character. She was playing her with more... emotion tonight it seemed. He could almost feel Cilia's pain at losing her love. Mr. Morris didn't know what brought on Grace's new take on Cilia, but he liked it...  
  
The pause before the kiss lasted longer than Mr. Morris would have liked, but then the two on stage finally met in a kiss, and Mr. Morris was moved by their intensity.  
  
Grace kissed him. She kissed him as Grace kissing Travis, not as Cilia kissing Milos. She tested the waters-- so to speak... she wanted to know what lay beneath the surface.  
  
Travis, himself, didn't realize the change. He kissed her back, glad that the kiss was just actually happening. He had been worried there for a moment... for a moment he had thought for some reason Grace just wasn't going to kiss him at all. But they had to kiss... it was an important part of the storyline.  
  
Grace pulled back, breathing a little hard. She looked up at Travis as the lights dimmed on them. She blinked.  
  
* * *  
  
"Happy Thanksgiving!" Lily cried cheerfully as Tiffany and Jake entered through the kitchen door.  
  
"More like 'Happy Turkey Day'," Jake commented, lifting his head slightly as the smell of the cooking bird filled his nostrils.  
  
"Do you need any help?" Tiffany asked, unbuttoning her coat.  
  
Jake turned, and saw Tiffany struggling with her coat. He helped slip it off around her shoulders.  
  
Lily smiled at Tiffany, "Don't you think you should rest?"  
  
Tiffany pulled out a stool at the island, and sat down heavily. "Sit... yes. Rest... no. Just give me something I can do while sitting, and I'm good."  
  
Jake took off his own coat and then kissed Tiffany on the forehead and headed into the living room. Rick, Grace, and Zoe were all seated in front of the TV. Karen had Eli and Jessie this Thanksgiving, apparently.  
  
Zoe saw her Dad, and ran up to give him a hug, before scooting off to the kitchen to greet Tiffany. Jake greeted Rick. And then kissed Grace's forehead.  
  
Grace smiled up at her dad, but her smile wasn't all there.  
  
Rick got up to go see if he could steal any food from the kitchen to snack on... not likely, Jake knew... as Lily tended to guard all the Thanksgiving food for the actual meal. She didn't like them getting full before the bird was actually on the table.  
  
Anyways, Jake took his opportunity to have some alone time with Grace. "So, you broke up with Eli," Jake said. Lily had told him. She had warned him actually... not to bring it up. But he was Grace's father. He had to make sure she was alright.  
  
Grace sighed and nodded, "Yeah."  
  
Jake brushed back some of her brown locks, "Are you okay?" He studied his daughter's face intently.  
  
Grace shrugged, "Well... I should be. I mean, I was the one who broke things off. I should be okay, right?" She looked up at him, like he might know all the answers.  
  
"No, I don't think it always works that way," Jake said softly.  
  
Grace nodded. She knew that.  
  
"But, I guess... it can get better in time," Jake offered.  
  
Grace took this statement eagerly. She nodded and a glimmer of hope shone in her eyes. "Maybe it can."  
  
* * * 


	14. That Worn Path

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading, as always. Oh, and Netty, the episode in which Eli and Grace kissed was the first episode of season two, "Wake up little Susie". But, of course it was all only in Lily's head, as it turned out to be a daydream of hers and didn't actually happen! Sucks much.  
  
Chapter 14//That Worn Path  
  
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*  
  
"Eli!"  
  
Jessie looked up at the sound of her mother's anger-filled voice with surprise. Eli looked up also, but much more slowly. He kind of already suspected what his mother was upset about.  
  
Karen took a second to collect her thoughts and then sent Jessie away to her room so she could talk to Eli alone.  
  
Jessie went reluctantly, throwing a somber glance over her shoulder at her brother.  
  
[[Jessie - It seems like my mom is always mad at Eli nowadays.]]  
  
Karen paced a bit and then looked directly at Eli, "The school called. Apparently, you've been skipping classes."  
  
Busted. Eli acknowledged his mother's statement with a short nod.  
  
"Eli!" Karen moaned. "It's important that you keep your grades up this year. You can't just not... go to your classes."  
  
"It was only a couple classes," Eli downplayed it.  
  
Karen frowned, putting her hands on her hips. She rattled off what the school had told her on the phone, "You missed all of Monday. Most of Tuesday. Half of Wednesday and Thursday and one class on Friday.... and you say that's 'only a couple of classes'??"  
  
Busted again.  
  
[[Eli - God, it's not that big of a deal. I'm almost 18. So, I don't go to some lame classes, so what?]]  
  
Karen waited for Eli to say something, anything. But he was silent, knowing any words he said would just piss off his mother even more. Karen sighed, "You, me and your father are going to have to sit down and have a long conversation about your future."  
  
Karen, too angry to speak anymore, headed off towards the kitchen. Eli frowned.  
  
[[Eli - It's my life.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"E," Rick said sternly when Eli and Jessie came through the door after being dropped off by Karen.  
  
"I know, I know," Eli said angrily.  
  
"You can't just be skipping classes," Rick said. He sighed.  
  
Jessie looked at the two of them sadly and then scooted past them and up the stairs.  
  
[[Jessie - And when my mom's mad at Eli... my dad's mad at Eli..... And then I get mad at Eli. I mean, why can't he just go to school like the rest of us? Why does he have to cause problems? He knew that skipping school would cause trouble, but he did it anyways. ]]  
  
"Your mother and I are going to have to decide what to do about you," Rick continued.  
  
Eli glared at his father and then said through clenched teeth, "Why can't I decide what to do about myself??"  
  
Rick folded his arms across his chest, and glanced away. He looked back at Eli sadly, "Well, you haven't been doing such a great job of that, lately, have you?"  
  
"Maybe I'm making the choices I WANT to make. Maybe this is how I want to live my life. But, you know what? It doesn't really matter because it is MY life. Mine. Not yours or Mom's. Mine. So, just let me make my own decisions," Eli spat out at his father.  
  
Rick started to collect a comeback, but the front door opened and Lily and her girls were entering.  
  
"Brr... it's cold out there," Lily commented, not picking up on the tension between Rick and Eli.  
  
Grace noticed it, though, and her eyes fell sadly on Eli's face.  
  
Eli looked away from Grace's eyes... he didn't want her pity.  
  
"I'm making my lasagna," Lily said happily, moving past the two men.  
  
"Oh, goodie!" Zoe cried, following her mother.  
  
Eli plucked his coat from the coat rack he had just hung it up on.  
  
"Where are you going?" Rick demanded.  
  
"Out," Eli said fiercely. He looked at Grace briefly, and then stormed past her and out the door.  
  
Rick made an audible noise of frustration.  
  
* * *  
  
"Jessie, telephone for you!" Lily called later that night, after supper. Grace, Jessie and Zoe were all seated on the couch watching 'A Wonderful Life' for the first time that holiday season. It was one of Zoe's favorites, though, so Grace suspected they would watch it at least 5 more times before the Christmas season was over.  
  
Jessie jumped up from the couch cheerfully, as she always did now that she had a friend in Katie. Grace could see that Katie meant a lot to Jessie. And it made Grace feel a little bad that she and Eli had been so clueless about Jessie at the beginning of the year. Jessie had said she felt invisible around the two of them when they were a couple. Because they had been so wrapped up in each other.... well, not so much anymore.  
  
Grace didn't know what was going on in Eli's head anymore. She had been shocked when she had heard Rick mentioning to Lily that Eli had started skipping school. Grace hadn't known that. Eli had always driven them to school when they both were at the house and not at their other parents. And he had always been there at the end of the day to drive them home. He had never let on that he hadn't been going to his classes. And now Grace wondered what he had been doing in the in-between time.  
  
Jessie came back and plopped down in her seat on the couch. She had a funny little smile on her face. Like she wasn't sure if she should be happy or not. Grace waited for Jessie to say something, but she just stared at the TV.  
  
"So?" Grace asked finally.  
  
Jessie looked over at her. "What?"  
  
"Why are you so... happy?" Grace said for lack of a better word.  
  
Jessie shrugged, and then burst into a smile, "I kind of got asked out on a date."  
  
"You did??" Grace was surprised. But it made sense. Lately when she saw Jessie at school she was always surrounded by girls and guys. She had become quite popular.  
  
Zoe shushed them, her eyes intent on the movie.  
  
Jessie nodded and whispered, "With Tad! I can't believe he asked me out. Well, actually he asked Katie to ask me..."  
  
"And you said 'yes'?" Grace asked.  
  
Jessie nodded. Zoe shushed them again. Jessie smiled to herself and turned back to the TV. Grace looked back at the black and white image on the television, and suddenly decided she didn't really want to be watching this movie anyways. She got up from the couch, and exited the living room.  
  
* * *  
  
"Did you see the good review in the school paper?" Cynthia asked, coming over to Grace.  
  
"Really?" Grace asked.  
  
"Yup, it came out yesterday. They said a lot of good things about the play," Cynthia showed the article to Grace.  
  
Grace skimmed it, and her eyes notched onto her own name. She read what the author had said about her:  
  
...Cynthia McCormick (junior) was outstanding, as usual, as the trying to break away from her parents character, Ronda. Grace Manning (sophomore) was impressive as the poor heartbroken Cilia. She played Cilia with a strong energy. The kiss between Cilia and Milos- played by Travis Woodsman (junior)- was so electric, that the audience felt Cilia's ache when Milos chose Ronda over her. But of course Ronda was so well-played by McCormick, that we weren't sure which girl Milos should be with. All in all...  
  
"Hey!" Travis said, coming up behind them.  
  
Grace turned and smiled warmly at him. She held up the paper, "Did you read what they wrote about us?"  
  
Travis nodded with a teasing smile, "Our kiss was 'electric'."  
  
Grace smiled shyly and folded the paper back up. She handed it back to Cynthia.  
  
[[Grace - That last performace... that last kiss between Travis and I... it made me wonder. I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling anymore... *shy smile* but that kiss was nice...]]  
  
"So, well, I'm having a bit of a party. Just a small thing, mostly for people that worked on the play," Travis said, giving them a smile. "And... of course, I need my leading ladies to be there."  
  
"Of course then we'll be there," Cynthia agreed.  
  
"Yes, of course," Grace added. She smiled up at Travis.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace was deciding between her black shirt and her red shirt when she heard a car pull into the driveway. She scooted to the window and looked down, trying to see if it was Cynthia. But, then again, Cynthia had said she'd come pick Grace up for the party at 7:30, and it was now only 7:00.  
  
The figure that got out of the car was definitely not Cynthia. Grace squinted and saw... it was Tad. Here for his date with Jessie. Grace moved away from the window and looked back at her choices of wardrobe. But, now, neither of them looked that good.  
  
[[Grace - I guess I was surprised that Jessie was going on a date with Tad... or that she'd be going on a date at all, I guess. She's so young. Yeah, she's a freshman, I guess... and I was a freshman when Eli and I started dating, but... I dunno. I guess, I was just surprised.]]  
  
Grace crossed the room to her closet and began shuffling through her clothes again. Her hand landed on a lacy long-sleeved black dress that her mother had convinced Grace to buy. Grace had worn it once, to appease her mother. It was pretty, but it just wasn't Grace's type of clothing.  
  
Grace heard footsteps sounding on the stairs, and she opened her door a bit and looked out. Jessie, all decked out in a pretty pink ruffled shirt and slim black pants smiled in surprise at Grace's sudden appearance in the doorway.  
  
"I forgot my purse!" Jessie explained with a smile. She continued past Grace and went up her attic stairs.  
  
Grace ducked back into her room, closing the door behind her. She looked at the black dress.  
  
[[Grace - *shrugs* Why not?]]  
  
Grace plucked the dress off the closet rack.  
  
* * *  
  
"You look nice," Lily commented as Grace came into the kitchen a little while later.  
  
"Thanks," Grace said. She looked down at herself and straightened the dress' hem.  
  
"You missed meeting Tad," Lily said with a smile, "He's such a nice boy."  
  
Those wouldn't be the exact words Grace would describe him as. Guys like Tad didn't become popular by being 'nice boys'. "I know Tad," Grace said to her mother, "I go to the same school, remember?"  
  
"Of course," Lily said, waving a hand. She began straightening up the kitchen table.  
  
Grace remembered why she had come down here anyways, and poured herself a glass of apple juice. She was sipping it as Eli entered.  
  
Eli froze for half a second as he looked at Grace. Grace in her pretty dress. Grace with her hair down up in that fancy way she sometimes wore, but not often. Grace with makeup on.  
  
Grace lowered her eyes away from his, even though she didn't think there was any reason she should feel guility.  
  
[[Grace - It's just a party... with friends. And... Eli and I are broken up.]]  
  
Eli continued walking, and brushed by Grace to get to the fridge. If Grace had been looking up, she would of realized that Eli was having a hard time looking at her too.  
  
A car honked in the driveway.  
  
"That's Cynthia," Grace said, relieved. She pulled her coat off the kitchen chair and quickly made her exit, not looking at Eli.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace looked up at the house sullenly. Cynthia nudged her and they continued walking up the path towards Travis' house.  
  
"Do I look okay?" Grace asked nervously.  
  
Cynthia nodded in assurance. But, since when did Grace start caring how she looked?  
  
Grace followed Cynthia up the porch steps and her eyebrows raised in surprise as Cynthia opened the front door without knocking. Cynthia caught Grace's surprised look and shrugged, "I practically live at Travis' house. He doesn't care if I knock or not."  
  
Grace nodded, and they entered. Cynthia led Grace expertly through the house and down to the nicely furnished basement, where the music was floating up from.  
  
Grace looked around. There were quite a few people there, some of them she didn't recognize, but most were indeed from the play. Grace's eyes searched through the crowd and finally landed on Travis. He was saying something to a group of three people. His tanned face was lit up with a wide smile, showing off his white teeth. He raised a hand and brushed his long blond hair back behind his ears.  
  
Grace smiled.  
  
[[Grace - I don't know anything anymore...]]  
  
* * * 


	15. Turn the Page

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 15//Turn the Page  
  
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"You don't have to do that," Jessie said shyly.  
  
Tad shrugged, and handed the cashier a five. "I'm the one that asked you to go out to lunch, so I'll pay..."  
  
"Okay," Jessie agreed. She smiled and picked up the tray with her fast food on it. She waited until Tad got his change and then they headed for a table in the back of the restaurant. Tad walked slightly in front of Jessie and she found herself studying the back of his neck as they went.  
  
[[Jessie - It's like... it's just weird to have a guy be interested in ME. I can tell Tad likes me, and that's just... weird. *smile* It's nice. It's... well, flattering.]]  
  
"Here?" Tad asked, plopping down his tray without waiting for an answer. Jessie slid in across the booth from him.  
  
They ate and talked for a while, mostly talking about the things they had in common... which was school, and Katie. Katie was the one who had set up their date in the first place. Of course, they had only gone bowling and to the movies-- and Katie, Sarah, Bill, and Laurie had been there too. It had been a group date type of thing. But Katie insisted that it still counted as a date, and she kept telling Jessie over and over how much Tad liked her.  
  
"Hey..." Jessie said, looking out the window on her left. "Isn't that Katie?"  
  
Tad looked too. It was Katie out in the parking lot, climbing out of her little "Bucket of Rust" as she called her car. Jessie smiled happily and began to wave to try and catch Katie's attention. Katie wasn't alone, however. Jessie's hand fell a bit as she watched Sarah Grosso climbing out of the passenger's side.  
  
"It's Katie and Sarah," Tad said, commenting on the obvious.  
  
Jessie's attention was still at the window though as she watched the two brunettes (Katie's hair was more a golden brown, and Sarah's a dark brown) start walking towards the building. The wind was blowing heavily, and Katie's winter felt hat was tipped eschew on her head. As Jessie watched, Sarah's hands snuck up and grabbed Katie's blue hat off her head. Jessie smiled softly at the two girls chasing each other in the parking lot.  
  
[[Jessie - I don't know what I would have done if Katie hadn't come into my life. She changed it... she changed everything. I mean, like before I had NO friends, and now... I'm, like, popular. And I'm like, kind- of, sort-of, seeing Tad. And it's all because Katie took me in as a friend. She's just... so amazing.]]  
  
Jessie glanced back at Tad, who had finished eating his extra value meal, and moved on to eating the remainder of Jessie's fries. Jessie didn't mind, though. She looked back at the window, to see if the girls were closer to entering the restaurant. What she saw shocked her.  
  
Her mouth dropped open a bit, and her heart beat questioningly. Her eyes danced away from the window to Tad, and then around at the other customers in the restaurant. And then her eyes were drawn by a strong force back to the window. She had to see if... if she had really seen what she had thought she had seen.  
  
Because she thought she had seen Katie and Sarah kissing.  
  
Jessie looked at where they had been standing... where she had seen the two girls embracing. They weren't there. Jessie's eyes danced over the snow-covered parking lot, but the two girls weren't out there anymore... that must mean...  
  
"Hey Jessie!" Katie's voice called happily from the entrance of the restaurant as she noticed Jessie at the table in the back.  
  
Jessie lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave. Katie looked normal... she didn't look like she had just been kissing another girl out in the parking lot...  
  
[[Jessie - Katie NEVER said anything about her and Sarah... not like that. She never said anything about being gay either...]]  
  
Sarah appeared behind Katie and she noticed Jessie too. Sarah leaned in and whispered something to Katie, and Katie nodded. Katie looked back at Jessie and Tad before giving a small wave and scurrying over to the cashier with Sarah.  
  
Jessie looked down at her tray and frowned.  
  
[[Jessie - I mean, why wouldn't she tell me? I thought we were friends...]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Jess?" Grace asked as Jessie passed by her opened doorway. Jessie didn't stop and Grace heard her feet pounding on the attic stairs. Grace frowned, but sensed that Jessie didn't really feel like talking right now.  
  
Grace looked down at the chemistry homework she was trying to figure out. With a sigh she dropped her pencil and instead found herself looking around her room. It had grown incredibly messy. Grace was surprised that her mother hadn't been on her already about cleaning it up.  
  
Grace went to her desk first, sorting through the piles of papers. She paused and her eyes grew glassy as she looked down at the framed photo on her desk. One of her few of her and Eli as a couple. It had been taken last summer at her mother's and Rick's wedding. Grace was in her bridesmaid dress and Eli was in his nice suit. Eli had his arm draped comfortably around Grace's shoulders. Their smiles were big and bright.  
  
Grace sighed. She looked up, catching her reflection in the mirror. There certainly was no smile like that on her face right now. Or on Eli's face, for that matter. Eli... Eli.. was slowly unraveling. He was unraveling under the pressure Rick and Karen were putting on him. Grace hated to see that.  
  
[[Grace - I love Eli. I still do. I always will. I just... *stares blankly*]]  
  
Grace carefully replaced the photo on her desk. She didn't care that she and Eli weren't a couple anymore-- there was no way she was ever going to get rid of that picture. That picture of the two of them was just so... perfect. Grace couldn't bare the thought of shoving it away in some drawer. That just wouldn't be right.  
  
[[Grace - *eyes refocus* But... is it okay... that I kind of have... feelings for someone else? Even though I still love Eli?]]  
  
* * *  
  
Eli smiled happily. A smile slightly resembling the smile from the photograph Grace had been looking at. Not as bright however... but close. "Are you serious?" He asked.  
  
John nodded. He was indeed very serious. A huge smile lit up John's face too. He knew what a big deal this was.  
  
Eli thought over it. It was... incredible. Delivery, a fairly popular band with a sizeable following had asked them, Anti-Inflammatory, to go on tour with them this summer as their opening band. This was a big deal. A very very nice gig. They would end up with a good amount of money. This was...  
  
[[Eli - ...Amazing! Just freaking amazing. I can't believe this...]]  
  
"We're going to do it, right?" John asked anxiously.  
  
Eli nodded, "Of course. We can't turn this down. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We could make a name for ourselves."  
  
John smiled, then cringed, "What will your parents think of it?"  
  
Eli's smiled dropped, "They'll hate it. Absolutely hate it with a vengeance."  
  
"And so...?" John asked.  
  
Eli shrugged, "We're doing it." He smiled. "We're doing it," He repeated.  
  
John nodded, relieved.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli, I was thinking it would be a good idea for you to get a job this summer... you know to save up for college," Rick suggested that night at dinner.  
  
Eli looked up briefly, but didn't say anything.  
  
Rick took the bowl of mashed potatoes Lily was passing him, and then looked at Eli once again. "Well?"  
  
"Yeah, a job...save up money," Eli agreed absently. He didn't look up to meet his father's eyes.  
  
[[Eli - I wonder when I should tell them... tell them everything. Like... Hey, Dad, by the way I'm not going to college, and oh, yeah... this summer I'm going on tour with my band. See yeah, later. *scoffs*]]  
  
Grace looked over at Eli, sensing something was up with him. Eli was busy staring at his food, though.  
  
[[Eli - *nods* Yeah, I think I better wait on that announcement...]]  
  
Zoe built her mashed potatoes into a towering mountain. Lily looked over and gave her a disapproving look, and Zoe quickly smashed her tower of potatoes. "So, I got asked out," She said brightly.  
  
Lily started. "What?"  
  
"On a date," Zoe said casually. "Ted Bracket. He's in the same grade as me. He has been since second grade, but he used to be all... gross and now he's like, normal, I guess."  
  
"He asked you out?" Lily said, surprised. Zoe was so young to be thinking of dating. Grace hadn't had her first date until... until Eli last year.  
  
Zoe nodded, "Just to the movies. We're going with a bunch of other people." Zoe finally saw the expression in her mother's eyes and realized that Lily wasn't just going to let her go that easily. "Please can I go?" Zoe begged.  
  
Lily sighed, "I'll have to think about it."  
  
"We're supposed to do it this Friday," Zoe said urgently, wanting an answer now.  
  
"I'll think about it," Lily said again, causing Zoe to sit back in her chair with a pout.  
  
Grace dully spooned a scoopful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.  
  
[[Grace - Even Zoe's going out on dates now...... *sighs, shifts in chair* It's like... why aren't I doing that... like, dating? Isn't that one of the reasons I broke up with Eli... so I could be free? Free to do what I want... free to find out what I want. *sighs again* So, maybe it's a good idea to just see what's out there... to just... date other people. Like... Travis.]]  
  
Grace looked over at Eli again, this time her eyes glinted with guilt. Was she really considering going on a date with Travis? Eli looked up, and their eyes met. Grace looked away quickly, feeling a sharp pain in her heart.  
  
* * *  
  
"Well, have a good Christmas!" The teacher said. The class gratefully stood up, eager for the final class of the day to be over... and now that meant Winter Break was upon them. A week and a half of freedom.  
  
Grace picked up her backpack, and slipped it over her shoulders. She headed out to the hallway. Winter break... that meant almost two weeks away from school... and most likely from Travis. Grace never got to see Travis outside of school. But what if she... oh, so casually asked Travis to do something over break.  
  
[[Grace - *defensively* Not like a date! *fixes hair, putting it behind her ears* Okay... maybe like a date. *nervous look*]]  
  
Grace went left in the hallway, even though her locker was in the other wing. Travis' locker was in the south wing. Grace's heart started beating faster as she thought about what she was about to do.  
  
[[Grace - Oh God! What would Eli think if he knew I was about to ask another guy out... especially if 'that guy' is Travis... the one he accused me of having feelings for. *startled look* Wait... did Eli really believe I had feelings for him? Did he see this before I did?? How did... how could he have known-- when even I didn't realize the truth? When even I didn't realize that I had feelings for Travis? Does Eli really know me better than I know myself? *is a bit pleased and comforted by this idea*]]  
  
Grace turned the corner, automatically spotting Travis' long blond hair. He was one of the few guys in school with hair like that. It was so blond... if he was a girl, everyone would say he dyed it. But it was natural.  
  
Grace quickly rehearsed the words in her head... thinking of how to ask him out without sounding exactly like she was asking him out. She another couple steps before realizing what she was seeing...  
  
Grace was jolted to a stop. A kid behind her bumped into her, but Grace didn't feel anything. She stared ahead, shocked.  
  
[[Grace - *pained* Why didn't I realize it?]]  
  
Grace watched as Travis broke from his kiss with Cynthia. The two smiled lovingly at each other. They bumped noses and whispered words and then they were kissing again.  
  
Grace quickly turned away. She retreated.  
  
[[Grace - Have I been this blind? *tearful* Why haven't I been able to see ANYTHING in my life lately? Why... why... oh... *bites lower lip* Why does this hurt so much, when I didn't even realize until lately that I actually had feelings for Travis??]]  
  
Grace stumbled blindly through the hallway, bumping into a few people. She mumbled apologizes and continued hastily down the hall. Then a hand reached out and stopped her. Grace, for a wild moment, thought somehow it was Travis. It was Travis... and Cynthia.  
  
But then she looked up, and found herself looking up into Eli's concerned face.  
  
Seeing the concern for herself on Eli's face put the final nail into the coffin. Grace began to cry. Eli was surprised by her tears, not knowing why she would be crying. But he put his arms around her anyways. Grace crushed her face tight against his warm chest, knowing she was probably making a spectacle of herself, but not knowing how to stop the tears.  
  
[[Grace - How can Eli still care SO much about me... after I broke up with him? How can he be THAT good? *sniffles*]]  
  
"It's okay," Eli whispered, "It's okay."  
  
Grace closed her eyes, her tears drying up as she listened to his comforting voice. He was there for her... like always. She really needed that right now. She needed his love.  
  
* * * 


	16. The Water is Always Deeper

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Psst... I just wanted to warn you that I'm going to be busier than usually for the next couple weeks, so the chapters might take longer. :)  
  
Chapter 16//The Water is Always Deeper  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
"Wow, it's really coming down out there, huh?" Lily commented as she moved away from the frosty window.  
  
Grace, sitting on the couch, shrugged. Her eyes turned back to the television show that was on. Lily frowned at Grace's lack of enthusiasm. "Maybe we could go sledding tomorrow if the snow sticks," Lily offered.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes, "No thanks."  
  
Zoe, hovering in the doorway to the kitchen, smiled. "I'll go! I love sledding!"  
  
Grace turned up the volume on the TV. Why couldn't she just get a moment's peace?  
  
Lily looked over at Grace for a few more moments and then went into the kitchen, hearing the timer bell ding. "Cookies are done," She said to Zoe. Zoe followed her, eager to help with decorating the Christmas cookies.  
  
Grace, finally alone, sank gratefully back into the couch. This was more like it. Unfortunately, the front door opened, and Rick and Jessie entered, carrying last minute Christmas gifts. They were talking excitedly about the snow outside.  
  
Grace sighed, and tried to concentrate on the show she was watching, but then Zoe came rushing into the living room again and the noise volume raised another few notches. Knowing she'd never get her silence now, Grace flipped off the TV and headed upstairs. Where maybe, just maybe, she could have a few minutes to herself.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace?" Lily knocked on her door a few minutes later.  
  
"What?" Grace snapped, beyond exasperated.  
  
Lily opened the door and looked in on her daughter, "Your father called. He just took Tiffany into the hospital. She's going into labor."  
  
"Now?" Grace sat up, surprised. Tiffany wasn't due until the 28th, and it was only the 23rd.  
  
"Yup," Lily nodded with a smile. "So, you ready to go over there?"  
  
Grace scrambled for her shoes and followed her mother downstairs. Zoe was already bundled up and waiting by the door.  
  
"The baby's coming!" Zoe cried.  
  
"I know," Grace snipped. She pulled her coat off the coat rack and slipped it on. Rick and Jessie entered the kitchen, with their coats on too.  
  
"All ready?" Lily asked.  
  
They all nodded, and went out to the car.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh, Tiffany, he's beautiful."  
  
"I can't believe I have a brother," Zoe murmured.  
  
"Half-brother," Grace corrected her. Zoe shot a glare in Grace's direction and then looked back on the newborn cradled in Tiffany's arms.  
  
"He's just perfect," Zoe said with delight, looking over the tiny baby.  
  
Tiffany smiled. "He is."  
  
Grace smiled and then looked over at her dad who was practically bursting with joy and excitement at having a son. Grace looked back at the sleeping baby. He was perfect. Absolutely perfect.  
  
Welcome to the world, Ethan Jacob Manning.  
  
* * *  
  
"Eli!" Jessie screeched into the phone, "You have to come see him. He's so cute!"  
  
Eli held the phone slightly away from his ear, "Yeah... maybe."  
  
"Where are you?" Jessie asked.  
  
Eli looked around the small room, "Uh, nowhere."  
  
"Well..." Jessie sounded annoyed. "Are you going to come to the hospital?"  
  
"Maybe tomorrow," Eli said.  
  
Jessie sighed over the phone line, and Eli clicked off his cell phone. He looked across the room at the opened door. No one had come yet. He sighed and leaned back in the uncomfortable chair. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Geez, did it usually take them this long? Because any longer, and Eli might just think of backing out of this whole thing...  
  
A gruff-looking guy with huge tattoos and piercings appeared in the doorway and looked at Eli. "What did you want again?"  
  
Eli gestured at his shirtless upper arm. "I want the dragon. Remember?"  
  
The guy nodded. Eli had already told the guy... who's nickname was Shark, about the tattoo he wanted when he first got here. Hopefully, Shark had enough brain cells to get it right. Eli was relieved when he saw Shark pull out a picture of the dragon tattoo from a file. He didn't want this to get screwed up. It was his first tattoo.  
  
Shark grabbed Eli's arm and started cleaning it with a special orange goo. Eli closed his eyes as the guy began the tattooing.  
  
* * *  
  
"He is so tiny!" Zoe exclaimed later that night.  
  
"He is so cute!" Jessie added. "I can't wait till I have kids."  
  
Rick narrowed his eyes jokingly, "When you're 30, right?"  
  
Jessie smirked. "I was thinking maybe next summer."  
  
Grace, passing by the living room as she went to the kitchen to get something to drink, tried to ignore the excited chatter coming from them.  
  
[[Grace - Yeah, Ethan's cute... he's absolutely adorable. I love him. He's my half-brother... but... *sighs* Some of us have other things on our minds too.]]  
  
Luckily, for Grace, no one noticed her passing by, and she made it to the kitchen without having to join in the conversation. She opened the fridge, closed it with a sigh, and then opened it again. They were out of soda, and Grace wasn't in a juice mood... so she closed it again. She settled for a glass of slightly warm water from the faucet.  
  
Laughter and shrieks rose up from the living room and Grace's hand trembled as she set the glass down in the sink.  
  
[[Grace - I'm feel like I'm lost... lost in my own head. God, where's Dr. Rosenfeld when you need him?]]  
  
Grace's head peaked up as she noticed the low hum of noise coming from the garage. Quickly making up a decision, Grace strode into the garage. She knocked on Eli's door.  
  
Eli answered, shirtless and in boxers. The radio was playing in the background. He held the door open only a few inches and Grace got the feeling he was trying to hide something. She pushed past him, inside his room.  
  
"Eli," Grace begin, about to apologize for just barging in. But then she turned and saw the white bandage on Eli's arm. "What's that? Are you... hurt?"  
  
Eli shrugged, glancing at the bandage that covered his left upper arm. "I got a tattoo."  
  
"Really?" Grace said, but she wasn't that surprised. "Can I see?"  
  
Eli made no move to remove the bandage to show the fresh tattoo to Grace. Instead he said, "What did you want?"  
  
Grace frowned. Not exactly the attitude she was hoping for from Eli... but it was probably the attitude she deserved right now. "I just wanted to explain..."  
  
"Explain what? Why you broke up with me?" Eli snipped.  
  
Grace shook her head slowly, "No... about why I was crying the other day."  
  
"Oh, well... so explain," Eli plopped down on his bed. His eyes were steel looking up at her.  
  
Grace nervously shifted her weight and then opened her mouth. It had to be said. Grace didn't know if it would mean the end of any possibility of ever getting back with Eli... or if it could be just a bump in the road, that they could work past... that's if they ever decided to get back together.  
  
[[Grace - I don't want Eli to close the door on the possibility of us ever getting back together *looks away*... but I HAVE to tell him. He should know.]]  
  
"You were right," Grace said finally. "You were right about Travis."  
  
Eli's tense face hid the turmoil that was going on inside.  
  
"I did... have feelings for him. I didn't even realize I did, until recently. And... the other day... I saw him and Cynthia, kissing, and I guess I just took it hard," Grace bit her lower lip and waited for Eli's reaction.  
  
"You have feelings for him?" Eli murmured.  
  
"I did... have feelings for him, yes," Grace's lips trembled. "But, Eli... they were nowhere near as strong as the feelings I have for you!"  
  
"It's okay, Grace," Eli said after a pause.  
  
"What's okay?" Grace whispered.  
  
"It's okay... if you don't love me anymore," Eli looked away from her, staring at the ground. "You're only 15. I'm almost 18. We have to live in the same house... we became too close too soon."  
  
"But, I liked being close with you," Grace said.  
  
Eli nodded, "But we should have realized it wouldn't work out... in the long run."  
  
"Don't say that!" Grace shrieked.  
  
Eli looked sadly at her, "Why? Isn't that what you said to me... when you broke up with me?"  
  
"But..." Grace stammer, but she knew Eli was right. Grace clenched her hands together in a knot and looked back at him, "But I don't feel that way, anymore."  
  
"What do you mean?" Eli said dully.  
  
"Eli," Grace looked him straight in the eye, "Can't you give us another shot?"  
  
Eli shook his head, "You don't mean that." He stared at her blankly, "You're just afraid that you're losing me... for good."  
  
"Well, maybe I am!" Grace said defensively, "So?"  
  
"So... that's not the way to make choices... you can't live your life by your fears," Eli said, a spark finally coming into his eyes. "You have to do what feels right, Grace."  
  
Grace sighed, and her head dropped, "What if I don't know... what feels right?"  
  
"Then you have to wait until you do know," Eli said.  
  
Grace took this, and thought it over. Then she slowly moved to his doorway. "I do love you," Grace said fiercely.  
  
"I know that," Eli assured her. Grace left, closing the door behind her. Eli sank down onto his bed, thinking things over himself.  
  
[[Eli - You can't let fear decide things for you...]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Hi," Karen said, semi-warmly to Rick as she let him inside her house.  
  
Rick gave her a smile in return, "Why do you think he wanted us to meet together?"  
  
Karen frowned, "I thought it was so we could make a decision on the appropriate actions... about his skipping school."  
  
Rick frowned also, "Eli didn't say anything like that. And he has been going to all his classes ever since we talked about it."  
  
Karen just narrowed her eyes and looked away. The two of them waited in uncomfortable silence, and then finally Eli appeared in the living room.  
  
"Mom... Dad, I've made a decision about my future," Eli said to the attentive audience.  
  
Karen and Rick waited for the news.  
  
"I've decided that once I finished high school, I'm going to..." Eli paused, took a breath and said the rest, "...devote my time and energy to my band."  
  
"For the summer?" Karen said, almost pleadingly. This wasn't what she had expected to hear.  
  
"For... good," Eli said. He gave them a half-hearted smile, "I'm going to be a musician. We've already scored a good tour gig for the summer."  
  
Karen and Rick looked at each other with fear and revulsion in their eyes. A musician?? That was what Eli saw as his future???  
  
* * * 


	17. Live and Breathe

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 17//Live and Breathe  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
"Kids? Isn't it getting late?" Lily said to the dispassionate group at the kitchen table.  
  
Jessie managed not to express her distaste at the idea of heading off to school. The first day back from winter break. Jessie had kind of avoided seeing Katie over break. It had been easy, of course, with the new baby arriving and everything. Jessie just wasn't ready to confront Katie with this new information she held.... that Katie might be a lesbian.  
  
"It's already 7:30," Lily announced with a wide smile, after no one at the table budged. "Rick already dropped Zoe off earlier, but if you don't leave soon..."  
  
Grace couldn't help rolling her eyes. School was the last place she wanted to be going today. Grace had sort of avoiding Cynthia and Travis after seeing them kissing at school. She just... wasn't sure she was ready to have to be around them, when they were all over each other.  
  
"You're going to be late," Lily warned.  
  
Eli spooned the last of his cereal into his mouth. He didn't feel much like going to school himself. His conversation with his parents about his decisions for his future had not gone... well, at all. They had been extremely upset that Eli wasn't even considering the idea of college anymore. They weren't sure what to do with him, and Eli kept trying to tell them that they DIDN'T have to worry over what to do about him-- because Eli was old enough to make his own decisions now. If only they could grasp that idea.  
  
Finally it was Grace who moved first. "Let's go," She said simply as she got up from the table.  
  
The other two followed her out the door, all wearing similar expressions of weariness. Lily watched them go herself, and her cheery smile slowly faded from her face. She sighed as she went about cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Maybe whatever was bugging the kids was catching... because suddenly Lily, herself, was feeling in the dumps.  
  
* * *  
  
"Jessie!" Katie called, excitedly.  
  
Jessie turned, seeing her friend. Katie was alone, no Sarah in site, and Jessie felt okay enough to smile at her friend.  
  
[[Jessie - Maybe I mistook what I saw... maybe it meant nothing...]]  
  
"Where were you all break?" Katie asked, linking her arms through Jessie's as they walked. "I tried to call you a couple of times, but you were always busy. Tad said he tried to call you too, but you never called him back."  
  
"Oh," Jessie shrugged, "Oh... well, my dad's wife's ex-husband and his wife just had a baby on the 23rd." Jessie's nose crinkled up as she thought over what she had just said, "Did that make sense?"  
  
Katie smiled, "Totally. I have an odd, mixed up family too, so I totally followed you."  
  
Jessie smiled back. The girls paused as they reached Jessie's locker. Jessie undid the combination, and opened her locker. She suddenly remembered something, and unzipped the pocket on her backpack. She pulled out a picture of baby Ethan and showed it to Katie, "That's Ethan Jacob Manning."  
  
Katie oohed over the picture, "He's adorable."  
  
Jessie nodded. She took the picture back from Katie and used a magnet to hang it up on the inside of her locker.  
  
"Oh wait!" Katie said before Jessie closed her locker. Katie searched through her own locker and pulled out a slightly crumpled picture. She reached inside Jessie's locker and hung it up next to the picture of Ethan.  
  
Jessie looked at the picture. It was the picture that Katie had gotten Tad to take of the two of them outside the school a few weeks ago. They were both in their winter coats, which were the same color blue-- although they were different brands and styles. Jessie's cheeks in the picture were flushed pink circles as they got in the chilly weather and Katie's arm was around Jessie's shoulder. They both wore big smiles in the picture.  
  
"Thanks," Jessie said, looking back at Katie.  
  
Katie shrugged, "I had doubles."  
  
Jessie smiled, and shut the locker close on the pictures of Ethan and Katie and herself.  
  
[[Jessie - Because she seems so... normal. I mean, she doesn't act like she's gay or something. And even if she was... I mean, I'd still be friends with her. Because she's a really good friend.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace!" Cynthia cried.  
  
Grace turned and gave Cynthia what she hoped was a friendly smile. "Hey."  
  
"How was your break? I'm so sorry we never got together..." Cynthia smiled slyly, "I have news, actually."  
  
Grace believed she already knew this 'news', but she faked ignorance anyways. "Oh, really?"  
  
Cynthia nodded, and shyly said, "Travis and I... are going out, now!"  
  
"Wow," Grace said, pretending to be surprised, "When did that happen?"  
  
Cynthia shrugged, and leaned closer to Grace, "I guess we've been kind of heading towards it for a while. At first I thought we'd never be anything more than friends, and then... it just sort of happened. I'm still, like, all shocked about it."  
  
Grace smiled, "Well... I'm happy for you."  
  
Cynthia beamed.  
  
* * *  
  
"Are you getting out?" Eli asked finally.  
  
Grace looked across the car at him, "Are you?"  
  
They silently studied each other. They sat in their Honda, which was parked in the driveway. Jessie and Zoe had already scampered into the house a minute ago.  
  
"I'm going to practice," Eli said, "And you... can't drive legally by yourself yet."  
  
Grace nodded, "So... let me come with you."  
  
Eli looked back at her, and his expression warmed. "We've got a whole bunch of new songs."  
  
Grace smiled, probably her first real smile of the day, "I want to hear them."  
  
Eli put the car into reverse. Zoe, who had noticed their failure to enter the house, was watching from the window. She looked on curiously as she watched the two of them driving away together.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace!" Carla practically screamed as Grace entered Turk's house.  
  
Grace was surprised, beyond words, as Carla came from where she was lounging on the couch in the living room to hug Grace.  
  
"I haven't seen you in forever!" Carla said as she let Grace go. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."  
  
Grace snuck a look at Eli, who was getting his guitar out of its case. He didn't seem to be sharing any of Grace's surprise at seeing Carla here. Grace looked back at Carla, "So... what are you doing here?"  
  
Carla smiled, and snapped her gum, "Duh, Grace! I'm here to support my boyfriend's crappy music."  
  
Grace felt her stomach drop. She snuck another glance at Eli, who was still looking at his guitar.  
  
"Hey, I heard that!" Turk cried with faked anger as he came into the living room. "We're very talented musicians."  
  
Carla grinned, "That's what you think!" She looked at Grace, to share a humorous smile with her, but Grace's face was set to a frown.  
  
Eli came up behind Grace and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. Grace looked back up at him accusingly.  
  
"What?" Eli asked with a hint of a smile.  
  
Grace crossed her arms, and looked back at Carla, ready to launch into a full assault of her anger and shock at the two of them being a couple. How Eli could have not said anything? How could he-- Grace's thoughts were abruptly cut short as when she looked over, she saw Carla and Turk locked in a tight kiss.  
  
Eli gently squeezed her shoulder, and when Grace looked back at him, she knew... that Eli had known what she had thought Carla meant by her "boyfriend". Eli had known Grace had thought that Carla was talking about Eli as her boyfriend... and he had let her think that.  
  
Eli grinned his charming half-smile at her. Grace's mouth dropped open and she shook her head at him. That jerk, she tried to think... but she couldn't get the thought to stay. Maybe because she was just so relieved it wasn't true. "You jerk," Grace whispered aloud.  
  
Eli's hand lifted from her shoulder and brushed her soft cheek, "What?" He asked innocently... too innocently.  
  
Grace couldn't help but smile at him. She reached up and grabbed his hand that was brushing her cheek. His hand was so warm. Grace remembered Eli's words... 'you have to do what feels right'. Grace did just that, drawing his hand to her mouth and kissing it softly.  
  
Eli's smile faded slightly with surprise, but his eyes were still warm and gentle as he looked back on her.  
  
* * *  
  
"You would so look good with permed hair," Katie said, as she released the curling iron on a section of Jessie's hair, letting a spring of curl drop.  
  
Jessie smiled, and looked at herself in the mirror, as Katie moved on to a new section of hair, twisting it up around the curling iron. "I love your hair," Jessie said, switching her gaze in the mirror to admire Katie's straight, thick golden brown hair.  
  
Katie smiled, looking in the mirror, catching Jessie's stare. "Well, I love your hair... we can trade!"  
  
"Okay!" Jessie said, and the two drifted into giggles.  
  
Katie released the iron again, and then unplugged it as she stepped back to admire Jessie's now springy curled hair. Jessie lightly touched her curls, "Thanks."  
  
"No problem," Katie said, shoving the iron into one of her bathroom drawers.  
  
The two moved from the bathroom to Katie's connecting bedroom.  
  
Katie sprawled out on the queen size bed. Jessie uncomfortably stared down at her friend.  
  
[[Jessie - Should I just ask?]]  
  
Katie noticed Jessie's expression and sat up on the bed, making room for Jessie to sit. "Sorry.... Sit down."  
  
Jessie sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked at Katie, wondering.  
  
Katie looked away, and got up to grab a ponytail from her dresser. She drew her long brown up into a messy ponytail. Finally she came and sat back down on the bed; although this time she was further away from Jessie than before.  
  
Both girls looked away from the other.  
  
Finally Katie just said, "Is something wrong?" Her brown eyes looked at Jessie with a tint of hurt in them.  
  
Jessie shook her head, "Nothing's wrong."  
  
"Then why... are you acting so... off?" Katie asked, studying Jessie's face.  
  
Jessie sighed, looking to the side, "I just... was wondering about something. There's something I wanted to ask you about."  
  
"Then ask!" Katie said, a bit more brightly than before.  
  
[[Jessie - If I just ask... then she'll tell me the truth, and then I can stop thinking about it, because I'd know.]]  
  
Jessie fidgeted, running her fingers over one of Katie's silk pillows. She couldn't even look at Katie, as she said, "I kind of saw you kissing.... Sarah."  
  
"Oh, opps!" Katie grinned, "I guess we aren't as careful as we thought we were."  
  
Jessie looked up in surprise at Katie, "So, it's true?"  
  
Katie nodded, "Yeah. Sarah hasn't told anyone she's gay... so we have to keep a secret."  
  
Jessie frowned and lifted her eyebrows, "Even from me...?"  
  
Katie grimaced, "Jessie... I would have told you, but Sarah didn't want anyone to know."  
  
"Oh," Jessie looked back down at the purple heart pillow she held. "So, are you, like, in love... with her?"  
  
Katie shrugged, "I think I'm a little too young to know what love is. I mean, does anyone our age ever really know if they're in love?"  
  
* * *  
  
Grace watched Eli play with a ceaseless smile.  
  
[[Grace - I love Eli... I always have and I always will. I knew that when I broke up with him. My having feelings for Travis didn't change that either. If anything, I love Eli even more.]]  
  
Carla, sitting next to Grace, nudged her. Grace looked at Carla and nodded in agreement. She thought this song was really good, also. Carla grinned, and looked back at Turk, and Grace noticed the strong amount of emotion in Carla's eyes for the black-haired guitar player. Grace was glad for her friend. Carla deserved someone who would love her back. Grace turned her eyes back on Eli. He was looking at her, and their eyes met.  
  
[[Grace - It scared me, I guess... loving someone so much, when I'm so young. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. And I guess I began listening to other people and their thoughts... instead of listening to mine own. I let them influence me into thinking that maybe I needed to break from Eli to become my own person. But maybe, that was wrong. Maybe I could become my own person, while still... dating Eli.]]  
  
There was a pause between songs, and then Eli launched into the song Grace treasured. The song he had written for her almost a year ago and had put onto a CD for her, along with a bunch of the band's other songs, for her Valentine's Day gift last year. The song called, No Other Grace.  
  
There's a girl I cherish  
  
Brown eyes that will never perish  
  
I couldn't be more gone  
  
But this doesn't feel so wrong  
  
Nothing's left in my mind  
  
Thoughts of her taking up all my time  
  
There's no one else  
  
There's no other Grace  
  
No one could ever take her place  
  
And I try to live and breathe  
  
But I feel her inside of me  
  
I have nothing to fear  
  
Except the one I hold so dear  
  
So life goes on  
  
And I sing her song  
  
There's no one else  
  
There's no other Grace  
  
No one could ever take her place  
  
There's no other Grace  
  
* * * 


	18. Just Around the Bend

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Woo-hoo. My sister had her baby on Monday (May 5th - Cinco de Mayo!!). She had a beautiful baby girl, named Kendall Alexis. She is so pretty, and she looks so much like my sister! I'm an aunt! Woo-hoo!!!! I'm still so excited about it. But, I just wanted to share the good news, especially since this is one of the reasons I'm going to be busier than usually. The other mainly being that finals are coming up in a week. So, yeah, the next chapters might not be written as quickly as usual, but I'll try my best! Psst, oh yeah, I did write the lyrics for "No Other Grace." I had fun trying to make up rhymes!  
  
Chapter 18//Just Around the Bend  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Is that him?"  
  
Grace rolled her eyes, "Who else would it be?"  
  
Eli moved closer to where she sat on the living room couch. He looked down at little Ethan, who Grace held in her arms. "He's so... tiny," Eli said with a smile, "And he's got so much hair... for a baby."  
  
Grace nodded, and one of her fingers stroked the fine blond hair that adorned the baby's head. She looked back up at Eli, "Want to hold him?"  
  
Eli paused, "Oh... sure." He sat down, and Grace transferred little Ethan into Eli's waiting hands.  
  
"Isn't he beautiful?" Grace asked, unable to stop herself from resting her forehead against Eli's shoulder as she stared down at the baby.  
  
"He is," Eli said, and chuckled softly as Ethan's tiny mouth formed a big 'O'.  
  
Grace let her hand land on Eli's arm and she squeezed it lightly. It felt so good... so right to be this close next to him.  
  
[[Grace - If the train falls off the tracks... do you want your money back? *smiles* But what if you can get the train back in motion? What if you don't need your money back? What if you can just pick up where you left off? Just... *smiles* ...get back on the tracks...]]  
  
Zoe appeared in the living room entrance and looked at them critically. They were all cuddled together... ew. Zoe further entered the room and announced, "If you two are back together, I think you HAVE to tell the rest of us. Because it affects us too."  
  
Grace looked up, startled, and drew away from where she was leaning against Eli. "We're not, Zoe. And NO, we don't have to tell you anything!"  
  
Zoe paused and let out an exaggerated sigh, "Yes... you do. Or at least you should tell us, because if you DO get back together than we have to watch you two be all kissy-kissy with each other." Zoe rolled her eyes, "I want to be warned if that's going to happen again..."  
  
Grace just frowned at her sister, and turned her attention back to little Ethan. Zoe studied the two of them briefly, and then stomped away to her room.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace nodded distractedly as she looked down at her pocket calendar. Carla was going on and on about Turk this and Turk that, but Grace had kind of tuned her out. She was looking instead at her plans for next week... which did NOT include anything special for Valentine's Day.  
  
[[Grace - Last year, Eli and I were together for Valentine's Day. Well... I mean, we were a couple, but we didn't actually do anything to celebrate the holiday. I had to go to my father's restaurant opening instead.... *looks down at calendar in hand, and sighs* And this year... well, we're not a couple, anymore.]]  
  
"Grace?"  
  
Grace looked up, and offered a smile at the appearance of Cynthia and Travis at their lunch table. Grace noticed that the two of them were holding hands as they sat down across from her and Carla.  
  
"You guys have to come to Anti-Inflammatory's gig," Carla said excitedly. "Turk just got this new guitar, and it rocks. You have to see it. It's like... blue and white, and it's just cool."  
  
"Anti-Inflammatory?" Travis asked, tossing a few potato chips into his mouth.  
  
"Grace's stepbrother's band..." Carla said, shocked that Travis didn't already know who they were. She added with a sly smile, "My boyfriend's band."  
  
"Oh," Travis nodded, but didn't seem that interested.  
  
"What kind of music do they play?" Cynthia asked, after a bite of her sandwich.  
  
"Punk/rock/emo," Carla explained, "They have a really good sound. I can't believe you haven't been to one of their shows yet! They've been playing all the cool spots."  
  
Travis shrugged, "I don't know... I'm not really into that kind of music."  
  
Carla looked at him exasperated, "Are you for real?" She turned and looked at Cynthia, "Is he for real?"  
  
Cynthia smiled and nodded, "Travis actually has a thing for county music. He wants to take me to a country western bar this weekend!"  
  
Grace, who had driven home with Travis that one time, remembered his taste in music.  
  
Carla grimaced, "Country?" She rolled her eyes and munched on a carrot, "But you'll still come and support the band, right?"  
  
Travis shrugged, and reached up to smooth his hair back behind his ears, "Sorry, but it's just not my scene."  
  
Grace's expression grew a bit cloudier at that. She tried to hide her distaste by sipping her milk.  
  
[[Grace - *huffs* He can't even go to one gig to support a band that means a lot to Carla and me?]]  
  
"Well, maybe we could go," Cynthia offered.  
  
Travis shrugged again, "Maybe." But his voice lacked any hopefulness at that statement. It was clear he didn't want to go.  
  
Grace and Carla exchanged glances of annoyance. Cynthia looked down at her plate, a little shame-faced. Even she couldn't understand why Travis was so resistant to the idea.  
  
* * *  
  
"How did Cynthia and Travis hook up anyways?" Carla asked later that day. She didn't try to hide her grimace as she said, "They are just so... different."  
  
"I'm not sure how they hooked up. They just one day... were a couple," Grace explained. Then she shook her head, "But... actually, if anything, they're a lot alike. I don't know what was wrong with Travis today."  
  
Carla said with a straight face, "I guess the boy just likes his country."  
  
Grace and Carla looked at each other and laughed. Carla took off down the hall at a frantic pace, and Grace had no choice but run after her friend.  
  
[[Grace - *smiles* You know... I'm glad Carla's back. I guess I missed her. I didn't even realize that... *chuckles softly* Carla would be the first to agree that she isn't much of a friend at times, but still she's... Carla. And I like that. It's nice to have someone just be... themselves. No lies, no pretending.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"You told them... what?" Jessie asked, her mouth dropping ajar a bit as she added milk to her cereal.  
  
Eli frowned and shrugged, "Just... everything, I guess."  
  
Jessie dropped her spoon into the bowl and looked over at Eli. "And that is?" She prodded him.  
  
"Just that this is what I want to do... I want to be a musician," Eli said, a smile growing over his face as he said the words. He was glad he had told his parents the truth and just got it out there.  
  
[[Eli - It feels nice... to just be honest. Even though, I know my parents hate the idea of me not going to college, and instead focusing on music. But, hey, I told them. I told them. *half-smiles* It's out there. And it doesn't have to bother me anymore. I don't have to let it tear me up inside... because, hey... it's out there. I told them, and they might not like it, but... they don't have to like it.]]  
  
"So, you're NOT going to college," Jessie said, a bit critically, as she swallowed a spoonful of Golden Grahams.  
  
Eli looked sideways at her, "Did I ever SAY I was going to college?"  
  
Jessie thought about it, "Well... no, but I assumed that..."  
  
Eli shook his head.  
  
Jessie tried again, "Well, mom and dad are always talking about it..."  
  
Eli shook his head again, "Yeah, they assumed I wanted to go to college, too. But, I cleared that out now. They know now what I want to do."  
  
"So, you're just going to play music for the rest of your life?" Jessie asked, raising her eyebrows.  
  
"Maybe," Eli said with a shrug.  
  
"You think that you're good enough?" Jessie looked at her brother, "I mean, good enough to make it?"  
  
Eli shrugged again, and then nodded, "Maybe... maybe. We can try, at least. And we can get better. We can learn."  
  
Jessie looked down at her cereal bowl, hiding an eye roll from her brother.  
  
"We've already got a good touring gig lined up for this summer," Eli said proudly.  
  
"You do?" Jessie asked, somewhat surprised.  
  
Grace, having entered the kitchen just as Eli was talking, also chimed in, "You do?"  
  
Eli glanced behind himself, seeing Grace standing there. Their eyes met.  
  
[[Grace - He does?]]  
  
Eli looked from Grace to Jessie, and then back to Grace. He looked at her confused eyes, and he couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't thought of it earlier...  
  
[[Eli - This tour gig means... months away from Grace. Months. But, that shouldn't matter, because... we're not together. *sighs* It shouldn't matter, but it... does. *looks down at hands* I love her. And even though we're not a couple right now, I still... I still just like to be able to see her, and to sense her. Because every time I look at her, I'm reminded of my love for her... and her love for me.]]  
  
"Oh brother," Jessie muttered under her breath, after seeing the tension between Eli and Grace. Jessie picked up her bowl and quickly exited to the living room. Letting the two people who obviously still love each other but are broken apart for some reason no one quite knows, be alone together.  
  
"So, you guys got a tour gig?" Grace said finally. "That's great."  
  
Eli nodded, "Yeah. It's with Delivery, they are a pretty popular band right now, and it should be good."  
  
"Yeah, I've heard of Delivery. Carla really likes them," Grace forced a smile, "It sounds great."  
  
"It is," Eli said, although his answer was lackluster in emotion.  
  
"So, it's for... the whole summer?" Grace asked.  
  
"Pretty much," Eli admitted.  
  
Grace forced another smile, "That's great... for you."  
  
"It is," Eli said again.  
  
They lapsed into silence. Grace was looking at the floor and Eli was looking at her. She was so beautiful. The way her brown hair caught the light and the way she tried not to show her emotions, but it was always clear to him what she was feeling... like right now, Eli knew Grace was miserable.  
  
"It's only for the summer," Eli said.  
  
Grace nodded, her hair swinging slightly, as she lifted her chin and looked into his eyes. She looked away, at the fridge. "I'm thirsty," She mumbled, opening the fridge door.  
  
Eli stared at her back, his shoulders slumping.  
  
* * *  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day!"  
  
Grace looked away from the embracing couple in the hallway, her stomach turning. This was too much. There were too many red hearts taped up on the school walls... there were too many faces with dazed looks of love... there were too many girls dressed in lacy pink and red dresses as they gushed over chocolate candies and dead flowers.  
  
Grace, herself, was wearing a black shirt and black pants... not as some anti-valentine statement, but just because her mother was running behind on the laundry and it was either this or borrow something from Jessie.  
  
"Hey Grace!" Cynthia called out, as she passed by.  
  
Grace looked up and managed to wave at Cynthia, although her stomach was quickly knotting up inside. Cynthia waved back, and Grace couldn't help but notice the half-dozen roses the pink-dress-wearing Cynthia held in one hand.  
  
Grace turned back to her locker, already wanting this day to be over, although it was just beginning.  
  
Grace opened her locker, and paused in surprise as she looked inside. A red envelope was lying on top of her books. It was clear that someone had stuffed it through the slots on the locker door. But the real question was who did it and why would they want to give her a valentine?  
  
Grace picked the card up, and turned it over.  
  
~Grace~  
  
It said on the front. It was Eli's handwriting. Grace smiled, her face growing warm with joy. Her eyes were already growing misty, and she hadn't even opened the damn card.  
  
Grace loved Eli with such a strong force at that moment, that it scared her. Was it possible to love someone this much? And if she loved him this much, then why did she ever break up with him? Why did she ever think...?  
  
Grace's fingers neatly opened the scarlet envelope and she slipped out the card. The front was a typical Valentine card... with an artsy drawing of colorful hearts and flowers. Grace opened it. The inside read in the printed Hallmark text:  
  
It's a time for sharing feelings with those you cherish.  
  
It's a time to let the past be behind you and look ahead to the future.  
  
It's a time for Celebration.  
  
It's Valentine's Day.  
  
And then, below, in Eli's handwriting:  
  
I don't know what I can say in a little card. Not much. But, here I go... Grace, I love you. You know that. We've kind of hit some bumps in our relationship this year, but that's okay. It doesn't change the way I feel about you. And, look, okay... I won't do this tour gig, if you don't want me to. I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. Just tell me not to go, and I won't. Well, so... Happy Valentine's Day.  
  
Love, Eli  
  
* * * 


	19. Theories of Light Speed

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
WOW, thanks guys for the reviews! You keep me motivated! My sister and the baby are doing just fine, and got released from the hospital today. Baby Kendall is a sweetie. She's adorable. Anyways, as always, thanks for reading/reviewing!!!  
  
Chapter 19//Theories of Light Speed  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"What's up with you?" Carla asked as she studied Grace's face.  
  
Grace blinked, and slowly gathered herself before she answered Carla, "What do you mean?"  
  
Carla rolled her eyes and snapped her gum, "You look... weird."  
  
"Oh?" Grace looked away from Carla's peering eyes, and off into the little club. Anti-Inflammatory was playing at Sky Gem... a small club that was known for having the best bands play it.  
  
[[Grace - *holding valentine card from Eli* He said if I didn't want him to go, he wouldn't go... But... *looks at card*]]  
  
"Yeah, you look like... like your whole brain is consumed by one thought, or something," Carla shrugged. She looked up at the stage, "Hey, they're getting ready!"  
  
Grace looked up too, and her eyes fell on Eli, as he hooked up his guitar to the amp, and checked the microphones. Eli looked down into the crowd, and saw her. He smiled and lifted his hand slightly in a wave. Grace lifted her hand in a similar wave.  
  
[[Grace - *looks at camera* But, how can I make that decision for him? I don't want to make that decision for him. I know he really wants to do this... I don't want to be the one holding him back from doing what he wants. I don't want to be like his anchor, tying him down.]]  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Grace and Carla turned in surprise as Cynthia and Travis moved towards their table.  
  
"I didn't think you guys were coming!" Carla said, sipping her soda.  
  
"Me neither," Grace agreed. From the way Travis had talked, Grace had thought it very unlikely the two would come.  
  
Cynthia shrugged, "Well, we are!" She pulled up a chair at their table and Travis did the same.  
  
Grace looked across the table, and found herself looking into Travis' eyes. His blue eyes stared back at her briefly before fluttering off to look at the stage. Grace looked down at her drink.  
  
"That's Turk," Carla whispered to Cynthia, pointing at the dark- haired guy on stage.  
  
Cynthia nodded, "He's hot." She looked at Travis, ready for him to joke with her about what she had just said. But Travis was still staring at the stage, not seeming to care that his girlfriend just called another guy 'hot'. Cynthia frowned and glanced at Grace.  
  
Grace, unsure of why Cynthia was looking at her that way, returned her own eyes back down at her soda. Looking at her drink seemed to be the only safe place.  
  
Carla looked at Grace too, after catching Cynthia's glare at Grace. She was about to ask some questions and get to the bottom of this, but then the band began playing. Carla turned her attention back up at Turk, forgetting about the peculiar tension between Cynthia and Carla.  
  
* * *  
  
"That's your brother?" Katie asked, raising her voice above the music.  
  
Jessie nodded, allowing herself a proud smile. She hadn't been to any of the band's gigs lately, but they were... excellent. They had gotten a lot better since the last time she had seen them. They had more songs, and the coolest thing was that people in the audience Jessie didn't recognize were singing along to the lyrics. Anti-Inflammatory was really becoming known.  
  
"He's hot," Katie said with a smile.  
  
Jessie looked at Katie, her eyes wide.  
  
Katie caught her look and shrugged, "I can say a guy's hot... it doesn't change the fact that I like girls."  
  
Jessie blushed, as Katie had said that last line really loud, and two guys at the table next to them looked over with leering faces. Jessie wondered if they thought that SHE was Katie's girlfriend.  
  
"What's that smile for?" Katie asked, startling Jessie, who hadn't realized she had been smiling.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Jessie said quickly. She looked down at her soda, and took a sip. Then she looked back at Katie, and smiled again without realizing it.  
  
* * *  
  
"You were great!" Carla squealed as Turk came out from backstage after their set had ended. She threw herself on him, and Turk caught her easily. They kissed passionately.  
  
Grace looked behind them, at Eli, who had stopped at the table near the front, where Jessie and Katie sat and was now heading for their table. She missed him. She missed kissing him. She missed sharing her thoughts with him.  
  
Eli hesitated in his journey to their table, and his previously warm eyes turned cold. Grace looked at him, surprised.  
  
"Travis, ready to go?" Cynthia asked. ".....Travis?"  
  
Grace cut her hurt eyes away from Eli and focused on Travis. Travis was looking directly at Eli, and Grace now saw why Eli's eyes had changed. It was because he had seen, and recognized, Travis. Why hadn't Grace realized something like this might happen?  
  
"Great show!" Cynthia cried as Eli finally joined their table. "You guys rocked."  
  
"Thanks," Eli said, adverting his eyes from Travis to throw a smile in the direction of Cynthia.  
  
Cynthia looked back and forth from Travis and Eli, and then finally her eyes settled on Grace. Grace looked back at her friend, shocked by the hurt and anger in Cynthia's eyes. Cynthia was looking at Grace like she was the cause for Cynthia's pain. But what had Grace done?  
  
"So, Travis... ready?" Cynthia asked, still looking at Grace.  
  
Grace looked over at Travis, who was having a stare-down with Eli. He didn't even bother to answer Cynthia.  
  
"So, you're Grace's stepbrother," Travis said, addressing Eli.  
  
Eli gave a small nod, "And you're that guy from the play."  
  
Grace nervously watched the two of them, her heart beating a little faster. Both of them looked ready to start throwing fists, or something. But what Grace didn't get was why Travis cared.  
  
[[Grace - Why would Travis have anything against Eli? I mean, I know why Eli doesn't like Travis, but... Travis doesn't even know Eli. So, why would he...?]]  
  
The two boys silently regarded one another. Grace waited tensely for... anything. Cynthia loudly got up from her chair, throwing a disgusted look at Travis, and a sad look at Grace. Cynthia left, hurrying to the club's doors. Travis either didn't notice, or he didn't care.  
  
"Eli," Grace said quickly, "We should be getting back home."  
  
Travis finally turned away from Eli, and he looked at Grace. Grace was shocked by the look on his face.  
  
[[Grace - It almost looked like... like Travis had feelings for me or something. But, that can't be true. He's with Cynthia. And... it just doesn't make sense.]]  
  
Eli waited until Travis looked back at him, and gave a pointed sneer in Travis' direction. "Yeah, let's go home, together," He said, slinging an arm around Grace.  
  
Grace, disgusted by Eli's need to 'mark his territory' by putting his arm around her, slipped away from his clutch. She didn't want to be a pawn in this game. She didn't want any part of it.  
  
[[Grace - Men.... are boys. Just foolish boys. *sighs*]]  
  
Grace walked out of the club, Eli following closely behind her.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where's your girlfriend?" Carla said, as she and Turk broke from their kisses to find Travis sitting alone at the table.  
  
"Girlfriend?" Travis asked unsurely.  
  
"Uh, Cynthia?" Carla said, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Right," Travis got up from the table. He looked down at his sneakered feet and sighed, "I think I might have lost her."  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace!" Eli called.  
  
Grace continued up the driveway. She had been silent the whole ride home. Eli's anger at seeing Travis had faded away, and now he just felt stupid for acting the way he had.  
  
[[Eli - I had almost been about to punch Travis. That's how mad I was. I was ready to just knock him one.]]  
  
"Wait," Eli called and caught up to Grace. He grabbed onto her arm. "Listen to me."  
  
Grace turned, her eyes glowing in the moonlight, "Yeah?"  
  
Eli relaxed, glad that Grace was giving him a chance to explain at least. "I'm sorry. I just... seeing him just made me so mad."  
  
Grace nodded, she folded her arms across her chest.  
  
"I shouldn't have acted like such a jerk," Eli sighed, "But seeing him, just hurt me. I couldn't stand to see his sneaky face!"  
  
"Sneaky face...?" Grace repeated.  
  
"Well, look at what he did, Grace," Eli said after a short pause.  
  
Grace looked up at Eli, her brow wrinkling, "What do you mean? Travis' done nothing... it was me, who thought I had feelings for him, not the other way around."  
  
Eli shook his head, aghast at Grace's confusion. Couldn't she see...? Didn't she realize?  
  
"I'm going inside," Grace said finally when Eli was silent.  
  
Eli took her hand in his and said, "Come in the garage first."  
  
Grace followed him into his garage apartment. She stared at his back, waiting for what he had to say.  
  
Eli began talking before he even turned around to look at her, "Grace, it's obvious that Travis has feelings for you. Look at how he acted tonight."  
  
"Yeah, that was weird, but... he's dating Cynthia. They've been dating a while," Grace informed him.  
  
"Maybe so," Eli shrugged, unsure of whether to say more. "Grace, but, it was clear to me that Travis had feelings for you long before tonight."  
  
"What?" Grace was stunned.  
  
"The play... the kiss. Not only did I see your feelings for him, but I also could see his feelings for you in that kiss. He liked you. He still does."  
  
Grace shook her head, looking into Eli's eyes. She laughed, "That's so not true. Why would he be dating Cynthia, then?"  
  
"Because he knows that you are attached to me. And tonight he saw me, and well, he was as angry as I was," Eli commented.  
  
Grace nodded. Slowly, it was all making sense. She felt bad for Cynthia. The looks Cynthia had been giving her all night made sense, even Cynthia could see that her boyfriend, Travis, had feelings for Grace. How that must have hurt her.  
  
Eli looked seriously at Grace, "But the important question is... whether or not, you STILL have feelings for Travis. Because... maybe then... that's who you should be with."  
  
Grace looked at Eli, her eyes widening.  
  
* * * 


	20. When You've Got Nothing

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading/reviewing, as always. Oh, and I did put a pic of the new baby up on my website. It's on the first page, if you scroll down a little. Kendall looks just like my sister. Sorry, I've been so slow on updating... but I've been super busy. :)  
  
Chapter 20// When you've got Nothing  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
(Continues after Eli asked if Grace had feelings for Travis in the last chapter...)  
  
"Of course not!" Grace muttered, still surprised. She looked at Eli, her eyes watering up. "Don't you see that? Can't you see that I love you?"  
  
Eli paused, his hand resting on his forehead. "Grace... but you told me you had feelings for him... before."  
  
Grace nodded, "But I also told you they weren't nearly as strong as the feelings I had for you. I never loved Travis. I liked him... as maybe something a little more than a friend, but that was it."  
  
Eli sighed, "Grace... I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this... I mean, you admitted to liking him."  
  
Grace shook her head, a tear escaping down her cheek, "I don't know, either, Eli."  
  
"But, I have something I need to say," Eli looked into Grace's eyes.  
  
Grace looked back, nervously biting her lower lip.  
  
Eli brought a hand up to caress her cheek, "I've missed you..."  
  
Grace face eased into a wide smile.  
  
"And I love you," Eli continued, "And I think... we can get past this. I think we're strong enough... and Grace... I just don't want to be without you, anymore."  
  
Grace trembled under his touch as he brought his other hand up and cupped her face. "I love you, too," Grace whispered. "And I..."  
  
Eli shushed her and slowly moved in. He paused when their lips were inches apart. He looked in Grace's brown eyes, "Is the right thing to do?"  
  
Grace nodded. She couldn't picture herself without Eli, anymore. When she broke up with him, a part of her had always thought that they would end up back together. Grace had just wanted a little space to see who she really was. And she found out that... this... was who she was. She was Grace - Eli's girlfriend. She was also Grace - who loved acting, and reading, and writing. Who loved soccer, and sunny days. She was Grace. She had always been Grace, she had just let herself believe that she needed to break away from Eli to see that.  
  
Eli moved forward and Grace finally felt his lips brushing against hers. Her cheeks were wet with tears, and her feet ached from being stuffed into her heels for too long. But it didn't matter... all she wanted to be doing right now was kissing Eli.  
  
Eli extended her hands around her body and drew her closer into him as their kisses continued. He felt an extreme pressure lifting off his heart, and he was glad... glad to have his Grace back.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey Jessie," Lily said cheerfully as the girl entered through the kitchen door. "How was the band's gig?"  
  
Jessie smiled, "It was great. They are really good..."  
  
Lily smiled, and continued about making herself and Rick a bowl of ice cream. She gestured towards Jessie with the ice cream scoop, "Want some Rocky Road?"  
  
Jessie shrugged, then nodded. She sat down at the isle while Lily scooped some ice cream into a bowl.  
  
Lily pushed the bowl towards Jessie, "Did Grace say she was getting a ride home with Carla or...?"  
  
Jessie shook her head, "She got a ride with Eli."  
  
"Hmm," Lily swallowed a spoonful of ice cream. She glanced at the clock, "Did they say when they were going to get home?"  
  
Jessie looked up, puzzled, "Eli's car is already in the driveway."  
  
"Oh," Lily grew puzzled too, "I guess Grace might have snuck up to her room without me seeing her."  
  
Jessie contemplated this over a bite of ice cream. Finally she said, "Or she might be out talking with Eli in the garage..."  
  
Lily, sensing Jessie was holding back something asked, "Why do you think that?"  
  
Jessie shrugged, "Just they seemed to be upset or something at the club." Jessie stood up, carrying her bowl of ice cream with her as she exited to the living room.  
  
Lily stood, thinking, as the ice cream began to melt.  
  
* * *  
  
"You should go," Grace said, a while later as she pulled away from Eli's embrace.  
  
"Go where?" Eli asked with a confused grin.  
  
"On the tour," Grace said. She looked at him.  
  
[[Grace - He has to go. He can't give this up because of me.]]  
  
"Grace," Eli began, shaking his head. "Maybe I don't want to go, anymore..."  
  
"No, you do," Grace contradicted him. "I know you do. Don't give it up because of me."  
  
Eli looked at her sadly. He didn't want to leave her for an entire summer. No matter how awesome this tour gig would be, it still meant he'd have to be away from the one person who touched his soul in a way no one had every done before. Eli didn't know if he could handle leaving Grace behind.  
  
"This a great chance for you... and the rest of the band, too. They'd be disappointed if you didn't go... and you'd be disappointed too, I know you would," Grace continued, putting on a brave face. The idea of Eli leaving for so long hurt... it really hurt.  
  
* * *  
  
Lily had abandoned her ice cream, and crept to the door to Eli's garage apartment with a slim pile of laundry. She wasn't... spying. She was just being a good step-mother and bringing Eli his clothes.  
  
Still, she hesitated to knock. She instead got closer to the closed door. She listened. When she still couldn't hear anything, she pressed her ear to the door.  
  
* * *  
  
Eli and Grace sat, dejectedly, on the edge of his bed. They both hated the idea of Eli going off and leaving Grace behind. But, they both felt like it... had to be done.  
  
Eli shuffled his feet and sighed.  
  
"I just wish I could go with you..." Grace said finally.  
  
Eli nodded, "Me too." He tried again, "Grace, I don't have to go..."  
  
Grace shook her head firmly, "You do."  
  
Eli blinked. He looked at Grace's sullen profile, "Why don't you come with me?"  
  
Grace blinked herself, "What? On tour?"  
  
Eli nodded, growing excited, "Well... why not? You're practically like a fifth member of our band."  
  
Grace felt her heart jump at the idea, only to crash back down, "My mother and father would never let me..."  
  
Eli frowned, but he was too eager to give up the idea so quickly, "We can talk to them. You'll be 16... that's not so young. Other people your age go off for the summer to be camp counselors and stuff."  
  
Grace nodded, "But still. My mother wouldn't be so eager to let her daughter go off unsupervised on a three-month long tour around the country with her boyfriend."  
  
"So, we don't tell them we're back together!" Eli said, still unwilling to give up this idea. It would be so amazing if he could have Grace with him on the tour. If he could share this amazing experience with the one he loved. "If we just tell them how you'd be helping us with the equipment, selling the CDs and merchandise and such... like a road-hand. And we could even cut you some of the money, and so it would actually be, like a real job."  
  
Grace shrugged, allowing herself a small hopeful smile, "My mom has been telling me I should look for a job this summer."  
  
"It's worth a shot, isn't it?" Eli asked.  
  
Grace nodded, "It is."  
  
They smiled at each other, they faces lined with hope. Eli leaned in, kissing Grace's nose. Grace lifted her chin, and kissed his lips eagerly.  
  
* * *  
  
Lily drew back from the door. She frowned as she headed back into the house. She tossed Eli's laundry back on top of the laundry machine.  
  
"Hey!" Rick said, entering the kitchen. He went to the island, and frowned. "Our ice cream melted."  
  
"Oh," Lily forced a smile, although she was still unsure of how to deal with what she had just overheard. "I guess I got distracted."  
  
Rick smiled, "No problem. I'm not in the mood for ice cream, anymore..."  
  
Lily smiled, "What are you in the mood for?"  
  
Rick leaned in, kissing his wife softly.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace gave Eli one last kiss. She paused at his doorway, looking back at him. This may actually work... if they played their cards right, Grace might be able to convince her mother to let her go on the tour gig with Eli. It required a lot of talking, and some pleading. And, of course, they couldn't let anyone find out they were back together, because that might ruin everything. They had to keep it a secret.  
  
Eli smiled and blew Grace a kiss. Grace smiled back, and closed the door behind her. She snuck into the house, quickly going up the stairs before anyone noticed where she had just been. They had to be careful.  
  
* * * 


	21. Give it Truth or Give it Space

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Sorry, Sorry! I've been taking forever with my updates! But, I'm back  
now.  
  
Chapter 21//Give it Truth or Give it Space  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Cynthia?" Grace asked unsurely on Monday morning. She hadn't talked to her friend all weekend... she wasn't even sure if Cynthia was still her friend, after what happened at the club with Travis and Eli.  
  
Cynthia looked over and surprised Grace with her usual wide smile. "Morning."  
  
Grace looked around the quickly-filling hallway. This wasn't the place to discuss it, but she just HAD to ask her. "So, uh, are you and Travis...?"  
  
Cynthia's smile faltered, but just for a brief second. "Oh, yeah, we kind of decided it was best if we jus be friends." Cynthia closed her locker just a little too hard. She turned back to Grace, "It's not your fault."  
  
"My fault?" Grace echoed.  
  
Cynthia nodded, and twisted a section of her brown curls, "Well... I know you never tried to get with Travis or anything like that. It's not your fault that he likes you better."  
  
"That's not true!" Grace urged, but Cynthia's sad eyes remained fixed.  
  
"It is," She said slowly, and took a deep breath, "But, I'm okay with it."  
  
Grace took a deep breath herself. This wasn't what she had expected.  
  
[[Grace - This isn't what I wanted! Everything was just getting back to normal with Eli and me... and now this. *sighs* Why does everything have to be so complicated?]]  
  
"I wouldn't... I'm not going to date him," Grace said quickly.  
  
Cynthia shrugged, "Don't make promises you aren't sure you'll keep."  
  
"But I am sure!" Grace cried.  
  
Cynthia's eyes were doubtful. The first bell rang, and she gave Grace a small smile as she parted.  
  
Grace remained fixed to her spot, her body tense. She didn't want this!  
  
[[Grace - I just want to forget I ever felt anything for Travis. Those feelings are done! And... I've got Eli back now. *small smile* I'm not screwing it up this time.]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, there's Sarah," Jessie said as she and Katie walked across the lunch room.  
  
"So?" Katie snipped.  
  
Jessie wrinkled her brow in confusion and followed Katie to a table near the wall. "How come you don't want to sit with her?" Jessie asked as she dropped her backpack onto an empty chair.  
  
Katie looked up at Jessie with surprise, "You don't know?"  
  
"Know what?" Jessie said, mystified.  
  
Katie glanced over her shoulder, looking briefly at where Sarah sat with a bunch of the other drama club people. She looked back at Jessie, "Sarah and I broke up."  
  
"You did?" Jessie asked.  
  
Katie nodded, glancing over once more at Sarah. She looked back at Jessie, her eyes filled with indifference, "It just wasn't meant to be, I guess."  
  
Jessie's eyes fell down to look at her dull lunch food. She couldn't believe Katie and Sarah broke up... it was just such a surprise.  
  
* * *  
  
"So, I'm totally there!" Carla said excitedly.  
  
Eli closed his locker door and looked at Carla, "What?"  
  
"The tour!" Carla said, rolling her eyes. "My dad said he wouldn't let me go, because it was all 'unsupervised' and I'm like only 16, but I'm supposed to be spending the summer with my mom, anyways, so really it's her decision." Carla paused and gave a big smile, "And I know she's going to let me go... even if it is really just to spite my dad."  
  
"That's... good," Eli said, "You and Turk will have a great time."  
  
[[Eli - I hope Grace and I can get her parents to let her come too... we'd have the best time.]]  
  
Carla nodded, "Yup." She studied Eli for a moment. There was something hopeful about his expression. "Are you and Grace...?"  
  
Eli shook his head quickly, "No."  
  
Carla's smile widened, "You are! You're back together!" She punched Eli lightly on his arm, "That's great!"  
  
Eli looked around, hoping no one had heard Carla.  
  
[[Eli - The only way we'll be able to get Grace's parents to agree to it... is if we don't tell them we're back together. They can't find out.]]  
  
"Don't tell anyone," Eli reprimanded Carla.  
  
Carla rolled her eyes, "Fine. You CAN trust me, you know?"  
  
Eli smiled, "I don't know about that, sometimes."  
  
Carla smiled gleefully.  
  
* * *  
  
Lily sighed, as she looked over at the clock. She had came home from her job at the radio station early today. There was something she needed to talk to Rick about... something important.  
  
Lily sat up straighter as she heard the front door opening downstairs, but by the jabble of voices, she could tell it was just the kids coming home from school. Besides, Rick didn't get home till after four usually, and sometimes not till after five. Lily would just have to wait.  
  
She fell back on the bed, relaxing against the firm mattress. Her eyelids drooped.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
Lily sat up again, looking at the doorway. "Yes, Zoe?"  
  
Zoe entered the room, and cuddled up next to her mother on the bed. "Can I get a dog?" Zoe asked after a moment's pause.  
  
"A dog?" Lily echoed.  
  
"Please!" Zoe begged.  
  
"I don't know... we'll have to see," Lily said, as she straightened Zoe's long cascade of brown hair.  
  
Zoe pulled away, knowing from experience that 'we'll have to see' equaled a 'no'. She frowned at her mother, "Why not?"  
  
"Zoe," Lily said with a forced smile, "Isn't this house already crowded enough without a dog? Plus, it's a big responsibility."  
  
"I'm sure you'd let Grace have a dog if she wanted!" Zoe said angrily.  
  
"Zoe!" Lily called, but Zoe was already flying out the door.  
  
Lily relaxed on her bed again, her hands resting on her stomach. Downstairs she now heard Zoe's voice joining the voices of Jessie, Grace and Eli.  
  
[[Lily - ....Grace and Eli.... *sighs* They think that no one knows they're back together... but I know. I only know because I was, well, eavesdropping. *frowns* I don't know what to do about it... They want to go away together, on Eli's tour. For the whole summer. I just don't know what to say to that.]]  
  
Lily's eyes finally fell shut again and she gently faded away to sleep, the problem of Eli and Grace on her mind.  
  
* * *  
  
"Lily?"  
  
Lily rolled over, opening her eyes. Rick smiled down sweetly at her. "What time is it?" Lily asked.  
  
"A little after seven," Rick told her.  
  
"Seven?" Lily said with surprise, sitting up. "Did you just get home?"  
  
"No," Rick held out a hand, helping her to her feet. "I got home two hours ago, and I made the kids dinner, and I let you sleep."  
  
"I didn't realize I was so tired," Lily said with a yawn.  
  
"Zoe and Grace seem to be fighting again," Rick informed her.  
  
Lily's yawn turned into a sigh, "Yeah. They're always fighting. They just need more space from each other... then they wouldn't get on each other's nerves so much."  
  
"Well, we could get Grace her own apartment," Rick joked.  
  
Lily gave a small smile. "So, did you happen to leave any dinner for me?" She asked, as her stomach growled.  
  
"I did," Rick confirmed, "That's why I was coming up here to wake you."  
  
"Great," Lily said with a real smile this time.  
  
Rick turned to begin to head out of the room, but Lily grabbed onto his hand, stopping him. "There's something important I think we should talk about first."  
  
"I'm all ears," Rick said, waiting.  
  
* * *  
  
"Well, I don't want a dog," Jessie said from where she sat on the couch, next to Zoe and Eli.  
  
"No one asked you!" Zoe snipped. She frowned and sank further into the couch cushion. It looked like she'd never get a dog. Everyone was against it!  
  
"Why don't you get a turtle or a fish or a lizard or something?" Eli suggested.  
  
"I don't want a turtle or a fish or something. I want a dog," Zoe said icily. She looked at Jessie, "Why don't you want a dog?"  
  
Jessie pretended not to hear her, instead focusing in on the TV show.  
  
Zoe sighed. Grace entered the living room, and Zoe glared at her sister. "This is all because of you!"  
  
Grace glared back at her sister, "Well, I'm sorry if I don't want a dog! Gosh, Zoe, you're so selfish. No one wants a dog, but you."  
  
Zoe frowned. She leaped up from the couch, and stomped up the stairs.  
  
Grace rolled her eyes after her departing sister.  
  
The phone rang and Jessie danced away to answer it, claiming she knew it was for her.  
  
Grace and Eli were alone. Grace sat next to him and they snuck a quick kiss.  
  
"Someone might see," Eli warned, but neither could stop themselves from a second kiss. "Are you going to ask your mom?" Eli asked.  
  
Grace nodded, "Yeah, soon."  
  
They smiled eagerly at each other.  
  
Footsteps sounded on the stairs. Lily and Rick were coming down. Grace and Eli moved a bit further apart on the couch. As Lily descended the final step, she turned and looked at Grace and Eli, "We need to talk to you."  
  
Grace felt a knot start in her stomach. Did they know about Eli and her being back together? They couldn't know! It would ruin everything!  
  
Zoe was coming down the stairs behind them. Lily looked up at her, "We need to talk... to all of you."  
  
Zoe joined the other two on the couch, and Grace felt even more nervous. Why did they have to talk to all of them? This couldn't just be about her and Eli... could it?  
  
Rick came back from the kitchen, with a confused Jessie. Jessie didn't understand what they had to talk about that couldn't wait until after she finished talking with Katie.  
  
"Kids," Lily began, "We have some important news."  
  
"We're getting a dog?" Zoe asked, hopefully.  
  
"Even better," Rick replied, "We're having a baby."  
  
Rick and Lily put their arms around each other and waited for their kid's reactions.  
  
"You're pregnant?" Grace said, relieved that this wasn't about her and Eli after all.  
  
"I'm getting a sister!" Jessie said excitedly.  
  
"Where are you going to put it?" Zoe asked.  
  
"Honey, we have eight months to figure that out," Lily said with a smile. She was glad that Rick had been so happy when she had told him. This baby hadn't been planned, but they both were excited about it. They looked at her pregnancy as an unexpected blessing.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm happy for you, mom," Grace said, later that night.  
  
"Are you?" Lily asked, searching her daughter's face.  
  
Grace nodded, "I really am." She paused, hesitated.  
  
"Did you have something you wanted to talk about?" Lily urged her.  
  
"Well, yeah... there's something I wanted to do," Grace said, then waved a hand, "But, maybe now's not the time."  
  
"Sure it is," Lily said with a smile.  
  
Grace walked closer to where her mother was sitting in the living room chair. Lily muted the TV and waited. "There's this job..." Grace began.  
  
"Uh-huh," Lily said, faking like she didn't know what Grace was leading up to.  
  
"With Eli's band. You know, like on the tour. They'll pay me if I come along and act as their road-hand and whatever. It's a really good opportunity, and I'll get to make a good amount of money, and I'll get to travel to a bunch of states I've never been to..." Grace rambled on.  
  
"Okay," Lily said, cutting her off.  
  
"Okay?" Grace repeated, surprised.  
  
"You can go," Lily said, "As long as your father agrees. I think it will be really fun for you."  
  
Grace was still astounded that her mother had agreed so quickly, "Really?"  
  
"Yup," Lily leaned in, and kissed Grace's forehead. She couldn't help but add, "And you and Eli are such close friends, I know you'll have a good time together."  
  
Grace's eyes fell to her hands. She hated lying to her mother about Eli and her, but it was the only way she could have gotten her mother to agree to the trip.  
  
Lily smiled. Yes, she knew Eli and Grace were back together, and yes, she was sending her daughter off on a summer-long trip with her boyfriend, but.... this just felt like the right thing to do.  
  
Grace looked up, "Thanks mom."  
  
* * * 


	22. Fields of Innocence

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 22//Fields of Innocence  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
"Will you get to see the baby?" Jessie asked excitedly as Rick and Lily were heading towards the door.  
  
"No, not yet, honey," Rick answered, "The baby's too small for an ultrasound."  
  
Jessie grinned, "I can't believe I'm getting a sister!"  
  
"It could be a boy," Zoe piped up from where she sat at the kitchen table.  
  
Jessie shrugged, "I guess, but I already have a brother!"  
  
"You already have a sister too... me and Grace," Zoe reminded her with an annoyed frown.  
  
"You kids be good now," Lily said quickly, before an argument could escalate. "Jessie, your mom will be by later to pick up you."  
  
"Just me?" Jessie asked, confused, "What about Eli?"  
  
Rick gave a tense shrug, "Eli has band practice or something..."  
  
[[Rick - I'm still not sure what to make of the idea of my son... becoming a musician. I always pictured both of my kids going to college, and becoming doctors or lawyers... *frowns* But, I guess that's just not the way things are going to happen.]]  
  
Lily gently tugged on Rick's shoulder, "We better get to our appointment."  
  
"Right, right," Rick said, following Lily out of the house.  
  
Jessie and Zoe turned to each in the silence, and then both took off in different directions to do different things. Zoe went into the living room, to talk to her friends on the computer, and Jessie went to change her clothes. She was still in her pajamas... and Katie would be coming over soon.  
  
Jessie smiled as she skipped up the stairs. She loved the weekends.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace exited out of her bedroom, just as Jessie was passing by, on her way to her room. Grace was just as happy as Jessie was this Saturday morning. She still couldn't believe her mother was letting her go... it was amazing!  
  
[[Grace - *smiles* This is going to be the best summer ever. Eli and I traveling around the country, just us. Together, without my bratty sister, or my hovering mother. It will be amazing.]]  
  
Grace entered the kitchen just as Eli was. She grinned across the room at him. 'Hey' She mouthed. 'Hey' Eli mouthed back. Then Eli moved to the fridge and Grace pretended to be studying the newspaper as Zoe entered the kitchen.  
  
Zoe looked at the two of them with a smile and an eyeroll. "You don't have to pretend," She said.  
  
"Hmm?" Eli asked, as he poured milk into his cereal.  
  
"I know you're back together," Zoe stated.  
  
Grace looked nervous.  
  
"But I don't really care," Zoe said with a shrug, "I mean if you're together or not. I'm not going to tell. I just don't want to think you have to pretend in front of me or anything." She grabbed an apple off the island and added, "Just, no kissing in front of me, okay?"  
  
Grace smiled, loving her sister more than ever at that moment, "Okay."  
  
Zoe took a few steps back towards the living room and stopped, "And if... you told mom you would like a dog, that would be cool, too."  
  
Grace grinned as her sister disappeared. Trust Zoe to stick a bribe of a sort in there, just to make sure Zoe milked it for all it was worth.  
  
Eli shrugged, "A dog wouldn't be so bad. And it's not like we're going to be here this summer to have to deal with its potty-training stages."  
  
Grace moved closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, "That's true. I guess a dog would be fine."  
  
Eli looked down at her, kissing her forehead. "I love you."  
  
"I know," Grace said teasingly. She looked up at him, her nose crinkled up.  
  
"Well?" Eli said, letting his hand fall to rest on her hip.  
  
"I love you, too," Grace said with a tinkling laugh.  
  
"Mmm," Eli mumbled, his words becoming just a jumbled sound as Grace kissed him. Her fingers locked into his hair, which had gotten a bit long. He needed a haircut. Both of Eli's hands now rested on the small of her back. They seemed to fit perfectly there. Like her body was made for his. They were a perfect match.  
  
Grace pulled back, her brown eyes eagerly searching his hazel ones. She seemed to be thinking over something, but what... Eli wasn't sure. "I love you," She said again.  
  
"I know," Eli said, a bit confused.  
  
Grace moved a bit closer, her body lingering against his. She held her gaze into his eyes, into his soul. Eli took a deep breath, his hands finding the warm bare skin of her back, underneath her t-shirt. Their hearts beat faster, in a joined rhythm. Eli could feel her stomach rising and falling against his. Grace closed her eyes, a wide smile coming across her face. She leaned her head forwards until their foreheads touched.  
  
Eli closed his own eyes, just enjoying in his other senses. The sense of touch, smell... taste. Eli kissed her cheek, then trailed down to kiss her neck. Grace's hands tightened around the back of his neck as she leaned into him.  
  
*Ding-Dong*  
  
They jumped apart from each other, surprised by the sound of the front doorbell. Grace caught her breath, and went into the living room. She was answering the door just as Jessie was coming downstairs.  
  
"Oh, hi Katie," Grace said. She turned and saw Jessie, "Katie's here."  
  
"Hey!" Jessie said happily. She let Katie in, and guided her upstairs to her attic room.  
  
Grace watched the two of them, something triggering in the back of her head, but she just couldn't quite put her finger on whatever it was. So, she pushed it out of her head, and headed back towards the kitchen, towards Eli.  
  
* * *  
  
"These are my latest CDs," Jessie said, holding out the CDs to Katie.  
  
Katie took them, and smiled. "I like this band," She said, holding up the Evanescence CD. Jessie smiled, pleased that they liked the same thing, and she took the CD and put it in her CD player.  
  
Katie relaxed on Jessie's bed, listening to the music. Jessie watched Katie as she sang along to the lyrics. Katie turned, and grinned as she caught Jessie watching her.  
  
Jessie surprised herself, by opening her mouth, and singing. She knew she had a good (a very good) voice, but somehow that usually made her even more reluctant to sing when people other than her family were around. She just got embarrassed, she guessed. But, here she was, singing along with "My Immortal"...  
  
"I'm so tired of being here  
  
suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
and if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
because your presence still lingers here  
  
and it won't leave me alone..."  
  
Katie had stopped her own singing, and looked at Jessie with a look of pure awe and wonder. She sat up on the bed, and faced opposite Jessie as she continued singing with her angelic voice.  
  
"These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
this pain is just too real  
  
there's just too much that time cannot erase..."  
  
Katie reached forward, her hand landing on Jessie's. Jessie looked down as their hands linked, but she didn't stop singing.  
  
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
and I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
but you still have all of me..."  
  
Katie's hand tightened on Jessie's. Jessie forced herself to look up... to look at Katie's face. Jessie did, and her singing stopped, as she looked at Katie through a haze of bewilderment.  
  
[[Jessie - I never thought I could be... gay. But... I really like Katie. *gets embarrassed* And maybe it is as more than just a friend... *looks away*]]  
  
"You used to captivate me  
  
by your resonating light  
  
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me..."  
  
The CD played on now, but the girls were silent. Their eyes were searching each other's.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace linked her hand with Eli's as she joined him on his bed. She stared down into his eyes, unsure.  
  
[[Grace - I never thought we'd get so far so fast. I never ever thought I'd be ready for... sex. Or even that I'd want to have sex, but when I'm with Eli... I just want to be so close to him. And... *trails off, thoughtful*]]  
  
Eli looked at Grace, his eyes hungry as she lay next to him. He put one hand on her belly, and turned on his side, so he could kiss her. But, Grace's face was turned away.  
  
"Grace...?" Eli sat up a bit, resting on his elbow, so he could read her face. Grace looked, well, terrified... "What's wrong?"  
  
[[Grace - But I'm still scared... So, I guess that means that I'm just not... ready for sex. Not yet.]]  
  
Grace turned her head, looking straight at him, "I'm sorry... E, I'm just... not ready."  
  
Eli realized what she meant and relaxed, "Grace, I'm not asking you for that."  
  
Grace sat up, her shoulders trembling as she started to cry. "But you're a guy!"  
  
"Yeah..." Eli wrapped his arms around her. "So?"  
  
"And you're 18!"  
  
Eli brushed her face away from her slick face. "So?" He asked again.  
  
"And... don't you want...?" Grace asked, looking at him through the veil of her tears.  
  
Eli kissed her forehead, "I don't want anything you don't want."  
  
Grace rolled her eyes, "No one ever means that, though, right?"  
  
"I mean it," Eli said, emphasizing each word. And it was the truth. No matter how much he loved Grace, and how much he was attracted to her, he wasn't going to push something when she wasn't ready for it. He could wait.  
  
"I just thought... that, since we're going away on the tour together, that you'd expect..." Grace said, trailing off. She brushed away a few remaining tears.  
  
"Well, you thought wrong," Eli said firmly, hugging her a bit tighter. Grace sank into his embrace, her body relaxing.  
  
* * *  
  
The two of them had barely moved. The CD had continued playing, and had started up at the beginning again. Jessie blinked, the lyrics combining with her scared, confused, elated thoughts. Evanescence's "Bring me to Life" began to play.  
  
"How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
  
leading you down into my core  
  
where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold  
  
until you find it there and lead it back home wake me up inside  
  
wake me up inside  
  
call my name and save me from the dark  
  
bid my blood to run  
  
before I come undone  
  
save me from the nothing I've become"  
  
Jessie drew her hand back from where it clasped Katie's. Her hand felt hollow and cold without the other girl's touch. Jessie felt her eyes filling up with tears. She was just so scared... how could she like another girl, like this?  
  
"It's okay, Jess," Katie said, her own voice sounding tearful. "You don't have to..."  
  
Jessie looked up, "I don't have to... what?"  
  
"Now that I know what I'm without  
  
you can't just leave me  
  
breathe into me and make me real  
  
bring me to life"  
  
Katie looked up, and her own eyes shone with tears. "You don't have to like me back," Katie whispered. "I'm stupid. I should have never fallen for you."  
  
"You... what?" Jessie asked, her heart beating faster. In the background, the chorus was playing again.  
  
Katie looked down at her singular hands, "I never meant to like you as anything more than a friend, Jessie, I mean it. It just changed, somehow... maybe it was always there. But, it's stupid, and we can just forget, okay? We can just go back to being friends..."  
  
Jessie was surprised, she had always thought Katie was amazing... and she had never once thought that Katie liked her like that. It... was a lot to think about. Jessie shyly looked across the bed at Katie's pained face. She smiled, just a tiny one, but it was enough to ease Katie's worries. Katie was relieved that Jessie didn't hate her after what she had just told her.  
  
"All this time I can't believe I couldn't see  
  
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems  
  
got to open my eyes to everything..."  
  
While the music played on, Jessie found herself staring at Katie in a new light. She let her feelings go, unbound, and let herself feel whatever it was that tugged at her very soul. She stared at Katie with her new feelings playing across her face. Katie was surprised, she had never thought Jessie would so freely return her feelings like this, but it was all written across her face.  
  
Jessie reached out, and their hands linked again. This time neither pulled them apart.  
  
* * * 


	23. Those Tough Queries of Mind

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 23//Those Tough Queries of Mind  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
"We'll start out with a gig here in Chicago, so no need for hotels or anything the first weekend. Then we'll travel up and hit Madison..." Eli pointed out on the map he had laid out on the table. They were going to have a nice busy summer. Most of the shows had already sold out or were close to selling out. They had three, maybe four, gigs a week, which left just enough travel time and relaxation time.  
  
Grace nodded as Eli outlined the tour plans for her. She was grinning madly, but couldn't stop herself.  
  
[[Grace - I've barely been out of the state. Sometimes we'd go to Wisconsin, but that was basically it. But, now *grins* I'm going to get to see the whole country! ....And I'm going to do it with Eli by my side.]]  
  
Lily came in and peered over Grace's shoulder at the map. Eli had put stickers on all the places they planned to stop. "That's a lot of places," Lily murmured, "Are you sure you're going to have time to do all of these?"  
  
Eli nodded, "It's all planned out, and the tickets have gone on sale... there's no turning back now." He glanced sideways at Grace and they shared a smile.  
  
"Have you talked with your father?" Lily asked Grace.  
  
Grace's smile faded away, "Uh, not yet. He's been so busy with baby Ethan and all..."  
  
"Grace," Lily said sternly, "I only agreed you could go on this tour if your father agreed with it too."  
  
"I know," Grace snapped, "And I'm going to ask him. We still have a month until school lets out."  
  
"Hmm," Lily said, but her judgment was clear in the tone of her voice. Grace was glad when her mother left the kitchen.  
  
[[Grace - I guess I'm just scared... scared that my father will say no. I really want this to happen, and I don't know what I'd do if... it didn't happen. I'd be so upset if he said no.]]  
  
Eli took Grace's hand in his, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure he'll say 'yes'."  
  
Grace nodded, but she wasn't so confident.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm just... so excited!" Grace said cheerfully.  
  
"You should be... it sounds cool," Cynthia said. "You guys will have such a great time."  
  
Carla grinned, munching on a few potato chips, "I'm like so ready to go... I'm so sick of my dad. And his stupid wife. I don't mind my mom as much, and she's letting me go on the tour, so... I love her!"  
  
Cynthia looked closer at Grace, "Your parents are letting you go, even with everything that has gone on between you and Eli in the past?"  
  
Grace gave a meaningful look at Carla. Carla... and Zoe, were like the only people who really knew Grace and Eli were back together, and no matter how much Grace wanted to tell Carla, she couldn't risk it. If her parents found out... Grace shrugged, "Well, my mom knows that Eli and I are just really close friends, now. And it's really just a job. And, my dad... well, I haven't really asked him yet."  
  
"You haven't?" Carla cried. "Grace!"  
  
"I'm going to... soon," Grace said defensively.  
  
"But, what if he doesn't let you!" Carla complained, "Then I'll be alone with Turk and the rest of the guys all the time... and they're fun, but I would get so bored if you weren't there! I need you to come, Grace! You have to!"  
  
"I'm going to," Grace insisted, "I'm sure my father will agree to it."  
  
Grace absentmindedly took a bite of her sandwich, even though her stomach was currently tied in knots.  
  
* * *  
  
"Bo! Bo! Baby! Where's the baby's smile?" Jake chattered in baby talk. He tickled Ethan's little chin. "Ba-bee. Bo! Where's the baby's smile? Oh, there it is! I see your smile! Okay... wait..."  
  
Grace took another sip of her soda and watched her father across the room as he tried to take a picture of Ethan smiling. The camera flash went off, and Ethan started crying. Jake picked him up and soothed him by rubbing the baby's little back.  
  
"That was a good one!" Jake said, as he put the camera away, "That was a good smile for the camera, huh, Ethan?"  
  
Grace swallowed a sigh. She just wanted to get it over with and ask what she had been putting off for the last couple of weeks. But her father was busy cooing at little Ethan.  
  
Tiffany entered the kitchen, and caught Grace's troubled look. She wisely decided it was a perfect time to take Ethan out for a stroll at the park. Thankfully, Tiffany was able to convince Zoe to go along. Grace was left alone with her father.  
  
"Did you want an omelet?" Jake asked, as he plopped a frying pan onto of the stove. "I get so busy taking care of Ethan that I forget to eat!"  
  
"No, I had cereal," Grace said. She let out a deep breath, knowing that now was the perfect time, but somehow being unable to get the words out. She was so terrified he'd say 'no'!  
  
"Are you sure?" Jake asked, as he readied the ingredients.  
  
"I'm sure," Grace said. She twisted in her chair at the table so she could have a better look at her father. Why couldn't she just get out with it? Why couldn't she just ask?  
  
"I was thinking," Jake said over the sizzle of the cooking eggs, "That you could come work at the restaurant this summer. We've been picking up business quite well lately, and we could always use another hand."  
  
"Especially since you wouldn't have to pay me," Grace pointed out.  
  
Jake turned and flashed a teasing smile, "Or... we could just under- pay you."  
  
Grace tried to smile in return, but it fell flat, "Uh, actually, Dad, I had other plans for the summer..."  
  
"You did?" Jake looked at her over his shoulder, waiting for her to go on.  
  
"There's this job I want to take. It's with Eli's band."  
  
Jake turned off the stove and joined Grace at the table with his omelet. "You're going to be a drummer?" He joked. "I never pictured you in a band. You come from a line of talent-less musicians. I used to play the guitar... and I just sucked."  
  
Grace smiled, glad for her dad's sense of humor. It was putting her at ease, and making this easier. Besides, her dad wouldn't say no, would he? "No, it's not 'in' the band, exactly. It's as more of a road-hand. For when they go on tour."  
  
"Anti-Inflammatory is going on tour?" Jake asked between bites.  
  
"Yes, they're going to be an opening act for another band and they want me to come along... to help. They'll pay me," Grace looked down at her can of soda, waiting fro her father's response.  
  
"How long... is the tour?" Jake asked.  
  
Grace looked up and answered, "Basically, for the whole summer."  
  
Jake looked thoughtful.  
  
"It's a really good opportunity," Grace added.  
  
Jake sighed, his fork dropping to the plate. "I don't know how I feel about my daughter spending the whole month out on the road. It's a dangerous country, Grace."  
  
"I know, but I'll be with Eli, and the rest of the band. And Carla's coming too," Grace said.  
  
"Oh, so you and Carla are going to be the groupies for the band?" Jake asked.  
  
Grace frowned, but then looked at her father and realized he was kidding. She gave him a small uncomfortable smile. "I really want to do this, Dad."  
  
"So, I won't see you for three months..." Jake said.  
  
"More like two and a half," Grace said quickly, "And I could write and call. You won't even miss me."  
  
"I will miss you," Jake said with a slight shake of his head. But he was giving in, "Have you talked to your mother about this?"  
  
"Yes." Grace felt her last bit of nervousness slipping away. He was going to let her go! Grace couldn't resist jumping up from her seat and going over to hug her father. "Thanks!"  
  
Jake sighed, but hugged her back, "You will be careful, won't you?"  
  
"Yes!" Grace pulled back at looked at her father's face.  
  
"You'll call every night?" Jake asked.  
  
"Yes. Eli's got a cell phone, so we can just use that." Grace smiled happily. "This is going to be the best summer, ever!"  
  
* * *  
  
"Does Sarah know?" Jessie asked as she spotted the tall dark-haired girl further down in the hallway.  
  
"Know what?" Katie asked cheerfully. Her eyes twinkled secretly at Jessie.  
  
"Does she know... that you like me?" Jessie whispered, the words sounding good to say. Katie liked her... she really did. And Jessie was pretty sure she liked Katie back.  
  
Katie shook her head, "Nope. But, she is pretty observant, and she might have suspected it."  
  
Jessie stomach fell. She didn't want anyone to know! She just wanted it to be between her and Katie. No one else!  
  
Katie caught Jessie's expression, "Don't worry. No one has to know."  
  
Jessie smiled at Katie. She loved that Katie knew what Jessie was thinking. Jessie's smile faltered as Sarah passed them by in the hall. There was no mistaking the dirty look Sarah had thrown Jessie. Katie gave Jessie a sympathic look, "Don't think about Sarah. She doesn't really know anything."  
  
Jessie nodded, but she was suddenly all too aware of the many people passing them by. Could they tell? Was it written on her and Katie's faces? Could everyone see that the two of them had feelings for each other? Jessie nervously turned back to her locker, turning her face away from all the other faces.  
  
Jessie just wished the world would disappear. Then she wouldn't have to worry, and she and Katie could just be... alone, together.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hmm, it looks like a great trip," Jessie said, as she studied the map on the table.  
  
Grace was pleased that there seemed to be no jealousy in Jessie's voice. Zoe had been a little jealous when she had first heard of the plans for the tour, but she had gotten over it once Lily and Rick had agreed to get her a dog.  
  
"You and Eli are going to have a great time," Jessie added, looking at Grace with significance. "Maybe you'll even... get back together."  
  
"Oh, I don't know," Grace said, quickly turning away. She hated all this lying!  
  
"You guys just seem... perfect for each other," Jessie said. Grace turned back around, looking at her stepsister. Jessie seemed to be thinking hard about something, "How do you... know?"  
  
"Know what?" Grace asked.  
  
"When it's right?" Jessie asked, "When you've found the right person... the person you're supposed to be with."  
  
"I don't know if I'm anyone to be giving out advice," Grace said with a shrug, "I mean, look at how I screwed up things with Eli and I."  
  
Jessie was silent. She didn't now exactly how Grace had screwed things up, since Grace had never told her. But, still... Jessie didn't care. She just wanted an answer to her question, it didn't really matter from who.  
  
"Well, I guess you just know," Grace said finally. "That sounds stupid, but just somewhere in the pit of your stomach, you just... know... that this is the right person for you. And, then you seem to fit together perfectly with that person, emotionally, mentally and physically..." Grace blushed, sensing she had said too much. Especially that part about 'physically fitting together'. What if Jessie thought she meant sex...? Would Jessie think Grace and Eli...?  
  
But Grace needed not worry, as Jessie was satisfied with the answer. "Thanks," Jessie said with a smile. She hurried out the room, stopping to grab the cordless phone on the way out. Now, Grace allowed herself to stop thinking about Eli and herself, and to wonder exactly who Jessie had had in mine, when she had asked her questions. Was Jessie in love?  
  
* * * 


	24. Even the Purest Rain

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading/reviewing as always! I'm not sure where this story is going. Usually the seasons (on TV) end at summertime, but for this story I  
think I will continue on and write about the summer months. But after  
that, I'm not sure if there will be a third season. I might work on  
something else instead.  
  
Chapter 24//Even the Purest Rain  
  
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Grace had always liked storms. The deep call of the thunder. The surprise flash of the lighting, illuminating the sky. The heavy rains flooding the sidewalks. And watching all this through a window, while she was warm, safe and protected.  
  
"One Mississippi... two Mississippi..." Eli began to count after a flash of lighting.  
  
Grace leaned back in his warm arms and looked out the window. On five Mississippi the air shook with a loud grumble of thunder. "Five miles away," Grace said aloud. She didn't know if the old wise tale was true or not, but she had always counted anyways.  
  
"You should get back," Eli whispered. He kissed her neck longingly, though, and Grace knew Eli wished she didn't have to go.  
  
But she did... if they wanted to keep up this premise of just being friends. If they wanted to hide their relationship, so Grace could go on tour with him. Grace sighed, leaning closer against Eli, "In a bit," She said, and Eli all too willingly agreed.  
  
They watched the storm together.  
  
* * *  
  
"Ah!" Jessie cried as the rain poured down on her.  
  
"It's eased up some," Katie observed. She raced down her driveway, the rain still heavy enough to soak her in the space of three seconds. She was barefoot and delightedly danced in the puddles.  
  
Jessie watched her, from where she stood, mostly protected from the rain under the overhang of the garage. Katie was just so... free.  
  
"Come on!" Katie called. Katie's hair was wet and plastered to her face, and her wet clothes clung to her form, but she didn't care. She beckoned for Jessie to join her.  
  
Jessie smiled as she left the safe space next to the garage and hurried down the driveway. Her clothes were immediately drenched and became annoying heavy on her frame. Her hair lay heavy and wet against her neck. But still she smiled.  
  
Katie smiled back, and grabbed her hand. They took off down the street together, jumping in the biggest puddles they could find.  
  
Jessie had never felt so... free. So alive.  
  
* * *  
  
Grace still lay in Eli's arms, although the last echoes of thunder had long faded away. The sky had faded away to night, and Grace knew she shouldn't be here still. She knew that she should have gone back inside the house long ago, but still she stayed, her head against Eli's chest, feeling him breathe.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where's Grace?" Rick asked.  
  
"Why?" Lily said, trying to hide her anxiousness. She knew exactly where Grace was. But... did she want to tell Rick that?  
  
[[Lily - It's almost like I feel that I've been entrusted with this secret... of Grace and Eli's relationship, even though they never told me themselves of it. But, still, I feel a responsibility not to let it get out. I know how much this tour means to both of them. I... I don't want to be the cause for any damage to their plans. *looks up* ...If Jake found out that Grace and Eli were together... he might change his mind about letting her go. *sighs* I couldn't stand to see her hurt that way.]]  
  
Rick popped a grape in his mouth, "I'm supposed to go pick up Jess from Katie's. I thought maybe I'd take Grace along, and have her drive. You know, give her some practice before the big test on Monday."  
  
The big test... the driver's license road test.  
  
Lily smiled. She really was lucky to have found Rick. He was just so... wonderful, and thoughtful. Lily gave Rick a quick peck on the cheek. "That's nice, but I think she said something about homework."  
  
"Alright," Rick said, "Well, I'll be back then..." He picked his car keys up from the table and stopped to look at Lily with a smile. "You be good," He said.  
  
"Me be good?" Lily asked, with a laugh.  
  
"I was talking to Dominic," Rick explained, landing a hand on top of Lily's still-slim belly. He looked up at her with a goofy smile, "What do you think of Dominic for a boy?"  
  
Lily smiled, "I think it's nice. But I also think we've got seven plus months to figure out names. Boy... and girl names."  
  
Rick nodded, "But, you like 'Dominic'?"  
  
Lily kissed his lips softly, "I do."  
  
Rick was pleased. He headed for the door, "Call me if you... get any food cravings or anything you need me to pick up."  
  
Lily smiled goofily herself, as the door closed behind Rick. Yes, she really was lucky she found Rick. Lily let herself just stand there, basking in Rick's love. And smiling.  
  
* * *  
  
"You look like a drowned rat!" Katie said laughing. She and Jessie had circled the block and ended up back in front of Katie's house.  
  
"Oh, thanks!" Jessie said sarcastically, as she tried to brush her wet hair back from her forehead.  
  
"No, I didn't mean it like that!" Katie insisted. She didn't bother to fix her own hair. She just looked at Jessie with... admiration. "You look great! I just meant... you look wet... is all."  
  
Jessie smiled, "Well, you look pretty wet yourself." She reached forward, and brushed away the hair that stuck to Katie's cheeks and forehead. She giggled, just thinking of what they had just done. Playing in the rain like five year olds... "I would have never done this with anyone else," Jessie said, looking into Katie's eyes.  
  
Katie didn't say anything, just shrugged... shyly.  
  
"I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else," Jessie added.  
  
Katie looked back at Jessie with an unsure smile. They hadn't kissed yet. But they both knew feelings were there... on both sides of the fence. They knew there was something there, something they could choose to act on, if they wished.  
  
Jessie took a deep breath, and realized her hand was still on Katie's cheek. She left it there. "Katie, I..."  
  
Katie moved slowly, giving Jessie plenty of opportunity to break away, to turn her head, to say 'stop'... but Jessie didn't want to say any of those things. She wanted to kiss Katie.  
  
Katie paused. Their faces only inches apart. Her eyes were telling Jessie that they didn't have to do this... that Jessie could stop it.  
  
But, Jessie didn't want to stop it. Jessie surged forward, making her lips meet Katie's. The initial contact surprising her by the softness and loveliness of Katie's lips. And as the kiss deeper, it was the sense of... rightness that surprised her. This felt right. They both knew it.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick scratched his head as he tried to remember if he turned left or right onto Oak Tree Street. Rick finally turned right, figuring he could always turn around if he didn't find Katie's house. But, it turned out Rick had indeed turned the right way. But maybe it would have been better for him to have gone left.  
  
Because if he had gone left, it would have taken him a few seconds, maybe even a minute longer to reach Katie's house. And maybe if he had had those extra seconds he wouldn't have pulled up just in time to see his daughter and her... friend, Katie locked in a kiss.  
  
Rick gaped out the window at the site of what was clearly Jessie and Katie kissing. And there was no mistaking this kiss as anything else other than a real kiss. This was no friendly peck on the cheek. This was his daughter... kissing another girl.  
  
[[Rick - *extremely surprised*............. *silence*........]]  
  
* * *  
  
Grace opened her eyes, not even having realized she had fallen asleep. Eli's eyes had opened and they both looked at each other, wondering what had broken them out of their doze.  
  
"Jessie!"  
  
They looked at each other, intrigued as to why Rick was yelling at Jessie.  
  
Grace and Eli got up from his bed. They got to the door, and Eli stopped Grace, straightening her shirt before they exited Eli's room and went in the kitchen.  
  
"Jessie!" Rick was calling still.  
  
Eli and Grace went into the living room, where Rick was screaming up the stairs at Jessie.  
  
"We need to talk!" Rick yelled.  
  
Lily stood by the door, and by the expression on her face, Grace knew that Lily was just as baffled about this as Eli and Grace were.  
  
"Jessie!" Rick tried again, but all he got in return was the loud slam of the attic door. Jessie had retreated to her room.  
  
Zoe appeared at the top of the stairs. "What's wrong with her?" She asked.  
  
Rick ignored Zoe, turning around. He now saw that he also had an audience of Lily, Grace and Eli. Rick chose the only route that led to himself having some privacy... he stormed back out the front door.  
  
* * *  
  
Upstairs, Jessie lay on her bed, her wet clothes dampening the bedspread, but she didn't care. Her body was in torment from the tears that racked her very soul.  
  
[[Jessie - *tearful* It all fell apart so quickly... all of the sudden my father was there, and he saw! *angry, confused* No one was supposed to see!]]  
  
Her and Katie's first kiss... had to be witnessed by her father. Jessie didn't even get to enjoy having a secret first kiss with Katie before it was made public. Her father knew.  
  
He had tried to talk to her the whole way home. Jessie could tell he was trying to find an answer that would explain what he had just saw... an answer that didn't involve the truth. That didn't require his daughter to be a lesbian.  
  
Jessie didn't know what she was. All she knew was that she had wanted to kiss Katie, and when she had kissed her.... it felt good. But now her father's --and soon to be everyone else's-- eyes were on her. Jessie felt like she was under a microscope. It didn't feel good.  
  
Her and Katie's kiss had been tainted. What had been perfect had ended in the surprise of her father pulling up besides them. And it made Jessie question the whole thing.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm going to try and talk with her," Eli said, although he doubted he could get Jessie to talk to him about whatever had happened between her and their dad. But, it was his brother's responsibility to try.  
  
Grace watched Eli head up the stairs. She felt her mother's eyes on her. "Yeah?"  
  
Lily was frowning, her eyes troubled, "You missed a few buttons."  
  
Grace looked down, blushing deeply as she buttoned the top buttons on her shirt. She hadn't even remembered Eli unbuttoning them. She glanced, embarrassed, back up at her mother. "You know?" She asked, her heart paused with fear.  
  
Lily nodded sadly, "I know."  
  
"I would have told you..." Grace began. "But, I was afraid you wouldn't let me go on tour with him."  
  
"I know," Lily said again, and sighed.  
  
Grace noticed her mother didn't seem angry. "How long have you know?"  
  
"Ever since you guys first planned on going on tour together," Lily admitted, "I overheard you talking."  
  
Grace fell into silence. She studied her mother's drawn face. "Even though you knew... you still agreed to let me go?"  
  
Lily nodded. Grace stared at her mother with wonder.  
  
* * *  
  
"Oh... that's the door," Karen said, separating herself from her boyfriend Leo's arms.  
  
"Don't answer it..." Leo pleaded. His eyes twinkled, "Unless you ordered pizza or something. I could go for some pizza right now."  
  
"I didn't order pizza," Karen said, with a smile.  
  
"Then don't answer it," Leo said.  
  
Karen got up from the couch, as the doorbell rang again. "I must."  
  
Leo groaned, reaching out, half-heartedly to stop her. Karen dodged his arms, grinning and danced over to the door.  
  
"Get rid of whoever it is quick!" Leo called out, his voice full of suggestion.  
  
Karen thought of how warm she had felt in Leo's arms with the rain falling outside... how safe and comforted she had felt. Karen had been dating Leo for a good number of months, and she really liked where things were going.  
  
[[Karen - I guess I like that Leo is completely different from.....]]  
  
Karen pulled open the door, her face still bearing a grin. It quickly faded as she saw Rick on her doorstep.  
  
[[Karen - ....Rick.]]  
  
Rick was drenched... his expression grim.  
  
Karen stepped aside, letting her ex-husband into the house they had once shared together.  
  
* * * 


	25. Don't Make Me Over

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 25//Don't Make Me Over  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
Karen cleared off the table, although Rick stood rigid in the kitchen doorway. She gestured for him to sit down, but knowing it was useless. She knew how Rick got when he was upset... but what Karen didn't know is what was making Rick this upset. She had already had to say an early goodbye to Leo, so Rick could get out whatever it was he came over here to say, but now Rick wasn't talking.  
  
Rick shook his head at her offer of coffee. He didn't even bother to take off his dripping coat.  
  
Karen tried to wait for him to start talking... but damn-it, she wasn't his wife anymore. She wasn't going to just sit around and wait until Rick finally shared his thoughts with her. "What is it?" Karen asked.  
  
Rick looked up, surprised by her question.  
  
"Rick, what is it?" Karen asked again, a bit more angrily this time, "You can't just come over here and be all upset... and then not talk about it. Rick, I'm not your wife anymore..."  
  
Rick nodded.  
  
"...So, spare me the annoyance and just tell me what the problem is," Karen continued through clenched teeth.  
  
Rick sighed, but seemed on the verge of speaking, so Karen silenced herself and waited. Finally Rick said, "I happened to see something... something I wasn't supposed to see."  
  
Karen was confused, but she just held her tongue, hoping Rick would get to the details on his own.  
  
Rick looked up, looking uncomfortably into Karen's eyes. "I saw Jessie and her friend... Katie... kissing."  
  
Karen wasn't expecting that.  
  
* * *  
  
"Jess?" Eli asked, knocking on her door. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. "Jess? Do you want to talk?"  
  
No answer.  
  
Eli sighed. He didn't know what had gone on with his father and Jessie, but he could sense it was something important. Eli tried once again, "Jessie?"  
  
Inside her room, Jessie buried her face deeper in her pillow, sobbing. She heard Eli walking back down the attic stairs and she was grateful for that, at least. How could she talk about what happened with her brother? How could she tell him... about what had happened? How could Jessie tell anyone about her and Katie's kiss? It was bad enough that her father knew. But Jessie didn't want the whole world to be thinking she was a lesbian when she didn't know what the hell she was!  
  
* * *  
  
"Rick," Lily said, relieved when Rick entered their bedroom later that night. "I was worried."  
  
Rick began going about getting undressed. "There's no need to worry about me."  
  
Lily looked at him, her eyes full of questions. What had he and Jessie been fighting about? And where had Rick been for the last few hours? And why did Lily get the idea that Rick wasn't about to talk to her about any of this?  
  
"Hmmm... a nice warm bed," Rick commented as he joined Lily in bed.  
  
Lily ignored his arms wrapping around her, "Are you... Do you want to talk to me about it?"  
  
Rick rolled away from her, sighing, "No... I don't think I should. Not yet."  
  
Lily was hurt, but tried to hide it.  
  
Rick turned back to her, kissing her shoulder, "Lil... there's just some things that I can't share with you... at least not right away. There are some things that just have to be between me and my daughter."  
  
Lily nodded. She knew that feeling all too well. She was, after all, keeping the secret of Grace's and Eli's relationship from him and everyone else. She knew how it felt to want to keep some things to yourself.  
  
Rick saw her understanding and kissed her appreciatively.  
  
As he turned out the lights, Lily couldn't help but ask, "But, can you tell me where you've been all night?"  
  
As Rick spooned her, he answered, "That's easy... I was at Karen's."  
  
Lily frowned-- not sure of what to think of that-- but the dark hid it well.  
  
* * *  
  
"I got it!" Grace called out as she entered the house on Monday afternoon. She held up her driver's license proudly. Lily followed her, wearing a similar smile as her daughter. Grace waited for someone to come out and congratulate her, but then remembered that since she had left school at lunchtime to go take the test, the rest of the family was at school or at work... in Rick's case.  
  
So, Grace was really surprised when a weak voice answered her, "That's great."  
  
"Feeling any better?" Lily asked Jessie who was lying out of view on the couch.  
  
"A bit," Jessie said. Lily went to the kitchen, and Grace couldn't help but walk over to the couch. Jessie lay, looking so small as she was curled up in a bundle of blankets. A box of tissues sat next to her, along with a unused puke bucket. Grace sensed her mother's work there.  
  
But Jessie, herself, didn't look that sick. Jessie caught Grace studying her, and her eyes turned fierce. Grace realized even if Jessie was faking it, it was in Grace's best interest not to call her on it. Unless she wanted Jessie to hate her. "Need anything?" Grace asked sweetly.  
  
Jessie, who had totally been expecting an accusation by Grace about her not really being sick, was surprised. "Uh, no, I'm fine."  
  
"Alright," Grace said, and began to leave the room. She paused, and looked around for signs of her mother, but she was busy starting to prepare a big dinner to celebrate Grace getting her license. The coast was clear. Grace sat on the edge of the sofa arm and asked, "So, do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Jessie looked away, drawing the blankets tighter around her, "About what?"  
  
Grace rolled her eyes, "About you and your dad's fight.... about what caused it."  
  
Jessie shook her head quickly, "No... I don't really want to talk about it."  
  
"Are you sure?" Grace asked. She felt bad for Jessie. The girl was clearly hurting, and it had nothing to do with her being 'sick'.  
  
Jessie's face tightened, "I'm sure."  
  
Grace reluctantly got up from the sofa, "If you do want to talk... well, you know where I live."  
  
Jessie nodded already turning her attention to the soaps on TV. Already focusing on a bunch of not real people and their problems... anything to not have to think about her own problems.  
  
* * *  
  
"Jess?"  
  
Jessie had escaped back up to room before her father had returned home from work, hoping he'd take the hint and leave her alone. But here he was, knocking on her door, trying to get her to talk. But her father was the last person Jessie wanted to talk to right now.  
  
[[Jessie - I just want to figure things out... and I can't do that if people won't leave me alone! *groans* And my father's the last one I want to be talking to right now... because he's the only one who knows what happened. He's the only one who saw me kissing Katie. *pauses, looks worried*...Unless my father told everyone about it.]]  
  
"Go away!" Jessie screamed. "Leave me alone!"  
  
"Jessie, we should talk.... just talk," Rick pleaded.  
  
Jessie slipped her headphones on, blocking out her father's words.  
  
* * *  
  
"Do you know what's going on?" Grace asked Eli.  
  
Eli shook his head, "I have no clue. Jessie won't talk to me about it."  
  
Grace squeezed Eli's hand reassuringly. She could tell he was worried about this. "Have you asked your father about it?"  
  
Eli shook his head again, "My dad won't talk either."  
  
* * *  
  
Jessie sat straight up on her bed. She slipped her headphones off her ears. There was silence. Her father had given up. Jessie got up from her bed and crossed her room to her dresser. She stared at herself in her mirror, studying the girl that stood before her. Her thoughts going a million a minute.  
  
Jessie suddenly nodded and reached down to put her shoes on. She knew the one person she wanted to talk to about this. It was time to pay Katie a visit.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace?" Jessie whispered.  
  
Grace jumped, having not heard Jessie enter her room. She looked at Jessie curiously, "Yes?"  
  
"Can you drive me somewhere?" Jessie asked.  
  
Grace paused, "Where?"  
  
"Just... to Katie's house. I need to talk to her," Jessie said, unable to look Grace in the eye.  
  
Grace nodded, getting up from her computer chair, "Sure, but why didn't you ask your father, or Eli?"  
  
Jessie shrugged, "I just don't really want them to know..."  
  
"To know what?" Grace asked, confused.  
  
Jessie frowned, "Just... that I'm going to Katie's. Just don't tell them, okay?"  
  
Grace nodded, although she didn't quite get it. But she headed downstairs with Jessie, happy to be able to actually drive someone somewhere now that she had her driver's license. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Rick spotted them.  
  
"Are you going somewhere?" Rick asked, surprised. Jessie had claimed to be sick and hadn't even come out of her room for Grace's celebration dinner.  
  
Jessie shot Grace a scared look, and Grace remembered Jessie's plea. Quickly, Grace fudged, "Oh, we're just going out for ice cream."  
  
"You feeling better, Jess?" Rick asked, eyeing his daughter.  
  
Jessie gave a quick nod, unable to look at her father directly.  
  
"We'll be back soon," Grace said, and Jessie gratefully followed her out to the car.  
  
"So, you want to talk, now?" Grace asked, as she drove her and Eli's Honda towards Katie's house.  
  
Jessie shook her head 'no'. Grace nodded, and they continued to drive along in silence.  
  
"Thanks, Grace," Jessie said as they pulled up in front of Katie's house. Jessie looked nervously at the house, but made no move to get out of the car.  
  
"No problem," Grace said.  
  
"Just wait... I'll be out in a few minutes, okay?" Jessie asked.  
  
Grace nodded, and Jessie got out of the car, looking very anxious.  
  
* * *  
  
Jessie knocked on Katie's closed door.  
  
"Go away!" was Katie's muffled reply.  
  
"It's Jessie."  
  
There was a long pause and then the door opened. Jessie's heart clenched as she noticed how red and puffy Katie's eyes were. Katie had been crying... over her.  
  
"Come in," Katie said, wiping away any remaining trace of tears on her cheeks. She shut the door behind Jessie.  
  
The two girls studied each other silently.  
  
"You didn't come to school," Katie said silently. She looked Jessie over once more, "They said you were sick... you don't look sick."  
  
"I'm not sick," Jessie admitted. "I'm just scared."  
  
"I'm scared too!" Katie cried. "I've never felt this strongly for anyone... not even Sarah."  
  
"Really?" Jessie asked in surprise.  
  
Katie nodded, "Really."  
  
"I've never felt this way either!" Jessie said, her voice trembling.  
  
Katie walked away, her back to Jessie. She went over to her CD player, but then decided that no music was better. She turned back to Jessie. "I'll understand if..."  
  
"If what?" Jessie asked, scared.  
  
Katie looked into Jessie's eyes. "If you don't want to..."  
  
"To what?" Jessie asked, although she knew want Katie meant.  
  
"To... be more than friends," Katie said, her face grim. "But... please be my friend at least. I need you to be my friend!"  
  
"I want to be your friend!" Jessie said, surely. "I just... don't know about the other thing."  
  
Katie nodded, resigned to the idea of just being friends. "Your father saw us," She said, looking at Jessie, trying to see how much that was hurting her.  
  
Jessie nodded, and tears formed in her eyes. "I don't know what to say to him about it!"  
  
"Can't you just say..." Katie began.  
  
But Jessie shook her head, "No! He's not dumb... he knows what he saw. I can't just pretend it wasn't what it was."  
  
Katie nodded, she felt bad that she was causing Jessie this pain. "So, what are you going to say to him?"  
  
Jessie shrugged, a tear escaping and traveling down her cheek, "I really don't know." Jessie quickly wiped the tear away and turned to leave, "Grace is waiting for me."  
  
Katie followed her out of her room and out the front door. Jessie paused, looking over at where Grace was waiting inside her car and then back at Katie.  
  
"Thanks for coming over," Katie said. Her hand brushed against Jessie's. Jessie couldn't resist grabbing onto her friend's hand.  
  
"Of course," Jessie said. "You were the only one I wanted to talk to."  
  
Katie nodded, her feelings for Jessie written across her face. "I don't want to lose you," Katie said, and then quickly added, "...as a friend."  
  
"You won't!" Jessie insisted. "No matter... what happens with us, we'll always be friends. I love you too much to lose you!"  
  
The two girls studied each other. From her car window, Grace watched the two of them, sensing something important was going on with them. But something about the way the two girls stood so close to each other, and the intense looks on their faces, made Grace look away. She felt like she was spying on them. Instead Grace busied herself by cleaning out the compartment between the front seats. She let Jessie and Katie have their privacy.  
  
Jessie glanced over at the car, but Grace wasn't looking. She turned back to Katie, and pushed her lips against Katie's before she could think about it. It was just a quick kiss, nothing like the kiss they had shared in the rain, but it was a good kiss... it was comforting. Jessie pulled back, looking at Katie with a smile. Suddenly she felt more sure about her feelings for Katie... Jessie was beginning to accept it for what it was.  
  
* * * 


	26. Decisions to Make or Not Make

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Thanks for reading/reviewing as always! : )  
  
Chapter 26//Decisions to Make or Not Make  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"...Don't be scared to fly alone  
  
Find a path that is your own  
  
Love will open every door  
  
It's in your hands  
  
The world is yours  
  
Don't hold back and always know  
  
All the answers will unfold  
  
What are you waiting for  
  
Spread your wings and soar..."  
  
Grace smiled as the song "Soar" played into her ears, but she wasn't really listening. Christina Aguilera's smooth voice was very calming though. It was good distraction music. Instead of working on typing the last of her research paper during her study hall, Grace was finding herself drifting away in thought. School would be over in less than a month, and Grace would be off... off on an amazing trip with Eli around the whole country.  
  
"Grace?"  
  
Grace slipped the headphones off her ears and turned away from the computer screen. Mr. Morris, the play director, smiled at her and Grace hoped her total lack of doing actual work wasn't obvious.  
  
"How have you been?" Mr. Morris asked.  
  
Grace shrugged, but with a smile, "Uh, good."  
  
Mr. Morris studied Grace, "I was surprised when you didn't try out for the spring play."  
  
"Oh..." Grace hadn't even given it any thought. "I've been busy, I guess."  
  
"You are a great actress," Mr. Morris complimented her. He knew from her extraordinary performance in the fall play, just what Grace was capable of.  
  
"Thanks," Grace said with a hint of an embarrassed smile.  
  
"Well," Mr. Morris looked around the computer room, aware that he should really be letting Grace get back to her work. But he had one last thing to tell her, "Grace, I don't know if you've heard about the summer acting group?"  
  
Grace shook her head 'no'.  
  
"It's sponsored by the school," Mr. Morris explained, "Which means, yours truly is the acting coach/director. It's just a bunch of high school kids from all over the Chicago area who are interested in acting. We have acting work shops, and have gotten some big names in the past to come and offer advice and tips. And we put on a play, and the money that we earn through that goes to charity. It's a great experience for any young actors."  
  
Grace considered this. It sounded awesome. Something she would totally want to do. Acting in the fall play had shown her that this was what she wanted to be doing with her life. Grace was surprised that she hadn't even thought about trying out for the spring play. Well, it was too late for that, but this summer thing....  
  
[[Grace - Wait... summer thing. SUMMER! *groans* I can't! I can't do it. I'm going on tour with Eli! How could I have forgotten??]]  
  
Mr. Morris was still talking, going over how good this acting group looked on college applications, and about the opportunity to meet other eager young actors. But, Grace began shaking her head.  
  
"I can't do it," Grace said, surprised by how disappointed she was. Just a few minutes she had been lost in a daydream about how cool it would be to be going on the tour. And now... she didn't know how she felt. She still loved the idea of going on tour with Eli... but it was sad to have to pass up a great acting chance like this acting group.  
  
"Oh," Mr. Morris sounded disappointed himself, "Well, I just wanted to tell you about it, because the play directors from all the Chicago schools nominate three students each for this opportunity, and you were one of my choices."  
  
"I was?" Grace asked, surprised. "Even though I didn't even do the spring play?"  
  
Mr. Morris nodded, "You have a great amount of talent, Grace. Just imagine how good you could be with the right training and practice."  
  
Grace was flattered. But... she just couldn't say yes. It would mean giving up the tour. Grace couldn't do that.  
  
Mr. Morris sensed her about to reject the offer, and said quickly, "Just think about it, Grace. Give me an answer before the last week of school. I think you'd be a great addition to the group." Mr. Morris pulled a pamphlet out of his bag and handed it to her. "Just look this over, and discuss it with your parents.... and get back to me."  
  
Grace nodded numbly, and Mr. Morris walked away. Grace looked down at the paper in her hand, feeling very torn.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, Jess!"  
  
Jessie turned, and smiled at the boy approaching her. "Hi Tad."  
  
"I haven't talked to you in a while," Tad said as he leaned against the locker next to Jessie's. "I've missed it."  
  
"Oh," Jessie said, surprised. She hadn't thought Tad cared that much about her. "Well, we're talking now, aren't we?" Jessie was in a good mood. Her father had seemed to back off about asking her about what he had seen. Her mother hadn't mentioned it either, although Jessie was sure her father had told her. And, Katie was... amazing! Jessie couldn't believe she could feel this way about someone else, especially another girl. But she did feel this way, and it felt good.  
  
"Yeah, but it's not the same," Tad said, giving her a cheesy smile, "So, maybe we could get together one of these nights and... talk."  
  
Jessie looked at Tad, suddenly realizing what had been missing from their relationship-- if you would call a couple of dates a relationship. But, what had been missing between them were the feelings... those feelings she now felt for Katie. Those feelings she had never been able to feel for Tad, no matter how cute or funny he was.  
  
"So, what do you say?" Tad asked, his offer for a date hanging in the air.  
  
The old Jessie would have grabbed it eagerly, glad for the attention of the popular boy. But, Jessie wasn't that Jessie anymore. She was going to make her decisions on her feelings... and her feelings were directing her towards Katie. "Oh, no, sorry Tad," Jessie said with a shrug, "I'm kind of seeing someone else."  
  
Tad nodded, but Jessie could see the surprise on his face.  
  
Katie, having arrived behind them just in time to hear Jessie's last statement, smiled as she tapped Jessie on the shoulder. "Hey."  
  
"Hey!" Jessie said happily.  
  
"I'll see you around," Tad said, the rejection not grooving with him too well.  
  
Katie and Jessie watched him walk off. Then they turned to greet each other with identical smiles. Jessie, so touched by the love in Katie's eyes for her, had to shyly look away.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace!" Eli said eagerly as the two met after school at their car.  
  
"Hey," Grace said distracted, as Eli pulled her in for a kiss.  
  
"Come on," Eli said with a grin, "I'm taking you somewhere secret."  
  
"Secret?" Grace asked, interested. "Where?"  
  
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret," Eli said with a silly grin, "But let's just say there's some people you should meet."  
  
Now Grace was truly confused, "Who?"  
  
Eli just shook his head, "Get in and you'll see soon enough."  
  
Grace looked around the parking lot, "What about Jessie? And Zoe?"  
  
Eli smiled, "Jessie is going home with Katie, and I've already asked your mother to pick up Zoe."  
  
Grace, seeing the plans were already made, got in the car. She had been hoping she could just go home and think over this acting group thing. But, it looked like Eli had other plans.  
  
[[Grace - *holding the pamphlet* It's a great opportunity. *defensively..* BUT, I'm not actually thinking of going. I have a great summer planned already. This tour with Eli is going to be great... *smiles weakly*...it is.]]  
  
"We're here," Eli said as he pulled up in front of what looked like an abandoned bar out in the middle of nowhere.  
  
Grace looked around, "I don't think it's open."  
  
"It's not," Eli agreed, "It's been closed for a while now, but the band bought it and uses it for practice." He opened his door and got out of their car.  
  
Grace began to get out the car and paused, "What band?"  
  
Eli smiled, "Well, I was thinking, with you going on the tour with me... it was about time you met the band we'll be opening for. Delivery."  
  
"Oh," Grace said, surprised and nervous. She had heard some of Delivery's CDs... they weren't big-time quite yet, but they were big.  
  
"Come on," Eli said gently, taking her hand. He sensed her nervousness, "They're good guys."  
  
Grace nodded and followed Eli over to the building's entrance.  
  
* * *  
  
"When can we go??" Zoe whined as she climbed up on Lily's bed with her. Lily looked over the paper she was reading as her daughter pouted at her.  
  
Lily patiently explained to her daughter once again, "We'll go pick out a puppy the week after school gets out."  
  
"Why not now?" Zoe asked.  
  
Lily sighed under her breath, having said this all before, "Zoe, you know we want to wait till you're out of school before we get it... that way there'll always be someone at the house to watch it during the day."  
  
Zoe wasn't exactly happy with Lily's responses and silently trumped out of the room. Lily rolled her eyes, tired of Zoe's selfish "I want it now!" attitude. Zoe was lucky they had caved in and allowed her to get a dog in the first place.  
  
"Reading or thinking?" Rick asked, as he came into the room, undoing his tie.  
  
Lily blinked and set down the newspaper, "Both, I guess. How was work?"  
  
Rick shrugged, "The same old." He slipped off his shoes and pushed them into the closet and then he climbed up next to Lily on the bed.  
  
They cuddled together, just enjoying being in each other arms.  
  
"I was thinking April for a girl," Lily said.  
  
Rick smiled, thinking over the name. But he had too much on his mind already. He opened his mouth, meaning to comment on the name choice for the baby, but instead found himself saying, "I saw Jessie kissing her friend."  
  
Lily, surprised by his outburst, said, "Oh?"  
  
Rick pulled away, so he could look at Lily's face, "That's what I've been keeping from you. I talked to Karen about it, and we both decided the best way to deal with it was by not bringing it up. We don't want to upset Jessie."  
  
Lily was confused. She was missing something here.  
  
Rick saw the expression on Lily's face and added, "The friend Jessie was kissing was... Katie."  
  
"Oh," Lily said. Her eyebrows raised, "Oh."  
  
Rick nodded, "I'm beginning to think I should say something to Jessie about it, though... what do you think?"  
  
Lily shrugged, "I don't know. Jessie probably doesn't WANT to talk about it... but as her father, maybe you should talk to her about it."  
  
Rick nodded, that had been what he was thinking, too.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, Eli!" The first guy that noticed them in the doorway called out.  
  
Eli waved and stepped inside, Grace right behind them.  
  
"Are you psyched for the tour, man?" The guy asked excitedly. He had short buzzed blond hair and wore all black.  
  
"Definitely," Eli said with a grin of his own. He pulled Grace next to him, "This is the girl I've been telling you about."  
  
The guy came closer and smiled, "So, you're the girlfriend, Grace?"  
  
Grace nodded.  
  
"I'm Dirk Smithson," The guy said, holding out his hand.  
  
Grace shook it, "Hi."  
  
"The rest of the guys are around here somewhere," Dirk said with an eye roll, "Probably all in the back room smoking or something. I'll go round them up... I'm sure they'd want to meet you," Dirk said with a wink at Grace.  
  
Grace watched as Dirk headed off down a small hallway. "He seems nice," Grace said to Eli.  
  
"They're all nice," Eli assured her. He leaned down to give her a kiss.  
  
"Ugh, no PDAs, please!" A female voice cried out.  
  
Grace twisted her head around in surprise. A pretty petite girl, with long black hair drawn up in a ponytail was looking at the two of them.  
  
"Hey, get used to it," Eli joked, his arm still around Grace. He smiled at the girl, clearly he knew her.  
  
The girl finally broke into a smile, her dark red lips curving upwards. She was even more beautiful when she was smiling... in fact she was almost stunning. Grace felt her gut reacting jealousy towards her. Grace had thought she had gotten over acting jealous over girls in Eli's life... but guess not.  
  
"Grace, this is Amy Lee," Eli introduced her, "Amy, this is my girlfriend, Grace Manning."  
  
Amy nodded, "Right, I kind of figured that when you had your tongue down her throat." She walked closer to them, and now Grace saw that Amy had a silver eyebrow barbell piercing and a matching silver lip ring piercing. Amy, being dressed in a tight black tank top and slim black pants, matched Dirk's own all-black outfit. She looked like she was....  
  
"Are you part of the band?" Grace asked.  
  
Amy nodded.  
  
"Amy's the lead vocalist," Eli explained, "And she can play some heavy guitar."  
  
Grace bit her lip, "But, I thought the lead vocalist was a guy."  
  
Amy laughed, "E! I can't believe you haven't played her any of our new stuff!" She smiled friendly at Grace, "Yeah, Dirk used to do the singing and lead guitar, but I joined the band a few months ago, and we decided to make me be the lead singer instead."  
  
"Oh," Grace said. She didn't like this feeling of jealousy she had. So what if Amy was pretty, and played guitar and wore black and had piercings...? She wasn't Grace, and that was who Eli was with, right? And Grace would be with Eli during the whole tour, so it wasn't like anything was going to happen... Because Grace would be there, right by Eli's side, right?  
  
* * * 


	27. Seeing the Light at the End

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Hey, thanks for reading, as always! I'm not sure how many chapters are left in this series, but it's going to end sometime soon. Oh, and I will probably write another series eventually, but I'm not sure exactly if I'm  
going to jump into right away. :)  
  
Chapter 27//Seeing the Light at the End  
  
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*  
  
*  
  
Grace flipped through the actor workshop pamphlet once more. This was hard... but Grace was pretty sure she knew what she was going to do. The question was of whether she was doing the right thing. Grace wasn't sure.  
  
Grace sighed, slipping the crinkled pamphlet back into her backpack.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow, then," Katie whispered.  
  
Jessie lay back against her purple blankets and smiled. "Tomorrow," She promised into her end of the phone. There was silence as they both were still, neither one wanting to say goodbye.  
  
"Jessie?"  
  
Jessie jumped up and groaned as her mother knocked on her bedroom door. "Just a minute!" Jessie cried out to her mother. She pulled the phone close to her mouth again, "I guessed I really have to go."  
  
"Tomorrow," Katie reminded her.  
  
Jessie smiled and nodded, although Katie couldn't see it. "Tomorrow," Jessie said again. "Goodbye."  
  
"Bye," Katie's voice said and her line clicked dead. Jessie sighed and turned off the phone. She went to her bedroom door.  
  
"Hey sweetie," Karen said as her daughter opened the door to her. Karen reached forward, pushing a stray lock of Jessie's hair behind her ear.  
  
Jessie pushed past her mother, "I'm just going to go hang up the phone."  
  
When Jessie came back her mother was sitting on the edge of Jessie's bed, waiting.  
  
[[Jessie - *scared, nervous* I don't know how to talk to my mother about Katie. I know she wants to talk, but I don't know how to talk to her about... that.]]  
  
"Come sit," Karen said, patting the bed space next to her, "I'll brush your hair."  
  
Jessie didn't want to, knowing what was coming, but she picked up her brush from her dresser anyways.  
  
"You have such beautiful hair," Karen murmured as she began brushing Jessie's long blond hair.  
  
Jessie made a face, which her mother couldn't see, because Jessie's back was to Karen. "Mom, I have 'your' hair."  
  
Karen smiled, "Yeah, but mine isn't nearly as beautiful as it was when I was your age. It's darker and the texture's not the same... I used to have the blondest hair of all the kids in my class..." Karen's voice faded away her face growing misty with memories.  
  
Jessie looked down at her hands as her mother continued brushing.  
  
"But things change," Karen said, snapping back to reality. And to why she came in here... to talk to Jessie about Katie. "You don't even realize they are changing because it happens so slowly... just a bit at a time. And one day you finally see the differences. You finally see the change for what it is."  
  
Jessie was listening closely, her eyes growing watery.  
  
"But, change happens, whether you realize things are changing or not," Karen sighed. She fell into silence, her hand dropping the brush away from Jessie's hair.  
  
Jessie turned around slowly, unable to look at her mother. Finally she said, "Have my changes been for the good?"  
  
Karen smiled, "Honey, change is necessary. We can't stay the same as when we were kids. We grow up, we discover who we are. Sometimes that scares us... sometimes we don't know how to deal with what changes have occurred. But things will all fall into place, just as they are supposed to."  
  
A spare tear fall down Jessie's cheek. "Mom, you know, right?" She asked, finally looking into her mother's eyes. Into the eyes that were so similar to her own. Framed by the hair that had once been just like hers.  
  
Karen smiled, putting a hand on Jessie's shoulder, "I know... your father told me about you and Katie. About you two being more than just friends."  
  
Jessie wanted to duck her head, and deny it. But she held her face up and asked, "And you're okay with it?"  
  
Karen nodded, "Yes."  
  
Jessie's eyes bore into Karen's accusingly. "You're okay that your daughter isn't the perfect person you thought she was?"  
  
Karen's eyes studied Jessie's, "Honey, of course... I love you. And if this is what makes you happy, then how can I be against it? I want you to be happy. That's all I want for my kids."  
  
Jessie was relieved.  
  
Karen stood up, setting Jessie's brush back on her dresser. "I have to go check on dinner," She said.  
  
"Mom?" Jessie called out as Karen was almost out the door.  
  
"Yeah, honey?"  
  
Jessie didn't want to hurt her mother, but it needed to be said... for Eli's sake. "If all you want is for your kids to be happy, then why are you so upset with Eli becoming a musician and not going to college? Because, you know music is what makes him happy."  
  
Karen was startled. She nodded at Jessie's words and slipped out the door in silence.  
  
[[Karen - *laughs* I'm a hypocrite, I guess. *long pause, gets more serious* Music does make Eli happy... and I've been against him becoming a musician. I've been against him doing what he loves. *sighs*]]  
  
* * *  
  
"Amy seems nice," Grace said, trying to sound nonchalant. She looked up from where she sat on the floor of Eli's garage apartment watching Eli practice on his guitar.  
  
Eli nodded, positioning his fingers on the chords, "She is."  
  
Grace fell silent as Eli went through one of the band's latest songs. When he stopped she spoke up again, "She's really pretty too... you know, in that exotic way."  
  
Eli looked up, catching something in Grace's tone. "You don't like her?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "No, she seems nice."  
  
"She is," Eli said again as his eyes studied Grace. He broke into a grin, "You're jealous?"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I'm not jealous."  
  
"You're jealous!" Eli smirked. "Wow."  
  
Grace stood up and came over to where Eli was sitting on his bed, "I'm not jealous. I was just wondering if I should be worried... you know with you and her being close together all summer. I just wanted to make sure... nothing would happen between you two."  
  
"Grace," Eli said, laughing. He pulled her closer to him, "You know nothing's going to happen! I'm madly in love with you. And you're going to be there, right with me... why would you even be a bit worried?"  
  
Grace tried to smile, but it wasn't working. She looked into Eli's eyes, "Just promise me that you're not going to fall for Amy or anything. Just promise me that."  
  
Eli looked confused to why Grace even felt she needed a promise. But he said, "I promise."  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey! Is Jessie ready?" Rick asked as Karen opened the door to him.  
  
Karen shook her head, "Is Jessie ever ready?" She and Rick shared a smile and then Karen called up the stairs, "Jess! Your dad's here!"  
  
"I'll be down in a minute," Jessie called back.  
  
Karen drew Rick to the kitchen, where Jessie wouldn't overhear them. "I talked with her," Karen told him.  
  
"You did?"  
  
Karen smiled, "It went well. She didn't tell me anything about her and Katie... but I didn't want to push her."  
  
Rick nodded.  
  
Karen looked into her ex-husband's eyes, "You should talk with her."  
  
Rick turned his head to the side and sighed. He turned back to Karen, rubbing a hand over his forehead, "I don't know what to say to her... about it."  
  
"Rick, she's your daughter!" Karen said sharply, "She needs to know you approve."  
  
"Do I approve?" Rick asked aloud.  
  
Karen frowned, "How could you not? Don't you see how this has changed Jessie's life? Can't you see the happiness in her eyes that Katie has brought her?"  
  
Rick shrugged, "I don't know what's in her eyes... she won't even look at me anymore."  
  
"She's embarrassed!" Karen said, "You saw a very private, intimate moment between two scared girls. She doesn't know what to say to you... just like you don't know what to say to her. You're both embarrassed... and scared."  
  
Rick looked at Karen and then turned away. His eyes ran over the kitchen counter... the one that didn't belong to him anymore. He had changed. Things between him and Karen had changed, and he had moved out, changing things for their kids. One change affects everyone who's connected.  
  
"Rick..." Karen said, gently. "She needs you. You're her father."  
  
Rick looked back at Karen, "You're okay with it? With our daughter being a... lesbian?" Rick whispered the word 'lesbian'.  
  
Karen nodded, "I'm okay with her being happy." Jessie's words about Eli still hung over Karen's head and she asked Rick, "Can you have Eli come over here the next time he gets a chance?"  
  
Rick looked up, surprised by the change in subject. Ever since Eli had told them about his plans to be a musician, he had been spending less and less time at his mother's house. There was just too much tension between them. Something in Karen's eyes now told him this was important, "Sure, I'll tell him."  
  
Jessie's footsteps sounded on the stairs. Rick looked over, his face unreadable.  
  
"Talk to her," Karen said one last time before Jessie entered the kitchen.  
  
Rick gave what Karen hoped to be a nod.  
  
* * *  
  
"The Turner Future Actor's workshop?" Cynthia asked.  
  
Grace nodded, "Yeah, I think that's the name."  
  
"That's a big deal!" Cynthia said. She smiled, "I did it last summer. It was great."  
  
"You did?" Grace said, surprised. She hadn't thought that it might be the kind of workshop that happened every summer.  
  
Cynthia nodded, and opened her mouth to make another comment, but closed it quickly.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Grace turned around and saw Travis standing there. Travis looked at Cynthia with a hint of sadness. He and Grace hadn't talked since the incident at the club. And Travis hadn't really talked to Cynthia since they had broken up and decided to be 'just friends'... which meant they had ignored each other for the past few weeks.  
  
"Hi," Grace said, unsurely.  
  
"Mr. Morris told me you're one of the other chosen ones," Travis said, directing his comment at Grace, while his eyes still lay on Cynthia. "You know, for the actor's workshop?"  
  
Grace hadn't expected this, "You're in it too?"  
  
Travis nodded, "Kelly Witherson is in it also. She's a junior. She was in the spring play."  
  
Grace nodded. She snuck a glance at Cynthia, who was sneaking peaks up at Travis.  
  
"I just wanted to come over and say something," Travis said, "Seeing as we're going to be spending the summer together and all..."  
  
Grace shook her head, "I haven't agreed to it, yet."  
  
"Oh," Travis was surprised. "You mean, you don't want to do it?"  
  
"No, I do..." Grace smiled, "But... there's other things to consider."  
  
Travis nodded slowly, "Well, I guess I might see you... or I might not."  
  
Grace nodded.  
  
Travis turned his eyes on Cynthia, "I hope I see you around... I mean it."  
  
Cynthia smiled a bit and said, "Me too."  
  
Grace smiled, happy for the both of them. She was glad it seemed like she was out of this triangle. She didn't know if Travis and Cynthia would get back together, but... It was good to see them talking again. The look in their eyes for each other were... hopeful.  
  
* * * 


	28. The One I Hold So Dear

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Hey! Thanks for reading/reviewing, as always! I'm actually thinking that I'm not going to write about the summer months after all! I'm just going to wrap up the loose ends and tie a nice pretty bow on this story... and done! Oh, and Danielle, PDAs stand for Public Displays of Affection. : )  
  
Chapter 28// The One I Hold so Dear  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Mom?" Eli asked, a bit nervously. His father had told him that his mother wanted to see him. Eli didn't know what that mean... if it was bad or good.  
  
[[Eli - *holding guitar* I don't get my mother. I don't understand why she never wants to let me do the things I want. *strums a chord, sighs* I bet she hates the failure of a son she produced.]]  
  
"Eli!" Karen said enthusiastically, as she came into the front hallway.  
  
"Hi," Eli said unsurely. His mother was never this happy around him anymore... Something was different. "What's up?" Eli asked, setting down his guitar case. "I just came from practice... and I really should get home before-" Eli cut himself off. He bit his tongue.  
  
Karen's eyes were injured by Eli calling Lily's his "home". Eli could see how his slip had hurt her.  
  
[[Eli - *defensively* Well, I do spend more time over there... It is my home... one of them.]]  
  
Karen looked away, shuffling the magazines on the front table. When she looked back at her son, her eyes were cool and collected. "I wanted to talk to you."  
  
Eli nodded and scratched the back of his head, "That's what Dad said."  
  
Karen nodded herself, and looked around, "Well, come into the living room... are you hungry? Thirsty?"  
  
"No," Eli answered as he sat in the chair across from his mother. He waited for his mother to begin.  
  
Karen had planned what to say, but found herself blurting out, "This is still your home, you know?"  
  
Eli nodded, "Of course I know that, mom-"  
  
Karen cut him off, her eyes as sharp as her words, "This is your home as much as Lily's and your father's house."  
  
"I know, mom," Eli grunted. He slunk down in his chair.  
  
Karen sighed, realizing this wasn't how she wanted to start this conversation. She looked back over at her son, her voice having lost its edge, "I love you, E."  
  
"I know," Eli said, but his voice was dull... unsure.  
  
"I will never ever stop loving you," Karen continued, "And I may not show it best at times, because I'm trying to be a good mother... Because I'm trying to do what's best for you."  
  
"But--" Eli tried to cut in, but Karen held up a hand.  
  
"Just let me say this, E," She said and Eli let her continue, "And I realized that what I see as being best for you... and what is really best for you are two different things. I forgot that you know what's best for you. I thought I knew you better than you knew yourself. So, I thought college was where you should be headed. And... I was wrong."  
  
Eli, who had been scowling slightly, looked up in surprise. Did his mother just admit to being wrong? "You were?" Eli asked.  
  
Karen nodded, her eyes shining with love for her son, "Yes. You love music. I knew that, but I pushed it aside... hoping I could mold you into being what I had always pictured for you."  
  
"What did you picture?" Eli asked softly.  
  
Karen laughed, "A doctor. It's silly..."  
  
Eli smiled, "I hate the sight of blood."  
  
Karen nodded, "I know." She laughed again. "But, I was hanging onto the idea of you being someone successful... someone important... I was hanging onto this idea so much, that I pushed away any thought that you could do something else. I always figured you'd go to college. I never thought it would be any different."  
  
Eli nodded, "But it is different."  
  
Karen smiled, "So I realized." She paused, looking directly into her son's eyes, "I think you'll make a great musician."  
  
Eli couldn't believe how much those words touched him. His eyes teared up a bit, as finally... finally, his mother was believing in him. Finally, his mother saw him for him. It felt good, it did.  
  
Karen reached out, touching his hand, "And you'll always be successful and important to me... no matter what you do in life."  
  
Eli tugged his mother closer to him, giving her a long hug. "I love you, mom," He whispered.  
  
"I love you, E," Karen said back, brimming with emotion.  
  
"I know," Eli said, and this time he did know.  
  
* * *  
  
"I can't believe school gets out next week!" Jessie said happily.  
  
Grace, leaning against Jessie's dresser, smiled. It had been one crazy school-year, that was for sure. She and Eli had started out as a couple, only to break up when Grace became afraid of them being so much attached when she was so young still. And then they had gotten back together. Grace had turned 16, and now she had a special summer looming before her.  
  
Jessie began singing along to the song on the radio, bopping around and dancing. Grace watched her with a smile for her step-sister. When the station broke into a commercial Grace spoke up, "It's been a good school year for you, then?"  
  
Jessie turned to her and grinned, "It's been amazing!" Jessie stopped, thinking it over, "I started out feeling horrible... I had no friends, none at all... and you and Eli were so wrapped up in each other, I felt invisible around here," Jessie looked up to make sure she hadn't hurt Grace's feelings and then continued, "But, then I met Katie. AND everything changed! I've never felt so..." Jessie trailed off, giving a shy smile instead of any more words.  
  
Grace's mouth itched to ask Jessie what she had been about to say, but she knew Jessie had stopped for a reason. Grace respected that Jessie wanted to keep some things secret. But, Grace had an inkling to what had been on the tip of Jessie's tongue. It was written all over Jessie's face whenever she spoke about Katie. Jessie would tell Grace when she was ready.  
  
"Eli and I are back together," Grace broke out suddenly. "We have been for a while."  
  
Jessie looked up, surprised... but not too surprised. She smiled, "I'm glad. Eli really loves you, you know?"  
  
Grace smiled. "I know," She said contentedly.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace?" Eli asked. He was disappointed to see that her room lay empty. He entered though, because he knew she was home, and figured she'd come up to her room soon enough. Eli just wanted to tell her about what his mother had said. Eli felt very happy, knowing his mother had finally come around. He wanted to share the good news with her.  
  
Grace's backpack lay spilled against her bed. Eli sat down on an uncluttered edge. He smiled as he saw the CD he had made Grace so long ago lay amongst the notebooks and folders. Eli took out the CD and put it into Grace's CD player. He hadn't listened to some of the band's old work in quite a while. He planned to listen through the whole CD, but found himself jumping ahead to his favorite... the one he had written especially for Grace.  
  
"There's a girl I cherish  
  
Brown eyes that will never perish  
  
I couldn't be more gone  
  
But this doesn't feel so wrong  
  
Nothing's left in my mind  
  
Thoughts of her taking up all my time..."  
  
Eli smiled, a rush of overwhelming feelings coming over him. He had loved Grace so much even back then. Eli softly sang the words, knowing that if his father came into the room, he'd be busted. His and Grace's relationship starting back up was supposed to be a secret. But Eli didn't want to stop the song. It was too full of memories and feelings.  
  
"There's no one else  
  
There's no other Grace  
  
No one could ever take her place  
  
And I try to live and breathe  
  
But I feel her inside of me  
  
I have nothing to fear  
  
Except the one I hold so dear..."  
  
Eli smiled. He definitely had to play this song on the tour. He'd start out with a dedication for his love, Grace, and then launch into the song. Eli was already picturing the pleased look on Grace's face as she watched him from off-stage. This was their song. Eli laid back on the bed, but sat up quickly as he remembered the stuff spread out on the bed. He didn't want to crush it. Eli pushed some of the notebooks and papers to the side, clearing a spot for him to relax on. He paused as his hand picked up a pamphlet. He read the title: The Turner's Future Actor's Workshop. He opened it, reading through it curiously.  
  
"...So life goes on  
  
And I sing her song  
  
There's no one else  
  
There's no other Grace  
  
No one could ever take her place  
  
There's no other Grace..."  
  
"Eli?"  
  
Eli looked up, quickly shoving the pamphlet under a notebook before Grace saw him holding it.  
  
Grace was smiling as she stood in the doorway. She looked lovingly at Eli, "This song means so much to me."  
  
Eli smiled, reaching out to take her hand, "Me too." The song had ended, so Eli went to the CD player, making it play again from the beginning. Then he went back to Grace, taking her in his arms. "I love you."  
  
Grace smiled, "I know. I love you, too."  
  
"I know," Eli said. He looked over Grace's shoulder, at the bed... the corner of the pamphlet stuck out from under the notebook. Inside Eli was confused, curious, worried... he had read the details of the workshop--- it took place over the summer.  
  
"What are you thinking of?" Grace asked him as they swayed slightly to the song.  
  
Eli looked back at her big brown eyes, "You... of course."  
  
Grace smiled, pleased. She dropped her head to rest on Eli's shoulder as they continued slow-dancing.  
  
* * *  
  
Rick paused as he walked past Grace's open door. Grace and Eli were slow-dancing, their eyes closed as they moved to the music. Rick was surprised... but not that surprised. He had always assumed they would get back together. It was clear they cared for each other deeply-- just like it was clear Jessie cared deeply for Katie. Rick nodded to himself, he was hesitating. He continued past Grace's door and headed up to the attic. He was going to talk to Jessie.  
  
Rick knocked on Jessie's door.  
  
"Come in," Jessie called out.  
  
Rick entered. He and Jessie regarded each other, a bit shyly... a bit nervously.  
  
Rick continued to walk towards his daughter. He sat on the edge of her bed. She was sitting against the headboard of her bed with her arms grasping her knees. Rick looked forward, at her room, instead of at her as he spoke, "I will always love you... no matter what."  
  
Jessie was silent.  
  
Rick sighed. He looked down at his hands, so much like his father's. So worn, so hard... worker's hands. Finally he spoke again, "Jess... I know it was hard for you to have had me witness your's and... Katie's kiss..."  
  
Jessie squirmed a bit.  
  
Rick glanced over his shoulder, briefly, looking at his little girl. "It's been hard for me too. I never expected... I was surprised. I hadn't considered that... But, if this makes you happy..."  
  
Jessie looked off to her side.  
  
"Then, you should do... what makes you happy," Rick continued. "And... Katie... if she makes you happy, then..." Rick sighed, and lapsed into silence.  
  
Jessie turned her face back to look at her father's still back. Her eyes were full of unshed tears.  
  
Rick stood up, he looked back at his daughter, trying not to see the tears in her eyes, "Just... remember I'll always love you, no matter what."  
  
Jessie nodded, unable to look into her father's eyes. "I know," She said lifelessly.  
  
Rick paused, unsure, and then patted Jessie's knee and quickly left the room. Jessie reached up, brushing the tears off her cheeks.  
  
* * * 


	29. Over the Rainbow

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Chapter 29// Over the Rainbow  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
"Woo-hoo!"  
  
Jessie turned around and was immediately embraced by Katie in a hug. Jessie cautiously hugged her girlfriend back, wary of people seeing them like this. Katie caught on and reluctantly let go. "School is done!" Katie said happily, sliding a lock of hair back behind her ear.  
  
Jessie nodded and grinned. Summer was upon them.  
  
"I have that family trip to Canada, but then after that, we have the whole summer together!" Katie gushed.  
  
"Yeah, it's going to be great," Jessie said, but her words sounded hollow.  
  
Katie moved aside to let another student get to her locker. She looked at Jessie curiously, careful not to say too much as she was aware of the other students in the hallway that might overhear, "What's wrong? Aren't you happy that we'll get to... spend so much time together?"  
  
Jessie nodded, "Of course." She waited until the girl next to them finished at her locker and walked away. Jessie sullenly said, "I talked with my dad... about us."  
  
"That's great!" Katie said cheerfully. She paused and looked at Jessie's expression, "Is... is he against it... against us?"  
  
Jessie sighed and shrugged, "I don't know. I can tell he's disappointed... with me."  
  
Jessie's eyes teared up, and Katie longed to hug her girlfriend, but too many people remained in the hallway, and Katie knew if she tied to comfort her, Jessie would only push her away. Katie sadly looked at Jessie. "It'll be okay," She whispered.  
  
Jessie gave a small nod.  
  
* * *  
  
"Mr. Morris?" Grace asked, knocking on his opened door.  
  
"Oh, Grace," Mr. Morris acknowledged her. "I was wondering if you were going to come talk to me... this is about the actor's workshop, right?"  
  
Grace nodded, slipping further into the room.  
  
Mr. Morris smiled, "Come in, sit."  
  
Grace sat down on the chair next to his desk. The wrinkled pamphlet lay in her hands.  
  
* * *  
  
"You look so great," Karen said, her eyes watery.  
  
Eli grimaced. He pulled at the front of his graduation gown, "Mom, I'm wearing a dress."  
  
Karen smiled, "It's a gown... a very special gown. You're graduating from high school."  
  
Eli uncomfortably moved in the heavy fabric. He went and put an arm around his mother, "It's not the end of the world."  
  
Karen nodded, sniffling a bit.  
  
[[Karen - I can't believe he got so old... so fast. He's all grown up. He doesn't need me anymore. *tearful smile* But then, he rarely ever did need me. He's always been so independent. He used to dress himself when he was just a little boy. He'd never match his shirt to his pants, and he'd always have two different colored socks, but he was always so proud of himself. He'd come out of his room in these horrible outfits and he'd smile... *crying* He'd smile that proud little boy smile, because he did it himself. He was always such a big boy even as just a little baby.... and now he's not my baby anymore.]]  
  
Karen kissed her son's cheek, trying to stop herself from crying. She smiled at Eli, "You're right, it's not the end of the world... it's the beginning. You have your whole life ahead of you, Eli."  
  
Eli, touched by his mother's sentiments, gave her a quick kiss on the forehead in return.  
  
* * *  
  
"Grace! Where have you been?" Lily cried as Grace entered the house.  
  
"I had to..." Grace began.  
  
Lily cut her off, "Well, go get dressed! We're leaving for the graduation in twenty minutes."  
  
Grace nodded, dropping her backpack on the bench by the door, and rushed up the stairs. She definitely wanted to look nice for Eli's special day.  
  
Zoe entered her room just as Grace was putting the finishing touches on her makeup. Grace turned, feeling her eyes on her, "What?"  
  
Zoe looked at her older sister. Grace was wearing a form-fitting black dress and black pumps. Her hair had grown longer in the past couple of months and was tied up elegantly in a loose bun. Zoe smiled, "You look great."  
  
Grace smiled at her sister, touched. "You look great too, kiddo." And she did. Zoe was wearing a pink flowered print dress and her long hair was in a braid down her back.  
  
Zoe rolled her eyes at the 'kiddo' part. "I'm not a little kid anymore," She complained. "I've gone out on dates, Grace. Brad wants me to be his girlfriend, but I'm not sure if I'm going to because I won't see him as much during the summer as we did at school. I think I'm going to wait until next school year before I become someone's girlfriend," She said importantly. "....I'm growing up."  
  
Grace smiled lovingly at her little sister. "Come on, we've got to get going," Grace said and led them out of the room.  
  
"Girls!" Lily was yelling as they came down the stairs. She paused, as she caught site of her two beautiful daughters. Rick was standing behind his wife, and he smiled at his two step-daughters, "You both look beautiful."  
  
Zoe slowed her hurried walk down the stairs, delighted by the comment. Grace rolled her eyes, and pushed her sister to hurry up, "We can't be late!"  
  
"Right, right, let's go," Rick said, slipping on his jacket.  
  
"What about Jessie?" Lily asked.  
  
"Oh, she's already there, with Katie," Rick said offhandedly. Lily looked at him curiously, trying to sense what he felt about what he had just said... about Jessie and Katie. But Rick's face was a blank mask. "Let's go!" Rick said again.  
  
The four of them trooped out to the car.  
  
* * *  
  
"Where is he?" Zoe whispered after they had taken their seats in the back of the auditorium, along with all the other guests of the graduates.  
  
Grace hushed her, as the principal was making his speech, but pointed out Eli for Zoe. Eli turned around, catching them looking at him. He winked and made a face.  
  
Zoe giggled.  
  
Lily looked warningly over at Zoe. Zoe shut her mouth and pretended she was listening to the guy up on the stage, but actually she was thinking of what she would name her dog.  
  
[[Zoe - I was thinking of Oranges. Or Pringles. I don't want to name it Fluffy or something, especially if it's not fluffy. And it depends on if it's a girl or a boy dog. Like I wouldn't want to have a boy dog named Lucy or something. That just wouldn't be right!]]  
  
Karen watched as it got closer to Eli's turn to go on stage. She kept thinking about how her first born was now a high school graduate. He was so old.  
  
"Here," Lily whispered.  
  
Karen turned, and smiled. She took the tissue Lily had offered her gratefully. She dabbed her eyes, hating herself for crying like this.  
  
A few seats up and to the left, Jessie sat with Katie. Jessie glanced over her shoulder looking at where Grace, Zoe, her father and her mother all sat... looking like one big family. And, Jessie was separate from that, sitting off by herself, with Katie.  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!" Jake said with a grin. He clapped Eli on the shoulder, "How does it feel, high school graduate?"  
  
Eli shrugged, "The same."  
  
Jake laughed. He moved away to go say hi to Lily. Eli looked around Jake's restaurant, which had been converted into a graduation party... for him. Eli couldn't believe Grace's dad had done all this for him.  
  
"Hey," Grace said, coming up to him. She hugged him.  
  
Eli hugged her back, but then tried to draw away, "What about...?"  
  
Grace smiled, and kissed him lightly on the lips, "I've already told my father we're back together. My mom knows, Zoe knows, Jessie knows, and I'm pretty sure your dad knows. So, we don't have much of a secret to keep anymore."  
  
Eli was glad of that. He hated keeping secrets. But then he blinked, "Wait... your father knows?"  
  
Grace nodded, smiling.  
  
"And he still threw this party for me?"  
  
Grace nodded again.  
  
Eli was shocked. He looked over at where Jake and Lily were conversing. Jake turned his head and saw Eli looked at him. Jake smiled. Eli looked back at Grace, "Your father's a great man."  
  
Grace smiled, "He is." The music turned to a slow song and Grace reached for Eli's hands, "Let's dance."  
  
* * *  
  
"We don't have to go in," Katie said as she and Jessie stood in the parking lot to the restaurant. They had been standing out there for a few minutes already.  
  
Jessie nervously looked at the door. Her whole family was in there. Jessie wanted to go in, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for it. Jessie didn't know if she was ready to bring Katie into her life.  
  
"Or, I could leave and you could go in... alone," Katie suggested.  
  
Jessie looked up, "No... how about I leave with you?"  
  
Katie shook her head, "Jess. It's your brother in there. Your family's in there. I know you want to go in there. Look, I'll call you when my family gets back from Canada, okay?"  
  
Jessie shook her head. Katie was leaving tomorrow for her family's two week trip, and Jessie wanted to spend each moment she could with her girlfriend before she had to say goodbye. "Let's go in," Jessie said decisively.  
  
Katie unsurely smiled, "You mean it?"  
  
Jessie nodded, and leaned forward, giving Katie a quick kiss, "I mean it."  
  
* * *  
  
"Is that little Ethan?" Jessie said as she and Katie ran into Tiffany first. "He's so big!"  
  
Tiffany nodded. She looked particularly lovely in a light yellow summer dress. She held baby Ethan.  
  
"Hey there," Jessie said as Ethan's big blue eyes looked up at her. Jessie tickled Ethan's chin and he giggled. Jessie smiled. It had been so long since she had seen him.  
  
"Katie, right?" Tiffany asked.  
  
Jessie froze, wondering if somehow Tiffany had found out about the two of them.  
  
Katie nodded.  
  
"Yeah, you were at Lily's once when I was there," Tiffany said. "You're Jessie's friend?"  
  
Katie opened her mouth to speak, but Jessie cut her off. Jessie knew Tiffany could be trusted with the truth. Tiffany was a very open spirit. "She's my girlfriend," Jessie said.  
  
Katie grinned happily. Jessie looked at her and smiled back.  
  
"Well, nice to met you again," Tiffany said, unfazed by it all. "I'm Tiffany... Jessie's uh..." Tiffany laughed, "I'm not sure what I am. But I'm Grace's dad's new wife."  
  
Katie broke from her and Jessie's stare and said to Tiffany, "Hi."  
  
* * *  
  
"Hey Jess!" Karen said later, coming up to hug her daughter. "I missed you at the graduation. You did go to it, right?"  
  
Jessie nodded, "Yeah, Katie and I were there."  
  
"That's good," Karen said. She looked around, "Is Katie here?"  
  
Jessie blushed, "Why? Are you going to embarrass me?"  
  
Karen smiled good-naturedly. "Of course not. I just wanted to meet her."  
  
Jessie rolled her eyes, eating a spoonful of cake, "Mom, you've met her before. She's still the same Katie you used to know..."  
  
Karen nodded, "I know. But... I just wanted to say 'hi' is all."  
  
Jessie smiled, "Well, she's in the bathroom. You can say hi when she comes back."  
  
Karen smiled nervously. She touched her hair, which was up in a french twist. "Do I look alright?" She asked her daughter.  
  
Jessie laughed, "Mom! It's just Katie..."  
  
Karen smiled and shook her head, "No she's not 'just Katie' anymore. She's important to you, so she's important to me too."  
  
Jessie shyly leaned forward, and surprised her mother with a warm hug.  
  
[[Karen - *smiles happily*]]  
  
* * * 


	30. Leaving it to Change

~A Once and Again Series~  
  
The Way We Are  
  
Okay, sad stuff! This is the last chapter! I'll probably write another series sometime, but not right away. Thanks everyone so much for reading  
and reviewing!!!  
  
Chapter 30//Leaving it to Change  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
(starts off at Eli's graduation... continuation of last chapter)  
  
"Wanna dance?"  
  
Jessie's eyebrows shot up and she shook her head 'no'. She looked around the crowded restaurant. Mostly it was Eli's friends, his band mates, Grace's friends, and people who were just good friends of the family. "Katie, there's too many people," Jessie warned.  
  
Katie smiled, "I didn't mean a slow dance! Just, like normal dancing... the kind you do with your friends."  
  
Jessie looked around, even though there was music sourcing through the restaurant, no one was really dancing. Only when a slow song came on, did couples start to form and sway to the music. "No one else is dancing."  
  
"Then we'll be the only ones having fun," Katie urged her with an irresistible smile. Jessie found herself nodding, and following Katie to the small space that was converted to be the dance floor. At first Jessie moved shyly and awkwardly, aware of eyes watching her. But then the song changed, a faster paced rhythm came on. Jessie started to enjoy herself.  
  
Katie was laughing, singing along to the music, and dancing her heart out. Jessie watched her while she did her own dancing, amazed by Katie's pure loveliness.  
  
Karen looked over at the two of them. They looked so beautiful together. Jessie's light hair balancing Katie's dark. Karen grinned. Jessie had brought Katie over to her a little while ago and they had had a great conversation. Karen had saw that Katie was still the bubbly sweet girl who had been Jessie's best friend... only now she was also Jessie's girlfriend.  
  
"Oh, Rick, look," Lily breathed, tugging on her husband's shoulder. "They're perfect together."  
  
Rick looked over at his dancing daughter. Lily watched him out of the corner of her eye, wondering how he'd take it. Rick watched Jessie acting so happy and so free. Jessie had never let herself go like this... she had always been one to worry, one to fear. But now...  
  
[[Rick - Katie's affecting her... for the good. *long pause, thoughtful* My little baby is growing up into a beautiful, happy girl.]]  
  
Rick turned his attention back to Lily, and smiled. Lily smiled back, relieved.  
  
Grace looked over, seeing the two of them dancing and smiled. She tugged on Eli's hand and they joined them. Soon the tiny space was filled with dancing teenagers, and Katie and Jessie were in the middle of it all, smiling happily.  
  
* * *  
  
A while later, Grace was holding Ethan while he slowly drifted to sleep. She looked up, noticing the restaurant was almost bare now. Katie and Jessie had left in Katie's car a few minutes ago, and now the only people left were her family, and Eli. Grace strained her neck, looking for Eli, wanting to share a smile with him. It had been quite a night, and quite a party. She couldn't believe her father had done all this for Eli... she still couldn't believe her father approved of the two of them. It felt good. Everything was perfect.  
  
Grace turned her head, looking the other way, but she still didn't see Eli any where. That was odd.  
  
"Hey pumpkin," Jake said, coming up to them.  
  
"Oh, you want him?" Grace asked, ready to transfer Ethan into her father's arms.  
  
"No," Jake smiled, "I was calling you 'pumpkin'."  
  
Grace smiled, oddly touched. "Dad, I'm 16. I'm not a 'pumpkin' anymore."  
  
Jake leaned forward, kissing her forehead, "You'll always be my pumpkin, even when you're 64."  
  
Grace rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. She looked down at Ethan, "I think he's asleep."  
  
Jake nodded. "Your little brother is going to miss you when you leave."  
  
Grace looked up, "Hmm?"  
  
"When you go on the tour," Jake said, "He's not going to have his favorite babysitter around anymore."  
  
Grace smiled, looking into her dad's eyes. Something told her it was her father who was going to miss her. "Dad..." Grace said, her voice filled with emotion, "I'll miss you, too. But this tour means a lot to me and Eli."  
  
"I know," Jake said, putting an hand on Grace's shoulder. "I know."  
  
* * *  
  
Eli sat in his and Grace's car. He needed space to think. Tonight was just so perfect, and it hurt him... It hurt him to know he'd be leaving Grace behind soon. He had seen that pamphlet for the actor's workshop, and he knew this was something Grace would want to do... and he knew this was something Grace had to do.  
  
But it still hurt him. He had gotten his hopes up about this tour, and he never even asked Grace if she had other plans. Eli couldn't let her cancel on the workshop thing to go on tour with him. He had to make sure she was following her dreams and not his.  
  
A light tap on the car window made Eli jump, and then Grace was sliding into the passenger's seat. "I was wondering where you went off to," Grace said, her tone happy and tinkling.  
  
"I just had to think," Eli muttered. He slipped the car key into the ignition and turned it. "Are you ready to go?"  
  
Grace nodded, and buckled her seatbelt. Her smile transformed into a frown. Something was bugging Eli.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'm going to miss you so much."  
  
"I'm going to miss you too. But it won't be that long before I come back."  
  
"I know," Jessie said with a sigh. Her hand was tightly grabbing onto Katie's as they sat in Katie's car, parked near Jessie's mom house. "I just found you and now..."  
  
"I'll be back in two weeks," Katie said with humor in her eyes, "You'll survive, Nutmeg."  
  
"I hope so, Ginger," Jessie said, saying their silly nicknames for each other. She leaned closer, pressing her forehead against Katie's. "Just promise me you won't fall in love with some hunky Canadian named Trevor."  
  
Katie laughed, "You promise me you won't go falling in love with Tad while I'm gone."  
  
The girls smiled at each other, saying at the same time, "Promise." They tilted their heads, lining up their lips in a goodbye kiss.  
  
* * *  
  
Eli silently lead Grace into his garage apartment. He sat her down on the edge of his bed and then he thought about how to say this...  
  
"What is it?" Grace asked anxiously.  
  
Eli sighed, and then just got out with it, "I saw your brochure about the actor's workshop."  
  
"Oh," Grace said, slightly surprised, but that was all. "...And?"  
  
"I think you should do it," Eli said. He paused, it hurt him to say it, "this summer. I think you should do it instead of the tour."  
  
Grace opened her mouth to speak, but Eli held up a hand, he wasn't finished. "Grace, I want you to come on the tour, I do... but I don't want you to give up your own dreams, just to become a part of mine."  
  
Grace smiled, "But, Eli, you are in my dreams."  
  
Eli looked at her sadly, "But, acting is your calling. I saw you in that play, Grace. You were amazing. You can't give that up for me."  
  
Grace was still smiling. She shook her head, "I don't have to give it up for you."  
  
"Huh?" Eli asked.  
  
Grace laughed, "Eli! If you would have let me speak, I could have told you I am going to do the actor's workshop--"  
  
"Oh," Eli interrupted, crestfallen. He had told her to do exactly that... he had thought she should do the workshop instead of the tour, but it still hurt to be hearing her agreeing with him.  
  
"Eli!" Grace said, catching his attention, "Listen to me... I'm doing the actor's workshop NEXT summer."  
  
Eli felt his heart lift, "Next summer?"  
  
Grace smiled and nodded, "They do it every summer. Usually Mr. Morris picks his choices for the workshop at the end of the school term, judging them by how they acted in the plays that year. But, when I told him I couldn't do it this summer he offered me a slot for next summer, as long as I act in at least one of the plays next year."  
  
Eli smiled, he was so relieved. "So, you're still going on tour with me?"  
  
Grace nodded, "Of course."  
  
Eli reached down, running a hand along her cheek. Grace looked into his eyes lovingly. "I was so scared I would have to do it without you," Eli admitted, "Even though I thought you should do the workshop, a part of me selfishly wanted you with me on tour anyways."  
  
"Well, I can do both," Grace said lightly. But she could see in Eli's eyes just how upset he had been at the idea of their separation for the summer. "And if I couldn't, I would have still picked you, Eli."  
  
Eli smiled, "I wouldn't have let you pick me."  
  
Grace smiled, "You wouldn't have had a say in it. I'm very single- minded when I want to be."  
  
Eli nodded, "That's one of things I love about you." He bent down, meeting Grace in a passionate kiss.  
  
When their lips untangled Grace looked up into his eyes. She touched his lips lightly with her finger, "And your kisses are one of the things I love about you."  
  
"What else do you love about me?" Eli asked, as he and Grace fell over onto the bed. Eli lay on top of her, his hands linked in her fine brown hair.  
  
Grace kissed his lips lightly. "Everything," She answered.  
  
"Me too," Eli murmured into her neck, "Me too."  
  
* * *  
  
"COME SEE!"  
  
Grace stood up from the kitchen table, her eyes widening at Zoe's yell. Eli followed her into the living room. Lily and Zoe had just walked in the front door.  
  
"Isn't she so cute?" Zoe asked, she shifted her arms, and a small black dog peeked over at Eli and Grace. "I named her Pringles."  
  
They all petted the tiny dog. Grace laughed as the dog licked her fingers.  
  
"I thought you didn't like dogs," Zoe said accusingly as Grace cradled the puppy in her arms.  
  
Grace smiled, "So, I changed my mind."  
  
Zoe grinned, "Come here, Pringles." Pringles obeyed; already everyone could see Zoe was the dog's favorite. Zoe picked the dog up and hugged it happily.  
  
* * *  
  
"We have news," Lily said two weeks later.  
  
Zoe rolled her eyes, "I think we all figured that out when you asked us to sit in the living room."  
  
"Yeah," Eli added with a smile, "We don't have these family meetings unless you guys have news."  
  
"So?" Jessie asked.  
  
"Yeah, what is it?" Grace said, "I really should finish packing."  
  
Rick opened his mouth to speak, but Zoe spoke up. "The last time they called us together like this was when they told us they were having a baby," She reminded the rest of them.  
  
Jessie nodded, "Well, it can't be that. Maybe we're getting a bigger house!"  
  
Grace shook her head, "I doubt it. But with the baby coming, soon someone's going to have to share a room again."  
  
The three girls looked at each other warily. No one wanted to have to share a room. Jessie and Zoe hadn't gotten along, and Jessie and Grace probably wouldn't be much better.... and Grace and Zoe would just be a disaster waiting to happen.  
  
Lily turned and looked at Rick with a soft smile.  
  
"After the tour I'll have enough money to move into my own apartment if I want," Eli said thoughtfully. "That would be cool."  
  
"I call dibs on the garage!" Zoe said quickly.  
  
"No way!" Grace said with annoyance, "You are the youngest. I get the apartment, and then Jessie, if she wants it."  
  
Jessie shook her head, "I like the attic."  
  
Zoe frowned, "That's not fair! I want to at least get to live in the attic or the garage. You guys can't have both!"  
  
"I'm not giving up the attic," Jessie said at the same time Grace said, "Yes we can... we're older!"  
  
Zoe fumed. "That's so not fair! I hate being the youngest!" Pringles, in her lap, was sleeping through the whole fight.  
  
"I'll be gone in two years!" Grace reminded her, "Then I'll move in with Eli when I go to college." She looked at Eli and they shared a smile.  
  
Lily's eyes widened at that, "Hey, hey, no one's moving anywhere, yet."  
  
Jessie rolled her eyes, "Well, then what did you want to talk to us about?"  
  
Rick took his wife's hand, "We just thought you should know..."  
  
Lily picked it up and continued, "We had another doctor's visit. And they did an ultrasound, and they heard two heartbeats."  
  
For a moment the room was silent, and then they all started talking at once.  
  
"You mean two babies?" Zoe squealed.  
  
"Twins?" Grace asked, a bit unsure of what to think of it.  
  
"Wow!" Jessie said, amazed.  
  
"Twins," Eli said quietly.  
  
Lily and Rick smiled at each other. "Yup, twins," Lily said happily. The room was silent again, thinking of what this meant... they'd have two new additions to the family... two voices crying at night, two babies needed to be changed and feed...  
  
Zoe wrinkled her nose, "So, where are they going to sleep?"  
  
Rick smiled, "In our room while they're young... and then we'll figure something out."  
  
Lily nodded. They'd figure something out, together, as a family.  
  
* * *  
  
"I can't believe she cried," Grace said as she lay back in Eli's arms. They were on their way, on the road. Anti-Inflammatory wasn't big enough to have a nice tour bus, but since they were traveling with Delivery, anyways, the two bands were sharing a rather nice tour bus.  
  
Now Grace was sitting with Eli on the couch of the bus, leaning back against him, recalling the tears in her mother's eyes as they had said goodbye.  
  
"If I'm not mistaken, you were a little teary-eyed, too," Eli said, kissing her cheek.  
  
Grace nodded. Eli's cell phone went off. Eli searched his pockets until he had pulled it out, "Hello?"  
  
"It's for you," Eli said with a smile, handing the phone off to Grace.  
  
"Hello?" Grace asked uncertainly into the phone.  
  
"Gracie," Her mother's voice came back, loud and clear.  
  
Grace smiled, "Mom!"  
  
"Miss me?" Lily asked.  
  
"It hasn't even been a day yet," Grace said with a little laugh, "But, yeah, I miss you."  
  
"I miss you too, honey," Lily said, "No don't forget to call me or your father... every night."  
  
Grace rolled her eyes at Eli, but with a smile, "I will Mom. I love you."  
  
"I love you too," Lily said. "Uh, Zoe wants to talk to you."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Hi Grace!" Zoe said excitedly, "I trained Pringles to sit today! You missed it!"  
  
Grace smiled, "That's great, Zoe. You'll have to teach Pringles how to do a lot of things by the time I come back."  
  
"I will!" Zoe said, surely. "Oh, Mom says I should let you go. We love you!"  
  
"I love you guys too," Grace said softly. "Bye."  
  
Grace ended the phone call, handing it back to Eli.  
  
"Are you okay?" Eli asked, seeing the sad look in Grace's eyes.  
  
Grace nodded, "I will be."  
  
Eli kissed her lightly and then pulled her back against him. They sat in silence, watching the trees passing by in the opposite window. The radio played in the background as Eli held her.  
  
"I'm leaving today  
  
Living it, leaving it to change..."  
  
Grace sighed contentedly in Eli's arms. This was actually happening. She was actually going on tour with her boyfriend, the guy of her dreams... her true love.  
  
"...Slowly drifting into a peaceful breeze  
  
Tongue tied, twisted are all my memories  
  
Celebrating a fantasy come true  
  
Packing all my bags finally on the move...  
  
I'm leaving today  
  
I'm living it, leaving it to change..."  
  
Amy walked past them on her way to the front to talk with the other guys. She smiled at them, and Grace wondered why she had ever been afraid that Amy would steal Eli away. Grace knew now that no one would ever be able to take Eli away from her... he just loved her too much. He was her soul mate.  
  
"...As I'm driving I'm captured by the view  
  
So much beauty, the road becomes my muse  
  
The heat is rising and my hand flies through the wind  
  
Cool, calm, collective is a child that lies within..."  
  
"Grace?" Eli asked.  
  
"Hmm?" Grace asked, lost in the song and her own thoughts.  
  
"Did you ever think two years ago, that we'd be here right now... that we'd be a couple?"  
  
Grace turned her head, so she could look back at him, "Never."  
  
"But, now, I couldn't picture myself with anyone else," Eli said, turning his head to kiss her.  
  
"Me either," Grace agreed between kisses.  
  
"...I'm leaving today  
  
I'm living it, I'm leaving it to change..."  
  
"We're going to be okay," Eli said reassuringly.  
  
Grace nodded, with a smile, "Everything's going to be okay."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
The End. 


End file.
